So annoyed - bosses are so tight!!

THere is no reason to assume from the get go they won't pay your NI and other people will, particualrly if the guy is already an employer, he will know what his obligations are, maybe more than other people might. It's just as plausible that it is because they know how expensive the add ons are in terms of tax and NI, and they are used to employing other people who don't require lunches etc, that they are being resistent to your requests to these. In any case, the OP hasn't said anything about tax/ni here and non payment.

Precisely becuase it's a recession I think you need to consider your position carefully before concluding you can't reach terms with them. Are you in a good employment market for nannies where you are?

It doesn't sound like a picnic, don't get me wrong.

At 30p per mile you will be paying to take her child places.
I had this problem with a previous employer who first said I wouldn't need to use my car - this then changed and they gave me a tenner here and there which never covered anything! I now make sure I get everything sorted out before I start working and as you are just at the start of this job then i'd try to sort it all out now before they (and you) fall into bad habits.
Tell her that you charge 40p per mile and that is that. She has to understand that you aren't doing her a favour that you are providing her with childcare!
I don't know if you can do much about lunch, it is slightly unconventional but it can be good for a child to see an adult eating the same as them to encourage them, see it as a proper meal time etc - perhaps put this to the Mum?

I think AofE has a point - but more so I do think they didn't research having a nanny.

Providing meals and drinks for a nanny is absolutely standard. And paying you £1/hour less than the going rate is what as a gross %?

I really think these people sound like trouble. To future employers you say 'once I started the job it was clear we had different ideas - for example they reneged on the agreed mileage, in my first week of work - and I thought it better to leave sooner rather than later, before the child/ren and I got too attached to each other, which I felt would make the inevitable change of nanny very difficult for him/her/them. '

This is what trial periods are for, after all.

"Walk. We're in one of the greatest recessions since the late 1920's, no one is a walking charity case..... "

The OP should look for another job by all means if she is unhappy but given the recession I'd hardly think just walking out is a good idea.

I presume you would be cooking lunch for the child, so how would your boss know if you cooked enough for you and their child?

Nannying in my view can often involve a bit of give and take on both sides. Sticking to things rigidly I don't feel works that well - nanny won't use the dishwasher because it has their bosses coffee mug in it, only doing child's washing when there is space in the machine for some adult items as well (if parents don't mind them washed at the same time).

This sounds like hassle from start to finish. Wealthy people typically lack 2 things: Time and patience. Your NI contributions will not be paid and you will regret taking the appointment -plus you will feel unprofessional from walking away due to basic economics.

You may also need to check out your car insurance policy.... 'business use' costs more.... and if you have a prang with the child, they will crucify you if it's not 100% perfect.

Walk. We're in one of the greatest recessions since the late 1920's, no one is a walking charity case..... "fair pay for a fair day's wage"....

OP - playing devil's advocate you could say that you should have checked out you were both on the same page on these points with them before accepting the position. Particularly given that you?ve presumably nannied before.

I do understand your frustration though.

But the HMRC set the mileage rate and it's 40p/mile for using your own car. If they aren't prepared to pay you that, then why should you use your car to ferry their child around?

If you're their first nanny then they'd probably not be aware of normal arrangements with food and so forth. And lets face it nannying is pretty unusual in that some food is often provided - I couldn't expect my employer to give me a sandwich.

For the mileage it may be worth working out the cost of petrol per mile and then having an honest conversation about what running the child around will cost you and how you can't be out of pocket. At the same time you could also run through what is normal re food and expenses. Ultimately they are your employer here and just because certain things would be normal with others doesn't mean they have to.

But in terms of how much you perceive they make, frankly it is neither here nor there.

As long as you haven't made a habit of leaving jobs quickly, then one short job wouldn't be an issue, IMHO - you can explain that they were not adjusted to being nanny-employers and that you couldn't deal with it.

