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Original poster

Could I hire SIL as a nanny in my own house?

29 replies

MrsGruffalo · 03/04/2011 16:52

That's about it really..... has anyone else done this?

How do you organise a contract/tax etc?

Thank you :)

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nbee84 · 03/04/2011 21:43

Sounds like you've thought it through and will be able to seperate work & family. I hope it works well for you Smile It will be nice for SIL and your son to have a special bond.

Original poster
MrsGruffalo · 03/04/2011 21:27

Thanks nannynik - will definitely consider the food issues and have a chat with her every now and again to make sure we're on the same page.

Yes, I'll be encouraging them to go to NCT group, the park, playing in the garden so will have a think about possible complications & issues.

OP posts:
nannynick · 03/04/2011 21:24

x-post there. Good to read that it is something you have considered and feel would be acceptable within the family.

Would she not be going out anywhere with your DS? If you are working at home I expect you will want them to go out a fair bit, especially during the warmer months. So when talking about food, consider food outside of the home - icecream for example.

nannynick · 03/04/2011 21:21

Things like if she turns up to work late, or is often off sick, that sort of thing. It's usually something between you and the employee. As a family member though, would family put pressure on you to continue their employment, or would they let you make your own decision regarding the continued employment of her?

It probably won't be an issue. Your family may well let you make any decision you feel is right. However in some families falling out over this sort of thing may happen. Woking with family can work well, I worked in the same office as my mum for several years (though I didn't employ her, we both worked for the same employer).

Have a contract. Operate as if she was like anyone else caring for your child and it will probably all go well.

Original poster
MrsGruffalo · 03/04/2011 21:20

Maybe I could hide the TV remote (!)

I will be working from home, so will be around if she has questions; will be able to hear the TV if it's on; will maybe join them for lunch time..

I can't imagine her feeding my DS 'naughty' foods as I will be providing all the food necessary... why would she need to find anything else? (This childcare arrangement will only be for about a year, between baby 1 and baby 2, so DS won't be at the stage of asking for anything toooo unhealthy I hope!)

But I appreciate the comment, and will definitely talk to her about it first

If she turned up late regularly I'd put her on a warning, and I'd ask DH to have a word too. If it happened a lot I'd have to explain nicely that I needed someone more reliable... I'd have to be polite but firm and I think this would be acceptable within the family (i.e. it shouldn't create bad feeling)

OP posts:
nbee84 · 03/04/2011 21:11

You need to think about how you would deal with things if she didn't follow your instuctions ie. too much tv, feeding him foods you had asked to be restricted etc.

How would you deal with things if she turned up late quite regularly, took a sickie etc

Much harder to deal with when your employee is family imo.

Original poster
MrsGruffalo · 03/04/2011 21:02

nannynick, my SIL is my husband's half sister, so would be my DC's Aunt...

Re: treatment of employee, I would treat her as I would treat any other Nanny
i.e. we will agree holiday dates/half rates etc as the contract states with 3-4 weeks notice......will not tolerate lateness etc

In terms of more personal disagreements....I'm not sure. I'm trying to come up with possibilities....do you mean discipline?
My DS is 5 mths so I'm not expecting that to be an issue yet. And as he gets older I will let her know what we tolerate, and how we would want her to deal with tricky situations.

I will be clear about what he should eat (she will be preparing food in our kitchen so shouldn't be an issue) and about where she can take him (baby groups fine, swimming is a no)r

What kind of issues should I be considering?

Thanks for all the feedback :)

OP posts:
nannynick · 03/04/2011 21:01

They may be the child's aunt - I don't know, it gets confusing to me. Anyone know this family tree stuff?

ohnoshedittant · 03/04/2011 20:56

SIL would be the child's aunt (unless they're not married and it's brother's girlfriend for example)

Clarnico · 03/04/2011 20:42

Er, surely MrsG's SIL is her child's aunt?

