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Original poster

Au Pair issue what would you do?

34 replies

CookieLady · 06/09/2011 20:01

Hi,

I anticipate being ripped to shreds on here, but, oh well my day can't get worse! My au pair doesn't seem to understand (even though I have translated it into her native language) that whilst she has every right to privacy she can't keep non-kosher meat in the mini-fridge her room nor can she leave her laptop open and logged on to her emails when she is meant to be watching over DS. Her response was "You can't control me. It's in my room". Furthermore, earlier today she left DS unattended in the kitchen with our dog which we explained on the very first day is unacceptable and could be potentially dangerous. When I spoke to the agency they were more interested in the fact that they would have to find her a replacement family and weren't very sympathetic about her stinking attitude. They have stated that we need to give her one week's notice. I don't want her in my home any more. We've gone out of our way to make her feel welcome and part of the family but she keeps harping on about how it's not her habit. I don't have any confidence in her and think that she may do something horrid just to be spiteful. Is giving her a weeks pocket money in lieu of notice and setting her up in a B&B okay?

Thanks.

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Original poster
CookieLady · 06/09/2011 22:09

Okay, just went in her room to tell her it's not working out. She had the cheek to tell me that we don't respect her religion. Arghhh!!! The wardrobes stink of sausages, she'd been hiding it in there. When we confronted she sniffed and said "no it doesn't". OMG. I'm furious. She refused to see that leaving a dog and a child alone is negligent. Instead she shrugged her shoulders and retorted "in my country it's normal". Argh!!! Angry

OP posts:
fraktious · 06/09/2011 21:03

Ah the 'you can't control me in my room' re: religion made me wonder, plus it would have been easier to send her home.

Agency can't insist you keep her if you provide her with alternative accomodation and if she's flouting your faith related house rules so blatantly (and therefore causing you lots of hassle) you're more than right to insist she goes. Legally you do have to give a week's notice though - as an employee she's entitled to it (or pay in lieu).

Original poster
CookieLady · 06/09/2011 21:01

We had a lovely Spanish au pair before and she never did any of these things. Feel very disheartened as am struggling with childcare.

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Original poster
CookieLady · 06/09/2011 20:59

Fraktious, she's Czech.

Killercat, I really do want her out now but agency agreement means that she has to have a week's notice. Angry

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DrSeuss · 06/09/2011 20:58

If she knew about the issue regarding your faith and took the job anyway surely that is agreeing to your terms. Just ditch her! I just googled it and there are plenty of girls out there who share your background. I would also say that there are plenty of non Jewish girls who would show more respect for your home and care for your kids.

killercat · 06/09/2011 20:53

Get her out of there! We have had two fabulous aupairs, but one rubbish one before... We bought her a eurostar ticket and sent her home the next day (she sounds similar! Left our dd on her own to email upstairs and back door was open with paddling pool outside! I discovered it when came home unexpectedly and I'd just TOLD her the previous day how emailing and skyping upstairs was unacceptable if she was in sole charge which was never fir very long).
Urggh, she had the nerve to tell me I was in the wrong.

fraktious · 06/09/2011 20:47

1 week pay in lieu of notice and alternative accomodation is more than fair. Depending on your contract either of those could be gross misconduct and dismissal without notice (not that I'm saying you should, btw, but something to consider for next time).

Original poster
CookieLady · 06/09/2011 20:22

The agency knew about the meat and we told her when we spoke on the phone. We even went out with her to buy kosher meat.

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DrSeuss · 06/09/2011 20:13

A paid holiday because she's too lazy to do her job properly? Sounds good to me! The only question I have is re the meat. Did you make this clear before she took the job and have you taken her to see what Kosher meat is available for her? If so, she agreed to it so why object now? If the above conditions are adhered to, I think you've been more than fair.