It's the nanny's word vs my daughter's... WWYD?

Interesting thread.....i was a nanny years ago.
If i was going to use the shower i would of always asked...and know they would of said yes anyway.

Sounds slightly suspicious.

If she intended to use the shower (ie knew she was going to need it in the day,.....souldnt she of bought a bag of stuff with her??? )...so maybe it was a need to quickly. Maybe she suddenly planned to go out from work???

You need to ask her.

xx

I don't think it's for anyone else to comment on the nanny allowing the children to play outside - that's between Venti & Nanny. Here it's perfectly safe for the kids to be outside on their own and I wouldn't expect a nanny to be sat out there like a lemon while they play with their friends.

taranath - you should know better than to judge another nanny like that - you have no idea what else her and the children did all day. Even if they did play out all day and watch some TV what business is it of yours and why the kids that are taken out and entertained all day every day are a pain in the arse because they never learn to amuse themselves. She's a nanny not a bloody entertainment unit.

Yes, in our street I would be furious if a nanny left my children to play out there on their own because its not safe. Venti, I assume by the relatively relaxed nature of your comments that your street is a bit safer. Nevertheless the fact that the nanny is being paid to work means she not doing her job if she's leaving the kids out on the street on their own. I think I would probably discuss this with your DH - e.g. by asking was he there when they were playing on the street, did she ask him if it was OK? His reaction might also help you establish if something odd was going on.

so would I

wouldnt be leaving a 5 year old in the street either.... as a nanny, OR my own child!

"I would be a bit put out that the nanny had left my kids to play on the street unsupervised whilst she took a shower on my paid time."

I would be a concerned about this too. My eldest charge is 5 and I would never leave him to play alone outside. Are your kids back at school? If not then did they spend the entire day either playing outside unsupervised, or sitting in front of the tv?

I would be a bit put out that the nanny had left my kids to play on the street unsupervised whilst she took a shower on my paid time. Fine if she needed one owing to vomit or grubby activities with the children but that doesn't seem to be the case. Taking a shower because she didn't get time at home before coming to work wouldn't be acceptable to me, especially when she supposed to be supervising/playing with the children. And yes, using the ensuite would feel like a bit of an intrusion when there were alternatives. I would believe your child, including the bit about the hairbrush because of the way they reported it. I doubt if the nanny was looking for her own hairbrush your child would have reported things the way they did.

I think the shower is prob explainable, but I wouldnt be happy with anyone using my hair brush!

Is nobody else thinking she just couldnt be bothered to get up early enough to shower that morning and so showered at work when she realised she looked a bit grotty? Also that she used the ensuite because all the nice toiletries were in there and (wrongly) wanted to use those?

There is no obvious need for the nanny to be showering at all in the morning. The children were playing outside, the nanny was not with them to get hot. You don't get dirty reading a book.

Venti, perhaps you could voice all these issues with your dh (in the same way you have asked us) in a "I am sort of puzzled" way. I would watch his reaction very carefully. Perhaps test this further with 'is she the right nanny for us' - again, watch his reaction.

Like Chipping, I would be checking phone bills etc and keep closer mental tabs on his whereabouts. If anything untoward has happened, it would be pretty brazen. I hope not.

Does the nanny have a partner?

How would she know if it has a better shower?

Is DC playing in the street like DC playing in the garden? Where I grew up we lived in a quiet street and didn't really have much of a garden, so children playing out in the street was common - all the children would sort of look after each other, getting adult help if/when needed. So nanny may not have needed to supervise that play - children don't need constant attention, good for them to learn to play with other children without adult intervention.

Odd to choose to use an en-suite, when other bathroom has a shower. Better shower perhaps?

Initially when I read Venti's OP I thought she didn't trust her husband (asking her DD if Daddy was home - was she SURE Daddy wasn't home) but then I thought maybe she was worried the kids had been left alone while she showered, more than she was worried about Daddy & the Nanny...

Who knows, the Nanny could have showered in the afternoon after her DH had left...

All I know is if there are 3 bathrooms, it's odd to choose the en-suite unless you are there with the DH (or you are a numpty who can't turn on the other shower ).

I would be checking phone bills, email accounts etc...

Oh just read chipping's post. Maybe.....

Laquitar soyfriend maybe an unfortunate turn of phrase here.

Not really a LOL'ing thread now.

Did she bring her boyfriend and needed to freshen up afterwards?

The shower is not big deal (maybe she had to go somewhere after work) but why the en-suit? Was any water on the floor? Wet towels?

How do you know what time your DH left if you had already gone to work?

Lol!

My thoughts exactly, Chipping!

That puts a completely different light on matters. I'm with Chipping - it doesn't sounds great.

so the husband fucked the nanny - while the kids were there - and the shower was her washing the semen away?

Bet you never considered that turn of events eh OP?

I (these days) have a suspicious mind... DH home when he wasn't meant to be, nanny in the en-suite shower... kids outside playing...

Has anything else happened that has made you think

She's back! She was inside the house while your DCs were outside?

What does your DH say?