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Original poster

Nanny asks for day off, is refused, and calls in sick anyway

153 replies

oranges · 19/09/2011 07:51

Our nanny asked for today off to greet her boyfriend when he gets back from holiday. I did try to accomodate her request but just couldn't. But her sister has now texted me to say she's not coming in. I have no choice but to believe her but it looks fishy. Can or should I say something? She calls in sick quite often and I've never said anything before than get well soon. And we give loads annual leave- 8 weeks a year, just on the understanding that it's taken at a time that suits us. I have also always said yes before for requests for time off, even if IRS inconvenient but today is really, really tough. Am wondering if we should look at nurseries instead.

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Original poster
oranges · 23/09/2011 21:26

Thank you. He;s not going to have a speedy recovery. It's terminal. Sad. And now my inlaws are miffed with me because I haven't gone to visit yet (we only found out last week). But I've spent all my time at work (in work now - I work the occasional weekend and sods law says this is one of them. ) or dealing with nanny and finding new childcare. i thought I was helping by doing that and letting dh go instead. ah shite. It's just one of those weeks.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 23/09/2011 20:34

most nannies or should i say professional dedicated nannies will bend over backwards when employers parents are ill :( and work late/extra days - or maybe thats just me

last 2 jobs i have had ill boss gp's and sadly both died and i did everything i could to make that awful time easier for my boss's

hope fil has a speedy recovery

Original poster
oranges · 23/09/2011 18:19

I think because she takes quite a few sick days (but is genuinely sick, and never unprofessional about it).
And possibly worried about childcare arrangements, but reassured by sound of cm. I've NEVER used childcare problems as an excuse for work before, which is why I was so mortified to have to do it on Tuesday. The deal was always that as I work part time and dh full time, he will take the hit at work if kids are sick etc. Even this week, he stayed off on day one and the morning of day two, but then I had to pick up the slack. The trouble this week again, was that it was two days in a row, at a really tricky time, and dh needed some time to deal with his unwell father.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 23/09/2011 17:01

why was your boss shocked oranges?

or was she worried you didnt have child care in place - ie your new lovely cm :)

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 23/09/2011 17:00

Thanks for taking the time to update...good luck with new childcare!

Original poster
oranges · 23/09/2011 16:59

just a postscript. I sent the letter and called the nanny to tell her I was giving notice. We both agreed it wasn't working out and she was quite calm about it.
The only person who sounded shocked I fired the nanny was my normally draconian boss.

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CoffeeIsMyFriend · 22/09/2011 16:50

hope all works well with your new childcare. And hope your nanny gets the hint that her time keeping and sick days are out of line.

here's to stress free childcare for the future.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/09/2011 16:11

welcome :) Glad cm is all sorted x

ChristinedePizan · 22/09/2011 14:57

So glad to hear that, hope it all goes swimmingly with your new CM

EightiesChick · 22/09/2011 14:54

Glad you have found a solution!

Original poster
oranges · 22/09/2011 14:37

so. I've found a lovely cm (thanks Blondes for prompting me to look at that again) and have written letter giving notice to nanny. We were very generous with holidays - I'm paying for it now as I despite having had about 3 weeks off, we still owe her 2 days holiday as well. But I'd rather make a one off payment and wash my hands off the whole thing, than quibble about it.
About to feed dd a yoghurt then go out to post letter. Thank you all for holding my hand this week. I've really needed it.
x

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Blondeshavemorefun · 21/09/2011 22:09

if you have to/want to pay her then make her come in - gives you breathing space to find new childcare

ChippingIn · 21/09/2011 18:31

oranges - please don't let this put you off hiring a nanny. Most nannies are worth their weight in gold and will make your life easier not harder :)

I really don't see why you need to pay her the month notice - I wouldn't.

SansaLannister · 21/09/2011 16:49

Oh, oranges! This just gets worse and worse! Have you sent her the letter today? Don't back down. You don't need or deserve this. You sound really fair. And if you had that many sick days in only 9 months when you were part-time working in any other place, at the very least you'd have some explaining to do to HR. At others, it's grounds for dismissal if you're still in the probationary period.

This is nonsense. This person just isn't committed to the job. It's not your fault, and not your problem. This is stressing you out too much.

Original poster
oranges · 21/09/2011 10:56

Yes the boyfriend request was absurd anyway. He'd been away 3 weeks! No fab, the picniking nanny was not mine. Mine is The one who had to be told not to smoke on duty.

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Blu · 21/09/2011 10:39

Oh, FFS, requesting a day to be with her bf after a holiday is pathetic anyway. Unless he has been away for a year or is returning with some horrible holiday-incurred injury or something, it's just pathetic in the extreme.

That level of sappiness and flakiness, and not tellling you she was sick herslef would make me furious.

TheOriginalFAB · 21/09/2011 10:34

If this is the nanny who called in sick and then was seen on facebook having posted about a picnic then definitely get rid. She has no problem lying and letting you down. You need childcare you can rely on totally.

SansaLannister · 21/09/2011 09:54

You're too close to the one-year mark to give her more chances.

SansaLannister · 21/09/2011 09:53

Just sack her like your payroll office said. Pay her the month's notice, she hasn't been with you a year.

Move on. No more chances. She has completely taken the piss.

CherLola · 21/09/2011 09:52

PS - Please don't tar us all with the same brush. There are good nannies and bad nannies -just as there are good parents and bad ones. You sound like a good employer who is trying to do right by your kids and even your nanny who doesn't deserve it. x

CherLola · 21/09/2011 09:47

As a nanny with 16 years experience - this behaviour is totally unacceptable (7 sick days in 6 months) and then having her sister call in 'Sick' for her tells me she has no respect for you or your family (no matter how good she is with the children). It's time for a formal sit down chat when the kids are in bed. Lay down the law and give her a written warning. If things don't change for the better - give her notice. Good luck xx

SansaLannister · 21/09/2011 09:37

Do it now, oranges, before you get any closer to this one-year mark. She sounds immature.

Original poster
oranges · 21/09/2011 09:31

On another note, it has really put me off hiring nannies. Before her, I was using another one temporarily while I was on maternity leave and she kept putting her rates up, and insisting I pay for holiday, even though she was only doing a few hours a week.
I think I much prefer being a customer - using nurseries and childminders that I can walk away from, than an employer managing and meeting demands.

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Original poster
oranges · 21/09/2011 09:28

Thanks. Yes, I do use a payroll company and they suggest a brief letter giving her notice, and I can just pay her the month's notice period. I'll send that to her today.

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zipzap · 21/09/2011 01:07

Have you plotted her sickness days and times she was very late against things like her club nights, boyfriend being around, even time of the month if she is claiming it is period related to see if there is any sort of pattern? Might be worth doing before you confront her officially next. And checking itagainst her Facebook pages!

I do think it is only polite to tell the other family that you are giving her the boot and why. If she isn't messing them around well that's great for them, if not they can decide what to do for themselves.

And you might discover that nursery were only too pleased for her to come to work for you so they didn't have to bother firing or disciplining her!.... In which case their reference for her wouldn't have been bad because they wanted her to go (I used to work for a boss who would give bad references out when she wanted to keep people, she got caught out when one of the girls went to do an mac in occupational psychology after getting really downhearted about not getting far with other job applications. The psych tutor luckily saw through the dodgy boss and noticed the mismatch between the rest of her cv and one bad reference and wanted to interview her as a case study if nothing else as it was the worst reference she had ever seen! Think she ended up reporting the boss to her bosses, not long afterwards they swapped to doing the basic factual references only...)

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