I have read a book thats got me scared.....How not to F*** them up Oliver James

I agree with Sultan but I'm in the other camp. There are loads of threads on here about him if you look. I can't stand him, he lives in another world to me. I have said this before but I have zero respect for someone who uses the word retarded (in the guardian) and has limited acknowledgment for the genetic input for some conditions like ADHD.

Do a search, there is a lot of discussion about him and he did a webchat.

If you look on [ahem] Netmums for your local area, you will be able to find lots of local childminders. You might even find some on here, on your local MN section.

Oliver James is like Marmite; plenty of people who use/have used nurseries really hate him. I think he tells it like it is. [shrug]

Can I suggest that you go and visit some childminders? Yes, a personal recommendation is good, but in my experience as a childminder the parents often get a vibe about the person/setting they are visiting. Feel free to visit a childminder several times, preferably when she has other children around so that you can see how she is and how happy the kids are.
Take your time looking around until you find one you are happy with. I genuinely cared for all the little ones I looked after and treated them as I did my own. I only have after school kids now so things are different.
Ask lots of questions. If you are lucky enough to find a great childminder you will probably find that she is worth her weight in gold.

Childminders can be a fantastic option and much more of a steady person to create a bond with than nurseries where key workers change every couple of months.

Ok I'm doing a research project on this and have read a fair few publications in the past few weeks about different studies. These studies have been peer reviewed and were done fairly.

It is clear that poor quality group settings can have a very negative effect on a child's well being and they are clearly shown to have consistently high levels of stress. This is mostly in settings where they don't have a really effective key-worker system and children do not get the chance to build a secure and affectionate relationship with one or two members of staff.

In settings where children do have those secure relationships and staff turnover is low the children have similar stress levels to those at home or with childminders.

Clearly there is good and bad in nurseries, childminders and parents and you can't legislate for any eventuality.

If you are still worried, go and talk to the nursery manager and see what their staffing arrangements are and listen carefully to how they speak to the children of all ages.

If the number one priority is the needs of the children in terms of consistency of care and feeling safe and secure and you hear the staff speaking to the children with genuine kindness and affection I think your DD will be fine.

If you are fobbed off with lots of excuses about difficulties arranging rotas to suit staff needs or some other such rubbish, or you don't feel a caring, comforting atmosphere around you, go and look at other provision.

I'd look at childminders as well as nurseries and keep going until you find somewhere which feels right.

It's important for both of you that you find a place that feels right for you to leave your DD each day. If you don't you will be dreadfully stressed and that's bad for everyone.

This is just another stick to beat mothers/parents with from another "expert" whos opinion is just that.....an opinion.
It cant possibly be based on scientific research.
There has been childcare solutions for years, yearsand years and years, and yet there is still no concrete evidence stating catagorically that this is damaging.

I have done what is best for my child, who is happy, healthy and sociable. He is an only, therefore he has needed to learn about other folk in this world apart from his dad & me.

Im sorry, but i do not accept this crap,

1. There is no way in hell i will have paints/water/playdoh, plastercene etc etc in my house.......he had many hours of great fun with it at nursery though....see, no guilt from fainty because ds has not missed out!
2. I NEEDED that 2.5 hours while he was at nursery....to breath, to be me, to go to Morrisons and do my weekly shop without having to recover a welly thrown at an old ladies head from the trolley.
3. I was not a fun mum while suffering from PND...the aunties at playschool were though, and ds bloody loved them.
4. He made stuff that i would never in a million years think up...his imagination was allowed to fly So in summery, it was very good for us

I don't have any studies but I really dislike Oliver James! I started reading his book, 'Affluenza' (which covered some of this ground on nurseries but also looked at 'successful but dissatisfied' professionals) and found his general tone so horrid that I stopped reading it. He seemed to actively dislike all the people he was writing about.

Bear in mind he is starting with the 'nursery=bad' hypothesis and selectively quoting from studies or examples. IIRC, in 'Affluenza' he seemed to draw some odd conclusions such as 'the child is quiet when she is picked up' means 'the child is detached from her parent now' not, say, 'the child had an active day and is a bit tired!'

One thing I found helpful when worrying about how DS1 would cope with nursery was remembering that nothing is irreversible. If you put DD in nursery and it's not for you after all, or she doesn't settle, or whatever, you can seek a childminder, a different nursery or any other options then.

And, as with CMOT, DS1 was at nursery 3 (now 4) days a week from 5 months and DS2 similar - at 3.10 and 16 months respectively, I think they are both happy and well-balanced!

I do wonder what Oliver James's DW thinks of his stance.

Oliver James admits his mum was a bit offhand so that colours his view.

However it makes sense that one to one care is generally better provided the carer does a good job - but doesn't mean that nursery care is rubbish!

Think about why you chose nursery. Is the nursery you've chosen a nce environment? You wouldn't pick a crap nanny over a great nursery would you?

I think what you have to remember is that it is totally impossible to do a proper study on childcare. Those that are out there are not randomised, and don't control for quality of childcare, and are often from the US where childcare isn't regulated, and I think only found negative effects where children were in daycare for very long hours.

Obviously a bad nursery is a bad thing. Just as a bad childminder is - and there are good and bad of both out there, and you need to look closely at whoever you choose to care for your lo.

FWIW, ds was in nursery full time from 4.5 months, and at 5 is a loving, huggy, intelligent child.

I don't think you'll find a study that suggests nurseries are the best form of care for very young children, but they're not the disaster that Oliver James says they are either. Lots of children go to nursery and love it. And like you say, it's often the most reassuring choice for parents because finding an excellent one on one carer is not easy.

Anyway, your daughter is doing three days, and I'm pretty sure the studies that show negative affects of nurseries refer to children who go to nursery full time. And even then, I've never seen one that suggests the difference in outcomes is anything but minimal.