how do we handle this? Potential nanny dishonesty

It def. sounds dodgy to me. :(

"I do not use the account except for emergencies and nanny has DH's card."

Really, you've given her your Dh's card and PIN No? First of all you need to stop that if there has been a fraud (by a another 3rd party) you wouldn't have a leg to stand on, as you have knowingly given access to someone who isn't the cardholder.

That's how you could put a stop to it actually - tell her you've been advised you shouldn't have given her the card and that you need to make other arrangements.

When you say spending is high, how high? When my DC were small it was easy to pass a day ion the holidays (esp if good weather) spending hardly anything, as they get older I seem to always have my hand in my pocket.

I agree it's very easy to spend money with children, especially if you aren't keeping track (which is why cards are quote dangerous!) and over time it's also easy to become lax.

Saying you need to start budgeting a bit better is a good intro and then ask her to justify amounts on the statements so you can a) work out a revised level of expenditure to give her and b) see whether the expenses are in line with expectations. If she can't justify the expenses then you can start worrying but if she can then you'll be able to identify what's unnecessary.

I think this will need to be handled carefully and it may well be worth revisiting your contract to see what it says about dismissal.

I once took two children to London for 7 days and we spent £1000 (not including accommodation) on eating out, taxis, sight seeing- aquarium, london eye, river duck thing, swimming, fairs, zoo, souveniers all sorts. And that was with me not being blind to my spending and sometimes having sandwiches and having lots of free playground time (albeit with ice lollies).

This type of spend (and activity level) was more than usual for the parents and they could afford it (and probably didn't notice so much when they spent it themselves) but it was unusual for me and they questioned why it was so high. But when they looked at the expenses it was other peoples (silly London) prices not my silly spending that caused it. The purpose of the trip was they wanted their children to experience all those things so spending a lot was very easily done.

I would never spend more than £20/week now with the family I work for, as you get to their budgets. Maybe nanny thinks if you haven't said anything you think it is reasonable to creep it up over time but surprised that she doesn't mention what they do.

I agree that you could say you realise stuff has gone up recently and you'd like her to work to a budget and keep receipts from now on - I wouldn't assume she was stealing yet, just that she has become slack about spending (easy to do if it's not your money ).

It's madly expensive now to go out and about - I just took dd to the cinema (a 2d film, not 3d) and it was £15, plus £6 for cinema 'boxes' (drink/popcorn/smarties) the we stopped for tea and cake £14 - so £35 for an afternoon out with one child.

Say nothing to her until you're absolutely sure that she has been over-spending. You need to go through all the bank statements to work out what the money has been going on.

I would also (once you've gone through them to have a look) ask her to go through each statement and write against it what it was for. This will then give you the basis for a conversation about how much she's being spending and, more importantly, how much you want to spend in the future.

If she's been spending it on herself, she will have to come clean - and then you can decide what to do.

Why is the card being used for cash withdrawals - the whole point of using the card I would have thought is that it generates a trail of places it is used.

You have no evidence with with you can accuse your nanny of theft as you have no way of proving that the money was withdrawn by her or what it was spent on. The expenditures could be legitimate, the account could have been compromised.

What procedures do you currently have in place for tracking what your nanny does during the day - such as are there mileage records, does your nanny take photos whilst on outings? If like my boss you are quite easy going it can be a great thing as your nanny and your children can do whatever takes their fancy at that moment in time. However you do need a nanny who is concious of what is being spent, how much things are costing - thus a nanny who will hunt out the lower cost options, get the bargains, collect the vouchers, using annual passes, that sort of thing.

Consider how to move forwards... I would suggest:

1. You tell the nanny that there seems to be a high spend on the card and so that you and the bank are able to establish if the account is compromised, that you need your nanny to keep a tighter control of spending on the account - thus could they not use the card for cash withdrawals but that they can use the card (I assume it is a debit card of some kind) for paying for things directly. That way you also get on the statement a list of places the card is used.

1. If getting cash is unavoidable, then you give your nanny some cash, say £10 or £20 and ask them to keep a log (receipts if possible) of what it is spent on.

1. You develop some method that helps you know what your nanny does roughly during the week, such as logging travel journeys.

I wouldn't pussyfoot around if you're sure it's her who's been spending. I would come right out and ask her to look at the bank statements with you and say "can you help clarify a few of these expenditures with me please" (or if you're feeling nicer, just say "I'm sure there's been a mistake because XYZ has been spent" and see what her answer is.

Could you maybe look back at what she's been doing with the children recently and see if you can work out what might account for a particularly high spend, e.g. trips out?

If you want to get to the bottom of the recent expenditure you're going to have to talk to her. It won't be comfortable but you don't have to accuse her of theft, you can just say there seems to be a lot of money going out of the account recently, does she remember making all those withdrawals, and can she give you an idea of what she's spent them on.

If you just want to avoid this issue in future then you can just ask her to start keeping receipts again. But it sounds from your OP as if you want some reassurance about the past as well.

Can you explain that with rising costs you need to tighten your belts and could she start keeping all the receipts again as you want to have a look at where all the cash is going and see where savings could be made.

Alternatively have a problem with the account/card and cancel the card and and start giving her weekly cash which by default will mean it is easier for you to ask what they have done that week.

I have to say coffee whilst out and about is £3+ each time, so buying drinks is £10 a go, plus cakes another £10...............it's easier to spend a lot whilst out and about if it's not actually your money IYSWIM

If you have the bank statements can't you check and see where she is spending the money? I think you have to be sure if you can be before you speak to her.

How many children does she look after and what ages? What does she use the card for? I'm a nanny and have spent at least £200 in the last 2 weeks looking after 3 kids in the school hols and I get petrol money on top of that too so is it possible the amount could have all been spent on genuine things even if it seems a lot at first?

If you keep her on I would say you are not using the account for anything else and can you back to getting receipts or keeping a note of what money is spent so you can keep on top of it.