I don't know if DS likes this nursery; he's only 6mo though... am I jumping the gun?

Yes I agree my child would sleep anywhere, its just in the nurseries I worked in all the babies were put down at the same time and it was impossible to get them all down one would wake another up. they did not put babies in buggies.

cinpin - it depends what the baby is used to - if they are used to darkened room and hushed silence throughout the house when they are sleeping then yes, they will struggle with a shared baby room.

While I was on mat leave with each of them, my DC pretty much stayed with me - which meant they napped in bouncy chair/basket/whatever wherever I happened to be - so it was actually the quiet and the dimmed lights of baby rooms at nursery which freaked them out - to the extent that DD slept largely in pram/buggy out in the general nursery when she was little (DS just adapted)

But children - "The nursery should be following your routine not theirs (EYFS Unique child). They should be putting your child's needs foremost". I absolutely agree with the second half of your sentence, but not necessarily the first. Perhaps they were putting child's needs first re. sleep. If he stayed asleep for 2 hours or whatever, then he obviously needed the sleep. The routine they need to be following is a child's routine, which is not necessarily the same as the routine that child's parents want him/her to have.

After doing temp work in nurseries I am amazed that children got any sleep when they are all put down together it is not a lovely peaceful envirement like babies should have.

Agree children... thats how it should be

BUT the reality is a baby who is put in a cot alone in a pitch black quiet room may not settle as well, or sleep for as long, when in a different not as dark sleep room, with staff members entering every 5 mins to 'check' on babies, especially when other babies are stirring / crying.
Some children will adapt to it fine, others might not.

The children may be more stimulated / excited than in their peaceful home, there is just so much to see and watch, and listen to, and do at nursery compared to home.... children may get tired more easily, sleep less or less well, and then get over tired, which can throw any routine the parents use at home. Thats not the nurseries fault, its just how it is.

equally when older and some nurseries use sleep mats on the floor, I cant imagine any of my ex-charges actually going to sleep on a mat (not cot) on the floor in a room, where there are toys around (even if the toys are put away!)

When nurseries serve freshly cooked home made food, lunch time / tea time etc cant be before food is ready, there has to be some structure to the day, and babies have to fit in with it, unlike in a home setting.

The nursery should be following your routine not theirs (EYFS Unique child). They should be putting your child's needs foremost. If they are not you do need to talk to them. I think considering childminders is a good option as they are better suited to provide a more individual approach. This doesn't mean nurseries can't meet babies' individual needs but yours obviously isn't.

Will just add my experiance

I worked for a family (Mummy was friends with my permenant SAH mummy boss)

Not trying to alarm you or anything, just saying as it is / was.

Babies mummy had to go back to work for 6m so as not to pay back mat pay.
Put baby in nursery 2 days a week.
At home baby was in a VERY strict routine (parents were the strictest i have EVER encountered, to them every minute counted and they revolved their whole lives around her (GF to the letter) routine) For them it worked and they were happy. Fine
At nursery, where sleep room wasnt PITCH BLACK baby didnt sleep properly.
Due to overtiredness she ended up having a fit and briefly stopped breathing

It was resolved by.... Mummy speaking to my mummy boss / me

It was agreed that for the rest of the 6 months I would pick up their baby at 11.30 and look after her until 5.30. (not a huge issue as mums were friends, and it meant my MB had more time with her children)
It meant they only paid nanny rates for 12 hours a week.

I wonder if you could have a similar arrangement so your baby has his lunch at home and sleep in cot as normal?

It is a different environment for him and this might affect his routine as well- more/different stuff going on etc. Also you routine on days he goes to nursery is likely to be different than days he doesn't and this might affect him. DS (who started nursery at 7 months so similar to yours) seems to have a different routine/way of doing things at nursery than at home but I think this is fine.
We also found with DS that he found it really difficult to settle in nursery on 2 days a week. However once we did a full week (actually 4 days in a row) he was suddenly more comfortable - and now really loves it (and is only going 2 days a week).

Just in defence of nurseries - my DD was in a small nursery and absolutely (and determinedly) set her own "routine" - and nursery were always fine with it. The only time I ever observed any of the staff stressed about babies was when they were struggling to get baby to comply with parents view of the routine they needed when the LO didn't want to co-operate - as the carers tended to be much more baby-led if left to make the decisions.

OP - if this isn't going to suit you or your LO then a CM/nanny would clearly be a better option for you.

Sounds like there is a fundamental mismatch here - you have a baby with a very set routine and they don't "do" set routines. Was this not apparent before now?

Are they really making him out to be difficult, or just letting you know that he is taking a little while to settle in? IME most babies don't sleep or eat well at nursery at first - mine certainly didn't - they adjusted quickly though and were soon settled and happy (and loved), but we never really had routines at home anyway - they slept/woke/ate as they wanted to. If you want to keep him in a very set routine that is never going to work.

