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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Yup, Boff's got through another nanny ...

138 replies

BoffinMum · 19/05/2011 21:46

Sooooo, my latest nanny's just told me she's resigning because she doesn't enjoy looking after my eldest DC (aged 13). And she wants to go back to Turkey to be with her mum (nanny is 32).

Hand me the chocolate.

I think I am facing career death, because I can't imagine going through childcare trauma for 9 months again like last time. So I am thinking about sitting on the sofa all day watching Jeremy Kyle instead. I only make £25 a week going to work at the moment anyway. Why bother?

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plupervert · 06/06/2011 09:23

How's it going? Has the nanny set a date for going, and have you made any progress with a solution?

dontrunwithscissors · 30/05/2011 12:43

Just in case my post looked weird , I was referring to BoffinMum's last post - very therapeutic to see that written down.

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2011 14:54

I got as far as you eating nannies then started laughing

StealthPolarBear · 29/05/2011 14:53

Boff I have no advice to give but sorry you are having all this stress x

dontrunwithscissors · 27/05/2011 12:38

Boffin, I think I love you..... Here: Brew Biscuit

Hope you sort out your childcare problems once and for all.

NoelEdmondshair · 26/05/2011 09:13

Oh calm down, dear. I'm not into unconditional parenting and I contribute plenty to my community.

Arf at you being an educationalist now and benefiting all children Grin

Good luck with finding someone to care for your two year old.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 25/05/2011 23:20

I did not say all SAHMs watched Jeremy Kyle and surfed the sofa, only that I probably would if I stayed at home. I did on maternity leave. Remember I am disabled.

In terms of setting up my own gang, we have various committees for curriculum, finance, facilities, staffing and so on at the school and I sit on these with like minded parents. Surprise surprise these are all busy working people and the SAHMs are nowhere in evidence. Similarly running the choir I help with and organising the various community events around here. I am good chums with a number of other working parents, I just have no patience with people that take lots and give little whilst lecturing others on neglecting children.

I have been a parent 24 years, I actually have 4 kids (24, 10, 8, 2), I have spent plenty of time wiping people, thank you very much, but I am off being an educationalist now, which means my efforts benefit all children rather than just my own. I happen to think it is rather selfish keeping an education to yourself and that women should participate in public life more.

So fuck off with your unconditional parenting rubbish and your baggage and your assumptions about other people.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 25/05/2011 18:10

mrs w i think BB (boffys boys) are 2 , 8 and 13

MrsWobble · 25/05/2011 17:56

i'm not sure exactly what ages your children are but i am assuming in the 2 to 13 range. I agree with other posters that finding the same care for both ends of the range is likely to be difficult - it's the same as the nanny/housekeeper problem in that most people will be better at one end of the range than the other so the trick is, I think, to work out what is your minimum requirement for both and then hope to improve on it.

What I would consider in your position is using a combination of nursery and housekeeper.

When my last nanny left (to have her own baby) my youngest was 9 (eldest was 14) and we didn't really want to get another as the children felt they didn't need looking after, although obviously they did. We got a housekeeper who would also do the afternoon primary school run - the older two came home on the bus.

This worked, and still does, because the teenagers don't come home to an empty house, there's someone to notice if they are late and there's someone to prepare their tea. We also get our housework and laundry done.

I found the person through an agency - I spoke to the person running it and explained in detail our requirements and she found me a perfect candidate. She is not English but that was not an issue for us - she was a German teacher in her native country but her English is not good enough to get a teaching job here - and I guess her qualifications may not be recognised.

If you were able to get a nursery place for you preschooler then this might work for you? CAT me if you want the agency name. Good luck!

NoelEdmondshair · 25/05/2011 17:22

"oh dear.. yet again this has become a sahm v working mum.. what a bloody shame.."

No it hasn't, though Boff didn't help with her patronising remarks about SAHMs. And btw plenty of SAHMs can afford holidays and treats Smile

Anyway, best of luck to Boff and her future nannies.

thebody · 25/05/2011 15:34

oh dear.. yet again this has become a sahm v working mum.. what a bloody shame..

its obvious that Boffin wants to work and not stay at home.. thats her right isnt it.. and there should be easy access to affordable child care in her area.

if someone wants to be a sahm then thats her right as well..

however their are prices to pay.. as a now working mum I spend less time with my kids and am knackered BUT can afford holidays and treats.. as a sahm I couldnt afford jack but was there 24/7 for my kids... thats life..

can we all stop assumning that all sahms are bitchy jeremy kyle watching idiots and can we also stop assuming that all working mums put their kids last and careers first.. both are stupid lazy steriotypes and untrue...