(but I would be inclined to give them a chance - and please don't assume that they are "loaded" and that money is no object)

I claimed back my business mileage from 1 job and it seemed to be the full amount which came back. I can't remember whether it was because it took about 2 years to process and I'd half forgotten I'd claimed but it seemed a lot! They did send me a nice letter which multiplied miles claimed by 40p and subtracted that figure from my total earnings but I don't think I cared how they'd done the calculation at the time given that they were sending me cash!

The lunch thing seems particularly mean and unfriendly, especially as food on duty is absolutely standard in nannying.

I also think that although they seem well-off, it sounds like they are over-stretching themselves to afford you. It could be a nightmare, late pay, bounced cheques etc.

If you're leaving within your probation period just tell future employers that you weren't a good fit.

receipts for everything - that will be fun... dear toddler group tin, please give me a receipt for that £2 I just put in your slot.

I would wonder what has got her back up - have you had to complete any payroll paperwork, such as a P46? Did you agree a Gross salary?

As for them having to stretch themselves - they're absolutely loaded
You surely don't know details of their financial situation - you have no idea how much debt they may have, or the business has.

If you were happy the 30p a mile wouldn't be a huge thing. You can claim the difference from the taxman.

I don't think you claim the difference. If I read it right, you can claim the difference in tax, so presuming a lower rate tax payer than it's 20% of the difference.

HMRC: Mileage says Tax Relief, not a refund.

This info from HMRC says "your employee will be able to get tax relief (called Mileage Allowance Relief, or MAR) on the unused balance of the approved amount"

P87 would be the form to use for making a claim. Having just looked at it, it has not yet been updated for new the 45p figure.

I'm not an accountant but this is how I currently read it. In the past I may think I interpreted this differently but having read around the subject a bit I now feel it's relief of the tax element, not the mileage rate itself.

As Clarnico said, make SURE she is paying NI and tax! Rich tight people are the worst of all!

It sounds like it might be teething problems - bear in mind that if they have never had a nanny before then it is a huge outgoing to adjust to (and just because they appear well-off doesn't mean they actually have any disposable income to speak of - you should be wary of making assumptions).

Not sure what I would do about the lunch thing - maybe point out that if you have to bring your own lunch (as opposed to making something for both LO and yourself) you could reasonably expect to have a lunch hour to eat it in - which is clearly not going to happen. On the petrol thing it would be a straight "that is the going rate. If you don't want to pay that, it's fine, but it means I won't be using my car to go anywhere with LO".

If the job works in terms of hours, etc then I would think it is worth another try - if this does in fact turn out to be indicative of their attitude and not just them adjusting to new nanny-employer status, then give notice.

Sounds like she wants an au-pair! Cheap and willing. I would try and find another employer, but the 30p a mile is a joke and she had the cheek to knock you back £1!
Watch out she does not expect you to do lots of other chores that are not related to childcare.
You need to value yourself better.

Run.

Tight people are a fucking nightmare.

Is she going to pay tax and NI? Are you sure?

The only thing you can rely on is the question of whether what you're being paid is the market rate for the area, and whether what you're asking for in mileage and the kitty is standard for the role or not, not what it 'appears' they can afford.

It sounds like she's got her back up for some reason. They could well be having some financial pressure she can't/doesn't want to disclose.

Just tell her wrt the kitty, it's to cover activities you do with the children - either things she asks you to take the child to or activities that you plan. She can either get a load of stuff in or you can pay for it and leave receipts - it's her choice.

It also sounds like she needs a reality check. I'm assuming you're her first nanny?

I would start looking looking around for another job - they don't sound very nice people - how mean over lunch and not to pay 40p per mile (especially with the cost of fuel and insurance these days)

at the lunch issue and her attitude! I think you better find another job.
You will probably have problems with them and not only money related issues. She doesn't sound very nice person.

If you were happy the 30p a mile wouldn't be a huge thing. You can claim the difference from the taxman.

But the not feeding you at lunch and bargaining down your salary, by potentially £50 a week, does inducate that they're either very inexperienced, haven't researched things and are stretching themselves to afford a nanny or that they're very money-conscious. Either way I doubt they'll give you a rise! Especially not of £1/hour (gross or net incidentally?).

What are your arrangements for kitty expenses?