Opinions on whether I am making an unreasonable demand on nanny please!

Poor you!

Leave her in nappies untill she is dry at night for a considerable length of time (two weeks minimum, and don't worry if this deosn't happen in the next couple of year.

Your nanny should, indeed be changing the children's sheets if neccessary. I can't believe she even questioned it.

sounds like the best plan for you all.

and am shocked that a nanny who (I presume) knows you are moving house and having a baby in the near future, thinks its a good idea to even try to "train" at this point (unless child initiated)

for the pampers bed mats , if you put them under the sheet the work better but then need to change the sheet but that's not to bad. at least the matteress is safe...

i am also a nanny and that is totally reasonable to ask the nanny to do that, that what i would do if my boss asked me to as it's part of the childs laundry anyway, not pleasant but life goes on.... as for potty training at night i would say when your child has woken up with a dry nappy for like 10 days or so then try with out a nappy at night .... if they not ready then it'll just upset them if they keep on having accidents... that is what my boss has done with her little one..... also get pampers bed mats as that avoids the wee going on the matteres... it'll happen when they are ready.. try taking them to the loo before bed and when they get up in the morning first thing....

There is a genetic component to bedwetting so if you dh was a bed wetter I don't think it is considered surprising that your dd is not dry yet.

My dc1 was in pull ups to 4 1/2. Overnight she became dry and after a week we took the pull ups off. She has only wet the bed once or twice since then.

Sidge I fully agree that no more pull ups is right I'm sure it can cause bladder infections in an older child. I do know of children who became naturally dry very quickly with lifting. The child is sometimes half woken and needs to be gently reasured. my niece became dry very quickly this way as did my friends child and was quickly able to sleep through the night. Most of the children I have cared for have just started waking with a dry nappy at around 2/4 years old. I know childcare 'fashions' change and I keep ahead of it but for some children lifting worked.

I did say it was slightly old fashioned but putting an older child in pull ups, unless; for a sleepover, to avoid embarrasment is not a good idea. I am sure I read doctors are seeing a lot more bladder infections because of this.

cant say that i have but tbh its not that much hassle to strip dc bed and shove into washing machine and tumble dryer and make up with fresh bedding - we have 3 sets

though there was a time last year in septwhen dc was 5 and just started school and was tired and kept wetting the bed every night as such a sound sleeper and i was a bit ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh as happened every night/second night for a while

we did try lifting but hes a heavy solid boy and again lifting doesnt make the child aware of the need to wee and wake up, so pointless imho

blondes Have you tried the Hippychick bedmats? They are much less 'moveable' than the huggies bedmat things. Also, i put mine under the sheet, so although we have to wash the mat and the sheet it is less than a whole mattress cover

Lifting didn't work for our very heavy sleeping son and we didn't even bother with our other two, nor did we do it more than 2-3 times with ds1 as it was obvious it was the wrong thing to do.

sunshinenanny lifting isn't recommended when trying to achieve night time dryness in an older child. Whilst it can avert a wet bed it doesn't actually promote continence as it can promote the 'wee whilst asleep' message to the brain.

Unless you fully wake the child and walk them to the toilet lifting should be avoided.

One of the first 'rules' at Enuresis Clinic is no more pull ups, no more lifting. (But of course this is in older children and not one as young as the OPs child).

As you said though, achieving night time dryness is largely a developmental stage and in most cases is achieved with minimal intervention from a parent anywhere between 3 and 5.

thank you havepatience for your kind comments :)

if we were in the olden days and had to wash in a cold stream and scrub with a wooden brush, then maybe your nanny would have a point

but takes 30secs to strip a bed, and another 30secs to load a washing machine

i can strip and re make my kingsize bed with 4 pillows and huge duvet in 3mins, so cant take the nanny that long to change a single bed with one pillow

I don't know blondes personally but I know her from here, and if she says this is weird, then it is. She (seems to be from her posts) a highly professional nanny. Your nanny (seems from your posts to be) unprofessional, controlling and a bit precious about her duties. She needs a good reality check. You don't need to "compromise" with an attitude like that. You are very nice, but she is out of order.

