Am I being unreasonable regards holidays?

You sound disgruntled. I think you should consider whether this employer / employee relationship is already beyond the point of repair.

You both should have put the holiday agreement in writing. This is not about all employers vs all nannies. There are plenty of employers on this thread trying to help you. And most of them are saying you should get to choose half of them. However, unless you contract explicitly gives you this right, the reality is your employer has every right to choose every one of your holidays. It is common for an employer to let the nanny choose half, but it is not the nanny's entitlement to do so.

I don't think your employer is sweetness and nice and you are to blame for this. I think you have neglected to seize the opportunity to communicate effectively.

But, you are still looking at this as the employer has done everything wrong, and think there perhaps the blame can be distributed a bit more evenly.

If you don't sit down and discuss it then it is only going to fester until you walk out. So you need to make sure that you do have the conversation to sort it all out, leaving no room for interpretation/misinterpretation.

10 hours is a normal nanny day so I would allow my nanny to have 3/5 X 28 = 17 days. Assuming that you do set days a week (eg mon/wed/fri) I would then subtract from those 17 days those mon/wed/fri that fall on a bank holiday each year, leaving you with, say, 14 days. Of those 14 I would allow 7 to be at my choice, 7 to be at nanny's choice. I would then ask Nanny to let me know with at least 1 month's notice, what days she will have.

That's the view from a parent and I would say that if you demanded anything more I might (if I were a parent) get a bit annoyed. Anything less than that seems a bit unfair on you. But these are all up for negotiation - there is no contractual right about who chooses the holidays dates themselves.

Your taking time out unpaid has, to be honest, only confused the situation - I can imagine her saying that you were determined to take the time off, come what may, even though it didn't suit her, and you bulldozed her by saying you would just take it unpaid, and refusing to work those weeks, even though you were required, and that at the time you were new and she didn't have the energy to stand up to you. I'm not saying that this IS the situation, just that this may be how she sees it. I imagine she will now turn round and say that you have used up your holiday entitlement in terms of the number of days, and she will now pay you off for those days that you took as unpaid (probably because she can't cope with all the days off you are taking/asking to take).

FWIW I would never ever allow a nanny to take extra days off unpaid - it just muddies everything up, especially when she obviously wanted you to work.

Anyway, what's done is done. You are entitled to 17 days and if you want the non-Bank Holiday days that you have to all fall outside of term-time you need to get that agreed on Friday too (I would personally never allow this and would instead insist that holidays out of term time can only be taken for exceptional reasons).

Given that your DH is in the teaching profession you migh tfind it far easier to nanny for a family in same profession because this problem will come up ALL the time otherwise - she will want more help in the holidays, not less, so will always get upset if you want to take time out then (for two reasons - before her DC are at school it is always cheaper/nicer to holiday out of season, after her DC are at school holidays are critical in terms of childcare needs if she isn't a teacher herself).

This sounds very diorganised on both sides. I agree with my nanny / au pair at the start of the contract which days will be hols. I do often ask that her hols are taken in the school hols, and I pick a few of my own (like American Thanksgiving and 4th of July). If she has something like a wedding, I'm flexible. If she wats two weeks off at short notice because it suits her boyfriend's boss' schedule, then it will probably be declined. She has no contractual right to choose her own holidays, but in practice I try to accommodate whereever I reasonably can.

Yes, it's now 16.8 days (which can be rounded up to 17). It sounds like the contract was drafted before the entitlement increased in October 2007.

But this can include bank holidays, so if your entitlement is 12 days plus bank holidays and one of your normal working days is a Monday you will get at least 16 days each year because Easter Monday and the 3 spring/summer bank holidays are always on a Monday, and in some years (particularly 2011 and 2012) you will probably find that at least 1 of the other bank holidays is on a working day too.

Depends on the contract. There is no automatic right to time off on bank/public holidays. So your employer could decide that you take every bank/public holiday falling on a working day off as part of your leave.

when my son was younger the way we worked it was
nanny wants holiday and is unavailable for work = takes out of nanny annual leave

mummy wants holiday, however nanny is available and holiday is within nanny hours - then nanny gets paid (not her fault you don't need her)

alternative - mummy wants holiday, nanny comes along too and is working - and nanny MUST keep passport up to date

all nanny own choice hols to be agreed at least 2 months in advance

mummy hols - nice for nanny to know well in advance, but if she is being paid not really relevant

regarding 12 days annual own choice leave this is correct working on days
own choice leave plus public holidays ( 20 days divide by 5 times by 3 = 12 days)

You need to sort out how many days annual leave you get in total - under UK employment law the minimum is 5.6 weeks. There is a holiday calculator on the BusinessLink.gov.uk website.

Your employer can dictate when all holiday is taken. However you may not stay in a job long if the employer never approves your requests for holiday. Holiday must be requested in advance, in writing is best.

What does your contract say about:
Holiday entitlement
Bank and Public holidays
Notice required on either side regarding taking holiday.

LACBNQ - childminders are self employe and set their term which a parent agree's to. Nannies are employed so need to negotiate a contract with the parents.

curiousJuli - I would ask to sit down with your employers and talk this out! Explain to her your legally entitled holiday, and have exact dates and paid/unpaid time off written down. I would also explain that, normally, nannies choose half their holiday and a nanny chooses half. Also ask if there are any times in the future that your can or cannot take time off and why - for eg, her boss won't let her take time off in August.

Basically, sit her down and try to work it out. If you come out of that meeting still annoyed, then I would start looking for a new job and leaving. And in future always have that chat before you start!!

Childminder I know does the following:
*Any leave she chooses to take is unpaid
*Any leave her parents take they have to pay to 'keep their spot open'
*Nine times out of ten, she gives a list of her dates to all parents at the start of the year for them to be prepared. Most parents then take those particular weeks off, saving themselves some money