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Original poster

Au pair disaster!!!

37 replies

AliM7482 · 21/08/2011 12:54

Hello all
I'm hoping to harness the collective wisdom of Mumsnet as we are in a spot of bother.
We have lovely twins aged 3 and a baby of 9 months. I'm due back to work at the beginning of Sept and we found a brilliant au pair through aupairworld, who was due to arrive at the end of August to help us with the drop-offs and pick-ups every day (kids are with childminder during the day).
Brilliant? So I thought... we have just now heard from her that she's not coming, which leaves us in a total fix. I don't know why she has changed her mind and daresay we will never find out.
Meanwhile I can't delay my return any longer (have already pushed the date back twice for various reasons).
We have got back into the saddle again with Au pair world, have put an ad on Gumtree, registered with an agency, and also put profiles up on other sites like greataupair.
What else can we do? I am starting to feel very desperate about the whole situation. Please give me any ideas you may have!! We have done some interviews already but either the candidates speak NO English whatsoever, or they are just so odd that we can't consider them as realistic prospects.
ps in case it helps, I consider this to be a pretty "typical" au pair role, 25 hours per week plus 2 nights babysitting, daytime and weekends are free, we live in London and are offering £80 per week, own room with bathroom, TV, sofa, desk etc.
Please please help! Should we be looking elsewhere or offering something different?
Ali

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harrietthespook · 21/08/2011 17:40

I still wouldn't consider anyone who didn't speak English to a good standard though even for that little time.

harrietthespook · 21/08/2011 17:30

I have looked at live in nannies and have never been able to find one for as little as Frak mentions gross, for the hours I needed (8.30-6.30). But if you are paying in the region of 400-450 pw at the CM for all three plus the AP, the AP plus CM could be a false economy. I would think you could get someone for that. But if you really like the CM and the environment and just need flexibility on pick ups from the AP then go for it.

I assumed you were doing what you mentioned - that the AP was just helping in the am and at the close of the day. We considered an AP for the aged children you have (but only two) who would have had to work from around 3.30 to 6.30 with the baby and another child and said NO. So I agree with Mr A from that standpoint. BUT if you are proposing say an hour and a bit in the evening and help in the morning getting everyone out the door, I think it's fine.

You will probably need to think about when they're sick but this is not a problem for today!

swlondonnanny · 21/08/2011 16:18

Hi AliM7482
I might be able to help. Could you contact me at swlondonnanny at yahoo.com
Thank you!
Damiana

fraktious · 21/08/2011 16:09

If you have room for live in and aren't averse to someone inexperienced you shouldn't be paying £800/week. More like £300tops in gross salary, £500 when you count incidental added costs over having an AP who lives in anyway.

Work out what CM plus AP would cost in salary, deduct employers NI and advertise it as a nanny job with that salary. Take whichever option comes along first.

And yes, you need someone with good English just in case of emergency.

cookielove · 21/08/2011 15:11

I figured that a nanny that had been in job for a number of years would not work for so little however a nanny fresh from college might seeing as it is a live in role as well. I know some people are unsure of using carers fresh from college, but they often can be at there best and they have had two years of experience behind them, and of course they would be cheaper.

Original poster
AliM7482 · 21/08/2011 15:08

Thanks all for the helpful suggestions!
mranchovy, I haven't gone into the details of the job description here as I didn't want to bore everyone and it wasn't that relevant to what I was asking. Don't be so quick to judge! it certainly isn't sole charge for the entire 25 hours. It would be sole charge for the walk to the childminder each day, and the walk on the way back - maybe 15 mins each way? - but I don't think that is unreasonable for an au pair to do. We are also thinking a couple of dinnertimes a week but for the rest of the time (bath, other dinnertimes, bedtime etc) either me or my husband will be here.
FWIW we did think about a full time nanny, but sadly we are not in a position to afford one with the hours we need (and I wonder who is, when you're looking at £800 pw including all the tax etc).

OP posts:
mranchovy · 21/08/2011 14:49

Sole charge of a 9m baby, let alone with 3yo twins as well, even for 'only' 25 hours per week is a big ask for an au pair, only a tiny percentage of the candidates I have seen on APW could handle this - it is definately NOT a typical au pair role.

Many people with sufficient maturity and experience to handle this will be looking for a full time nannying role, have you considered going down this route?

cookielove · 21/08/2011 14:26

I realise that you would prefer an aupair, however even just for a stop gap till you find someone else could you go to your local college and advertise the temp posistion to child care students, they shouldn't go back studying until sept so they may be able to offer some care till you can find someone more suitable.

Also maybe a nanny, someone who has just finished college may be quite suitable for you.

harrietthespook · 21/08/2011 14:21

And for a baby that young, for what it's worth, I think you are very right to hold out for someone with as good English as you can find. You have twins and a nine month old - you need someone firing from all cylinders immediately.

harrietthespook · 21/08/2011 14:19

Your message is scaring me - ours is due end of next wk.

I would consider an agency on this occasion - it is likely to be quicker than AP World. We are on our third AP -we've had two via Abacus Au Pairs in Brighton. They may have someone suitable on their books - they seem to be able to recruit quickly year round. I paid GBP 260.

ChitChattingaway · 21/08/2011 14:03

Would your CM be willing to let you run longer days until you get the au pair situation sorted out? Not ideal, but worth an ask as it's only temporary.

AKMD · 21/08/2011 13:33

What a pain for you! Do you have friends or relatives who could step in for a week or so while you find an alternative solution?

Don't automically write off au pairs who can't speak English - hearing another language spoken by a native is extremely beneficial to babies and small children and could be a real positive. As the au pair will be immersed in English and as the au pair scheme requires the au pair to attend language classes, it won't be too long until they have a working knowledge of English and if you invest in extra lessons for them (which I'm sure a good au pair would be very grateful for) they will pick it up even more quickly. For example, I lived in Italy for a while and it took me about a month, attending a language class every day and living with Italians, to go from nothing to being able to hold a decent conversation. I was fluent enough in three months to get the equivalent of a 1:1 in first exams I sat at the Italian university I was attending.