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Original poster

Mindee very difficult sleeper!

34 replies

gardenpixies32 · 10/06/2011 10:22

I got some good advice with my previous post (thanks) that I thought maybe some light/advice/support could be shed on this problem that is slowly driving me mad!

I have 3 under two, they are 12, 13 and 14 months. 2 are brilliant sleepers and are happy to be put in the travel cot awake and will go to sleep on their own. These 2 sleep for an hour in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon. I am so happy they are such easy babies when it comes to sleep.

However, this is where I am really struggling and just want to pull my hair out some days...The other baby, who is 13 months is not a good sleeper at all. He has to be rocked to sleep or he will not sleep. I have tried so many things and all are very difficult! I know rock him in the pram in the lounge once the other two are in their travel cots. It has taken him up to an hour on many occasions to fall asleep while being rocked in the pram despite him being exhausted! His eye are droopy and he struggles to stay awake but each time he is about to drift off he wakes up and starts crying, an angry cry! He will do this up to ten times before finally falling asleep! Once he is asleep he NEVER sleeps for more than 30 minutes! I have to rock him back to sleep for a second time and he will then sleep for another 20-30 minutes. So he has a total of an hours sleep a day. I can see this in not enough as he is whingy and moany a lot of the time and rubs his ear (which is a sign that he is tired). Also, when he wakes up, he cries/screams, sometimes quite hysterically until I go to him (which is always within a minute or 2).
On Wednesday, I spent 2 a total of hours rocking him to sleep! Surely this is not right!? Do other cms do this?

It is make me really on edge during nap times and I find it all very stressful. His crying often wakes the other 2 and I am just at a loss of what to do!
I have spoken to his mother and she rocks him to sleep at night and he sleeps in mum and dad's bed and she says he is an awful sleeper at night too, waking ofen in the night and needing to be rocked backed to sleep! Sometimes up to 5 times a night.

Please help! I am thinking maybe I just cant care for him anymore but his mother is lovely and I dont want to let them down.

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Original poster
gardenpixies32 · 11/06/2011 09:29

Amy - I am aware that they need less sleep as they get older. I have tired cutting out the am nap, what tends to happen then is he is exhausted by 11:30 (he is up at 5:30am at home)! When I have tried putting him to sleep at 11:30, he cried and cried for around 30 minutes, which I realised is because he is hungry! I then tried feeding him lunch at 11:30 and putting him straight to sleep but the problem was the other 2 who were crawling and walking around the room and the little one couldnt get off to sleep because he was wanting to watch the other 2 playing instead! So he cried and cried and cried! Argh!

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Original poster
gardenpixies32 · 11/06/2011 09:25

Thanks for the replies.

3 hours napping in the day is the norm for a child of that age. He mum wants him to nap well as she says he is so overtired that he wont sleep well at night. His gran looks after him on a Thursday and his mum says that he only sleeps for 20-30 mins a day with the gran and he is tearful and clingy on a Friday.

I have spent so much time thinking about what to do to help him. I check very carefully for his tired signs and he rubs his ear and cries a lot when he is tired, however, like I originally posted, he cries when I put him in the pram for a sleep. I can see he is exhausted and wants to sleep but he seems to have a thing about sleeping! He fights it! When he is about to nod off, he jerks awake crying over and over. I have tired letting him fall asleep in my arms, however, he wriggles and wriggles and wants to play instead. Then, the few times he has fallen asleep in my arms and I move him to the cot/pram, he wakes up and cries hysterically! The other 2 who sleep for 3 hours in the day are brilliant sleepers at night with their parents because they are well rested, which makes a happy baby!

Amy - I have a new 14 month old and looking at his diary from his old childminder (who is moving away, hence me now looking after him), he slept for 2.5-3 hours with her too!

OP posts:
nbee84 · 11/06/2011 08:50

spiggy - my mind is boggling at how they discovered a dog basket worked at nursery Grin

purepurple · 11/06/2011 08:48

The fact that it takes so long to get him to sleep but he only sleeps for 30 minutes is telling me that maybe he doesn't actually need this sleep.
It would be good for you to have all the babies asleep at the same time but we all know that all babies are not the same.
I would be tempted to let him stay awake to see if he falls into his own sleeping pattern. He might be ok with just a short nap after lunch.
DD only had 1 short nap in the afternoon from about 12 months.

misdee · 11/06/2011 08:43

not a childminder but a mum of 5.

4 good/average sleepers, one awful until she was 2. now sleeps a couple of hours in the afternoon 3 times a week.

she didnt have long naps, maybe 15mins every few hours instead even as a newborn.

i use to carry her in a sling around the house if i could see she was tired and needing sleep but not giving in. almost always worked. still worked in the last fortnight when she was having a tired tantrum mid afternoon, chucked her on my back, went to fold laundry, one fast asleep toddler in 15mins.

AMYJ1234 · 11/06/2011 08:38

HI, I'm a CM and ive never had children/babies who have slept a total of 3 hours per day, maybe he's just not tired enough to sleep? Instead of focusing all that time rocking him etc I'd be in the garden or playing with him so that in the afternoon, after his lunch he is much more tired to have a nap without as much resistance. An hour may be enough then and he will sleep better for his mum? Has he got a special blanket he likes which he ONLY gets at sleep time?

HavePatience · 10/06/2011 21:41

I'm not a cm... But, could you just rock with him in a chair while the other two sleep? Perhaps let him just sleep in your arms? Only put him down when he's really deeply asleep? Or turn on TV or MN on your phone/laptop Wink for a bit of a break while they are all asleep?

Or just take him to read some books quietly in the other room while other 2 are asleep so he doesn't disturb them... or music?

My DS used to be a horrible sleeper but now he's brilliant (2.5 years). Please don't give up on him would be my advice :) Keep trying different things - something will work out eventually.

spiggy · 10/06/2011 19:44

Not a cm but my ds was a terrible sleeper so I co slept. This caused problems when he went to nursery at 6 months as he just wasn't used to a cot. After several experiments nursery found that a soft dog basket was the answer. The feeling was more like a proper bed, felt more secure to him and the nursery nurses would sit next to him so he felt someone nearby while he dropped off. They have since used it several times for other troublesome sleepers including my dd. They were a bit worried when the ofsted inspector came round but they actually got praised for it as they were responding to individual needs!

hope you find something that works soon.

Original poster
gardenpixies32 · 10/06/2011 19:24

Bump!

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