ChippingIn · 25/05/2011 14:45

Boffin - I can't believe you are 'here' again :(

Definitely a male au pair/manny, one that's happy to tuck the little 'un under one arm and play rugby with the other two at the same time and if he just happens to be a fittie as well.... it's just a bonus isn't it Grin

You need to look at other work options that will give you more satisfaction. Maybe try asking a couple of close friends if they have any idea why you have been passed over for things - tell them to be bruttttttaly honest. You cannot stay home and watch JK - you'll go out of your mind in a week!!

Strix · 25/05/2011 14:14

It's a bit useless telling me not to say something I've already said. Not that I'm inclined to to obey your command anyway.

NoelEdmondshair · 25/05/2011 13:36

Don't tell me to back off, Strix - this is a discussion board.

Squiffy - I don't have issues with WOHM Hmm though you and Boff clearly have issues with SAHM which is a shame.

Just trying to offer Boff some perspective, which she clearly needs if she is commuting 3 hours a day to a job she doesn't enjoy, barely pays its way, leaves her young son for very long hours being cared for by someone else and she has an unjustified superiority complex about the other mothers in her area.

StillSquiffy · 25/05/2011 09:22

NoelEdmunds, you are clearly NOT a working mum, and clearly NOT a nanny and clearly have issues with mums who work. So why jump on a board that is specifically not aimed at people like you?

Unless you are so mind-numbingly bored with your SAH life that you have nothing better to do, obviously.

Strix · 25/05/2011 08:39

NoelEdmonds, back off. You are spoiling an otherwise nice and helpful thread.

minderjinx · 25/05/2011 08:10

Hang on a minute, if the cliquey school gate gang exclude all the other Mums who don't do this, that and the other, there must be a lot of Mums and possibly Dads who don't fit into this gang (and maybe some who are in, loosely speaking, but who would rather be out if there were an alternative). You can't be the only lovely parent at school.

Time to form your own gang! To start with, there must be others who do all the "graft at school events setting up tables, clearing up rubbish, baking" etc. How about suggesting some sort of social event afterwards? A little bit of company, sympathy and support from like-minded parents might go a way to help you feel less stressed about your situation - and might also point you in the direction of some practical help, such as nanny/au pair recommendations, or a fellow mum who might be willing to trade after school childcare or help in some other way.

NoelEdmondshair · 24/05/2011 23:54

Boff - it's perfectly possible to be a SAHM without turning into a soafer-surfing-jeremy-kyle-watching dolt.

You don't appear to be getting much fulfilment from your career and little remuneration for all the commuting you do and stress you suffer.

You have a young son who is being raised by nanny/ies. Why not chuck in the thankless job you have and spend some time with your little boy?

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/05/2011 22:40

noel you seem to have a problem with boffy Shock Hmm

why :(

she is a wonderful supportive lady and much loved and known on the childminder/nanny boards

Original poster
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:26

NoelEdmonds I think you are a judgemental bitch actually.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:25

I am sure DS would love to spend 24 hours a day with his dad and his siblings as well but it ain't going to happen.

What is it with all this cooping up women in the house around the clock with small children with no light relief in sight? It's so 1950s. At least then you could stick them in a big pram and tell their brothers and sisters to push them around the block until tea time a la Janet and Alan Alberg, whilst you has a secret swig from the cooking sherry bottle and listen to the wireless for a bit.

And at least nannies get to bugger off home at the end of the day and have a bit of respite from the wiping.

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Original poster
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 22:16

Hang on.

They have a little gang that meet down the pub and around each others' houses and exclude all the mums who

a) graft at school events setting up tables, clearing up rubbish, baking and so on (they all disappear when the hard work starts)
b) do any kind of paid work that involves leaving the home or showing a bit of initiative
c) are anything other than white British
d) don't drive (they are 4x4 lovers)
e) are working class (god forbid you are a single parent around here)
f) are disabled (one time they all bagsied chairs for each other and I had nowhere to park myself plus crutches - I think they expected me to sit on the floor)

Who's the snotty one??????

Why am I even defending myself????? This is really not a nice group of people. Which is why I don't have a lot to do with them any more.

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NoelEdmondshair · 24/05/2011 21:45

"Enjoy life as a SAHM?
Yeah, they'll bloody love talking to me at the school gate even more than they do now, what with my uppity degrees and forrin ways and so on.
I meant it when I said I am going to sit at home. The rest of the SAHM gang around here aren't very nice at all and I've got nothing in common with them apart from a reproductive system and a postcode. They have made that more than clear."

Sounds like a snotty cow to me. And I meant it about you spending some time with your DS.

Original poster
BoffinMum · 24/05/2011 21:12

Love you too, Blondes.

Ah, that's the other thread. Sorry. Grin

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Blondeshavemorefun · 24/05/2011 18:46

'waves banner'

blondes loves boffy