Or possibly technically not if the SIL is the partner but not actual wife of MrsG's sibling?

nannynick · 03/04/2011 20:33

Childcare Act 2006 defines a relative as:
?relative?, in relation to a child, means a grandparent, aunt, uncle, brother or sister, whether of the full blood or half blood or by marriage or civil partnership.

The legislation regarding childcare vouchers may have a different definition but I expect it's similar, if it's even defined at all as it may rely on the Childcare Act 2006 instead.

So the sister in law of MrsGruffalo is what in relation to the children? Not one of the things listed above, are they?

Not that it matters as MrsGruffalo isn't going to be using childcare vouchers. However it may be useful to note for if an insurance company asks if they are a relative or not. Insurance company can be told that they are not a relative under Childcare Act 2006 definition, though are part of wider family.

MrsGruffalo - I feel you need to consider how you will treat your employee and how they will expect to be treated. They are not a close relative but if you and then have a disagreement would close family members get involved?

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 03/04/2011 18:52

Well it would matter as they'd be on 3 months notice to improve or they could be deregistered, but as OPs company doesn't offer vouchers it doesn't matter.

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:45

it says on here that ofsted registered CMs can care for family members

however there is a lot involved to being an ofsted registered CM... lots of legal hoops and beuracracy that needs to be in place and procedures etc that have to be followed.

They will have to folloew EYFS, although i guess it doesnt matter if they are officialy rated as poor or unsatisfcatory or whatever its called does it? As you wont care if they havent got policies for this and for that, and for other stuff!

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 03/04/2011 18:41

Standardised hours, 4 days holiday gives (28/5 * 4) 22.4 days paid holiday inclusive of bank hols. You can round up, either to 22.5 or 23 days but can't round down.

Like blondes I'd be wary if using a family member though. How woukd you word your disciplinary procedure/deal with issues?

Also would she be able to get insurance to cover her (anyone know?) as she's caring for family? Even if you say you wouldn't sue, if something happened amd she had insurance it would be a potential financial safety net for a child who needed extended care.

Original poster
MrsGruffalo · 03/04/2011 18:35

My company doesn't offer childcare vouchers, so that won't make a difference for us, but thank you for mentioning it nannyl

OP posts:
Clarnico · 03/04/2011 18:30

Thanks!

I still wonder what the thinking is though.

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:23

not sure what happened to link, but its still there to see!

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:22

on www.childcare-vouchers.net/parents/faq/can-i-use-vouchers-to-pay-a-family-member-to-look-after-my-child-in-mine-or-their-homes.aspx www.childcare-vouchers.net/parents/faq/can-i-use-vouchers-to-pay-a-family-member-to-look-after-my-child-in-mine-or-their-homes.aspx it states that inland rev does not let them be used to pay family..... only exception is if a family member runs a nursery and the child attends on same Ts & Cs as other children at the nursery.

Clarnico · 03/04/2011 18:21

Hmmm..interesting...I wonder why - perhaps it's because then one partner would claim vouchers for the at-home-with-the-kids-partner, or do some dodgy deal with a family member?

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:18

Im pretty sure you cant.

However i might be wrong.... But im sure i have read (in some official document type thing about getting registered) that you cant.

Clarnico · 03/04/2011 18:16

nannyl is it the case you can't claim vouchers for family members then?

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:15

as of 6 April mileage rate has gone up to 45p per mile (for first 10,000 miles a year)

nannyl · 03/04/2011 18:14

you can but wont be able to use childcare vouchers to pay her. (even if she is ofstead approved / registered etc!)

hogsback · 03/04/2011 17:30

You can pay up to 40p a mile for mileage, if you pay more the employee will have declare it to HMRC as anything over 40p a mile is taxable.

Clarnico · 03/04/2011 17:19

I think mileage is about 45p a mile - or is it 40p?

It's a standard amount that takes into account wear and tear etc. Make sure SIL has the correct insurance.

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