I agree with poster's who say child is not ready and think you should leave it a while.

your nanny sounds a bit unreasonable and should not be pushing you to take nappies/pullups off such a young child if child not ready most children are naturally dry by the age of five but some are earlier and some a bit later. I don't think a reward chart would be helpful.

For some older children {5-7} the issue is caused by a tendency to sleep very deeply and in this case 'lifting' which involves carrying the sleeping child to the loo and sitting them on it so they empty their bladder whilst still asleep and then carrying them back to bed works. they eventually sleep through the night or wake if they need the loo. This is slightly old fashioned now but does work without causing distress to the child. Might do your back in if your older child is solid in build

Your nanny has a cheek tbh. Telling you your child is lazy and needs to be dry at night. Refuses to change the bed.

My advice would be to go back to pull ups now and be prepared next time your nanny wants to make an issue out of duties. I used to be a nanny did far more things than nannies now a days would even consider. They seem to think wanting to be seen as a professional means being very rigid in what they will do.

FWIW ds1 was 7.6 before he was able to go all night without a wee.
DD was 7 and at 7.9 still has the odd wet bed.
DS2 is almost 6 and still in pull ups.

unfortunally those mats dont seen to work on my dc as he is a fidget in bed so mat gets crumpled and moves

my charges are 3 and are dry at night now with the odd occasional accident, they have some kind of mat I think its pampers brand where the wee doesnt go through to the sheet and the wee doesnt normally go on their duvet covers so you dont even need to change the bedding normally just the mat protector thing that goes on top of the sheet, Its not like those plastic sheets tho it does actually absorb fluid so child isnt in a puddle iyswim.

I honestly dont see why people get so wound up about children having to be 'dry ', during the day or the night?
In my experience it'll happen when theyre ready, not when the adult is?
saying that I started 'potty training' DS1, when he was 2 3/4 (I was pregnant with DS2) he was dry during the day by the time he was 3, he was just over 4 when he told me he didnt want to wear a nappy at night, because his best friend didnt anymore!!
DS2 was just over 3, we didnt 'potty train', he went straight to standing up at the toilet "like Daddy and DS1" He was dry at night too shortly after, with only 2 accidents.

making/stripping childrens beds is quite normal and part of nursery duties and yes many a time i have stripped beds due to accidents and put in machine and re made bed

tbh your nanny sounds a bit weird

yes it takes 30secs to strip a bed, so if you can do that then great, but if not the nanny can certainly do and re make a few hours later so matress can breathe

i would def recommend getting plastic sheets and at least 3 of them so can dry (as shouldnt go in tumble dryer) and have spares to make up bed straight away

if nappy is soaking in morning then child not ready to be dry at night and a good professional nanny should know that

Not being dry at night is "normal" up to about 7 I think - in that doctors won't intervene if a child under 7 isn't dry at night yet. 3 is still very young.

yanbu
If it helps put others perspective around this...my nanny would do this without comment and would prefer to spend her time interacting with me discussing their day - highlights, things I need to pick up, rather than complain about a task that really doesn't take that long to be honest - I assume she only has to stick the stuff in the washing machine and remake with fresh linen? What is the big deal?

My DD just told me at approx age 4 that she didn't need nappies at night any more and we have probably only ever had 1 wet bed.

I agree with you strip the bed and shove the sheets in the machine and nanny does the rest.

yanbu

If the nanny is the one pushing for no night nappies, then she should change the sheets. If you were the one pushing for no night nappies, then actually the nanny should still change the sheets but you would expect to have more of a conversation about this to get the nanny onboard with the decision, although even if the nanny disagreed, it would still be part of a nanny's nursery duties! So, no alternative for the nanny but slightly different approaches, I suppose.