My 15 month old still cries when nanny comes in the morning - is this normal?

Janiston, i think people are concerned that if you have a nanny cam without her consent, then its illegal? OR can you have a nanny cam without her knowing???

I know of a nanny who was filmed without her knowledge, and she was looking for a new job immediately. I would be VERY uncomfortable to find a hidden camera, although if id known about it i might be ok with it.

Occurs to me if you are secretly filming then you are condoning any undesired behaviour towards/around your child e.g. internet usage/abuse, so you can catch them. Telling the nanny would surely eliminate this happening in the first place by those likely to do it so your child would be better off.

I don't care what those big brother people say about forgetting the cameras are there I could not (in my second camera job) forget about the cameras- and yes, the mother spent a large part of each day watching and ringing me about things I was doing- without ever informing me the cameras were there (found out a different way). I actually am wondering now if anyone filming would need to register with information commissioner.

I think the emotional need for a camera could be linked in some circumstances to an emotional transfer of anxiety to the child.

FWIW I'm with you Janiston. Well done for actually having view on this with some proper grounds. But, as it's been pointed out several times, it's a side issue in this situation.

I ignored my 2.5 yo DC crying when nanny arrived for 6 months, thinking it's "normal" untill a terrible thing happened and we were forced to let her go. Bitter, bitter memories.

Ok I thought it was if you didn't tell the employee, I stand corrected!

But Janiston a nanny cam is not using it in one's home, you're using it in someone's place of work so it's a slightly different legal situation?

I have the opposite problem - nanny comes to take one child out and the one that gets to stay with me is screaming like a banshee. Doesn't mean I'm a bad mother!!!! (I hope!! )

But, for me (and I'm not going to get into the legalities or rights / wrongs, of the whole thing) if you need a nanny cam, you have the wrong nanny.

I have a whole host of issues with my nanny, but do I trust her with my kids? Absolutely!!! Without question! If I didn't, I wouldn't be leaving my kids with her. End of.

There is no guarentee, there never is in life, but it sounds as if this is not the nanny for you.

I always have to wonder about the use of nanny cams- parents who go to work and pay a nanny to care for their child have the time to sit and watch what goes on in the day? Do they come home, sit on the sofa and watch hours of footage of their childs day? Or is it live streaming, watching it on the internet like some nurseries do now? I know I spend a lot of time in the house looking after my charges so parents would spend every waking moment watching me making sandwiches and changing nappies! Use of a nanny cam is one of the few things that would make me leave a job- if I didn't know about it and discovered one I would leave immediately, if I was told one was to be installed I would hand my notice in. Its not so much the being watched, as there is nothing really I wouldn't want to parents to watch (though I sing less and I wouldn't crawl around with the baby if I was conscious of being watched constantly). Its the trust thing- if they can't trust me, well why I am I there? Why are they paying me? Because I spend time out of the home too, school runs, park time, groups. Why do they trust me to do that and not care for the children at home?

To the OP- I think its an age thing, the nanny may be perfect yet because the child has met them at that awkward clingy age, plus the break, all the child thinks when nanny arrives is that means mummy/daddy is going soon. Its you going that is affecting them, not nanny arriving. Thats from my years of experience as a nanny in a hotel, where we had different children every day and saw so many different reactions to being in the nursery, and my experience as a nanny. It just takes longer to bond when the relationship starts at that age, some children just find it harder to take to someone new at that age. If that is the only issue, I'd hope you'd give her a little longer to form that relationship. If there are other issues as indicated in the op, weigh it all up. This may well be an issue with your next nanny or nursery or whatever else you chose.

You have to put up signs in public places to say there are cameras. It needs to be in contract in work place and nanny should expect some privacy at work and not just in bathroom. Data protection is serious issue. e.g. Parking violations via cctv without notices up are also a case where legal challenges are stronger (spent ages on this once) though most people just pay and people just don't seem to know about it.

Nothing wrong if nanny knows and agrees. I have had cameras in past: one family was fine. But although second family loved me I felt (and was) watched in detail by one. Felt totally abused and my mind could not prioritise in job and found I disproportionately concentrated on e.g. how I swept up crumbs from a surface. I was not totally myslef and would unconsiously put parents ideas of a good upbringing before what I actually felt instictively in the moment and from training what was best for the child. Nannies and parents are never 100% compatible and tiny inconsequential things your nanny does could ruin your relationship. It would be highly unlikely for me to accept cameras again; I usually ask. imo you need to tell her asap that she has been filmed. Unless she knows you I imagine you couldn't use film as official evidence.

crying- I'd give it a bit longer. Having you around can make it harder for nanny and child to bond naturally. You are obviously anxious enough to use camera so this might transfer to (nanny and) child who may then worry about you leaving. Can you pop back in day at a random time to see how things are?

secret filming would be illegal, but it's possible the nanny knows.

I imagine the crying is quite common for this age - I was an au pair and my predecessor developed a very elaborate distraction technique to let the parents get off to work. I never dared to vary it.

I'd seriously reconsider your nanny for the following reasons:

• you don't trust her
• you're secretly filming her in her workplace (which I think is illegal).

The crying thing - DS did this especially when we go back to work after holiday or if he's ill.

Janiston - can you please explain how data protection (or less likely human rights act) isn't governing use of CCTV in workplace. The rights and wrongs of whether it is proportionate , how it's done are relevant and whilst it may not prohibit , it certainly limits use (eg on how footage is used in a disciplinary).

But I do agree that it's a side issue here as relationship seems to be broken.

At 15mths he has been used to his mum and suddenly a stranger is introduced to him so yes he may cry when you leave but bet if you returned or rang a few mins later that ds isn't crying

You say he settles and plays with the nanny so he must be ok - or else he would scream non stop

When you arrive home in the evening is ds crying or happy doing something with nanny

In most work places these days there are cameras. They are in the most part not hidden. So employees are aware that they are likely to be filmed/sound recorded.

Trust your instincts but do take account that a child who wants their parent to stay with them will play up when they realise you are going to leave them. Thus, leave, sit in the car a couple of mins and come back again to pickup something you've forgotten (so you can see if your child is still upset, or not).

Trust is important, sounds like there is a breakdown in trust so for everyone concerned it is probably best to move on.

Janiston it is illegal to film someone in a work place without them knowing the camera is there. If you have a nanny your home is her work place. It is a horrible thing to do to someone and would serve anyone right to have a nanny walk out on them that day if they found it.

It's difficult. I used to babysit the same children for a long time when I was a late teen and early 20 something.

The eldest (a boy) would be delighted to see me. The youngest (a girl) also loved to see me and play with me and I used to sit next to her bed until she fell asleep, she wouldn't let me go. But when I turned up, she would hide behind her parents and would often cry and tell them she didn't want them to go out. She was about 4 when she stopped doing this. She remembered donig it and when she was 6 we had a giggle about it. I told her I was so embarassed by it as her parents must think I was really mean to her. She said it was because she was shy. She was fine once I had been there for twenty mins or so but I think she was literally just shy.

Your DS might just be sad because he knows you're going out.

janiston how would you feel if your boss secretly set up a camera above your desk in the office etc and recorded your every move/phone call etc

would you like it?

the fact oliviar or her dh has a camera would mean they dont trust her and they installed one illegally and didnt TALK to their nanny

if you dont trust your nanny there is NEVER gonna be a working healthy relationship

I suggest you give up your jobs and look after your own children