CM would be a better bet, but as others have said, even that will involve compromise. If you want someone to follow your routine for DS "to the letter" then I think a nanny would be the only option.

You need to swap to CM I think. My DD has gone to nursery since she was about your DS's age but she did not have a rigid routine and I swapped her to something approximating the nursery routine before she started. Nursery can be great for little babies but not ones who need to eat/sleep at exact times, too much disruption/distraction for the baby who thrives on routine. As the PP says though, you may have to unbend a little as the CM will have to accomodate other children too and might need to tweak baby's routine.
Good luck finding a CM your DS loves. You will relax loads once he is settled and you're back at work a few weeks though, it's just a very anxious time thinking about leaving your precious baby isn't it? I used to cry on the way home from dropping DD at nursery, now I take her when I'm on annual leave cos she loves it so much!

Jazzie I agree that if you're not happy with the nursery a cm would be a much better option. It's so important that you feel that your childcarer is making every effort to meet your child's needs but I also feel that it is unrealistic to expect that a nursery will be able to stick to a strict routine- I'm a cm and all my mindees have started with me as babies 4mths- 9 mths and although I make every effort to maintain a routine even cm's can't guarantee it. For example I'm out on the school run 8.30-9.45 (2 separate school drops) then usually at playgroup/ park/stay and play till 11.30 when we have lunch then naps 12-2 ( not all the children sleep for the full 2 hrs obviously). My own baby is 7 mths old and sleeps in his sling or buggy in the morning then cot for lunchtime nap and is a happy, contented little baby without a strict routine. At 6 mths old they can adapt and I think you may need to accept that whoever you choose to care for your baby may not be able to stick to your routine as we have to take all the childrens needs into account. Hopefully you'll find a cm who only has school age children and so can devote all their time to your baby but otherwise I think only a nanny would be able to guarantee it! Don't mean to be harsh or dismiss your established routine as you obviously want the very best for your baby and not eating or sleeping at nursery is not good at all!

I have a amlost 8mth old and was looking for childcare a few mths ago ready for when he is 9mths old and I go back to work I looked at both nurseries and childminders and chose a childminder for these exact reasons and my baby doesnt have a set nap routine other than a 45mins nap in morning some time and a 2hr hap around 1/2pm but happy for childminder to fit his naps into their current routine and I will continue at home, but wanted a home environment for him however we have chosen 3 days childminder then he will do 1 day at nusery also from when he is 1yr old.

good luck with childminder hunt.

If you are supplying food then they should be able to feed him earlier. Is it a big/busy baby room?

Ask to see his keyworker to discuss how it's going so far - find out from her what is practical/possible to them to do in terms of routine. Then I would try to match it as closely as possible at home - if he's going to be spending most of him time at nursery then it makes sense to make that his routine.

If you want a bit more compromise then I think a childminder will be the way to go - they have fewer children and only one under 12 months at a time, so are better able to accomodate individual needs.

Have you talked with his keyworker and made sure they have a written copy of his routine?

Ask them how bottles are prepared and establish if it could be offered to him as per the routine.
Food may be done by the kitchen staff, so may need to be at a time suitable to the nursery. If food is supplied by you and prepared by babyroom staff, then it could be given as per the routine I would have thought - or at least close to the routine. Talk with the roomleader about timings of things - babies in my view would usually be fed milk on demand, solids may be more at a scheduled time.

I think you have to accept with a nursery that children have to fit into nursery routines to an extent. With babies under 12 months they should try as far as possible to stick to their sleep times though.

If lunch is at 12, practically they won't be able to get him into bed before 12.30.

I think the best thing to do would be to find out what the nursery routine is and then replicate it at home, so he only has one routine.

Not usually possible to give food at a different time, but they should be able to accomodate his naps a bit better. What time do they have lunch? Maybe ask them to put him down straight after.

For what its worth my dd went to nursery when she was about a year - she never slept as long as she did at home (I think the environment is probably more stimulating, more noise etc,) and on her days with me slept longer and that was fine. But as she got used to her carers, the routines etc it also got better, so as he is only there two days a week you will need to give it some time>
I dont think you are damaging him. Trust your instincts, do you like the nursery, do you like his main carer, do you think that he will be happy there .... to be honest when i took my dd to nursery for the first week, i was really depressed and thought i had made a mistake .... we moved, and my dd is in a new nursery, she speaks longingly of her old one, and misses it terribly!

You can of course speak to the staff about his routine, and see if they can compromise, its early days and maybe they are just happy he is settling and letting him lead the way ...
hugs to you, its hard leaving your baby ....