Is it reasonable to ask a childminder for a reference? Childminder withdrew offer of a place when I did.

NickNacks - I know what you mean

I should have listened to my intuition, when one set of parents first came to visit, I didnt sadly, I felt sorry for them and took them on.
I no longer care for their children, after one incident/accident too many.

moogster I don't understand your point at all. I might be being a bit thick but surely if the current parents give consent there's no problem? Certainly other parents have been happy to talk to me when I've phoned them about a CM.

Very very odd

personaly i wouldnt leave my child with someone who was unhappy for me to have an informal chat with anyone about their service.

would wonder what they were hiding

Personally, I'd be a little wary of letting a prospetive customer speak to a current parent. It could be seen as a potential safeguarding issue. After all, the prospective parent is a stranger wanting to diretly speak to the parents of hildren in their charge.
I'm more than happy to provide written referenes from former clients and possibly a written one from a current one but wouldn't give out a parents number or enourage direct contact..

Sounds like a misunderstanding to me. If you have been in discussions for some time and then only raised the subject of talking to another parent at the eleventh hour as they saw it, just as you were supposed to be signing contracts, perhaps they had the impression you were stalling or trying to keep your options open. I'm not suggesting that's the case, just how it might look from the CM's side. It could also be that they have had bad experiences before with parents procrastinating then letting them down; or maybe they had someone else lined up waiting on your decision and decided to offer them the place instead - a bird in the hand and all that.

Like everyone else, I would be very eary of a CM who got annoyed at being asked for references. I am of the opinion that if you are about to entrust your dcs with anyone, you are entitled to know as much as possible about that person.

I think it is probably good news that she is not going to have your Dcs actually!

Just let it drop and don't respond to the email. The regulator I don't feel will be able to do anything, there isn't any rule of which I'm aware which states that a childminder has to provide a reference to a prospective customer.
The childminders ability to "work with parents" is possibly lacking rather a lot and they won't get much work if they don't do things to reassure prospective customers.

SooooCynical All complaints are on the insoection reports which can be found online.

anewyear Sorry wasn't clear- I meant i wish could ask parents for references about them, to verify their good characters! I've had some dreadful ones who have been spoken abusive language to me (in front of children), not paid a left owing more than £600 (in arears too so I had actually worked it) and generally just to see if they would be the sort of people i would want to work with.

My childminder was most insistant that I checked her references.
They sound very odd.

I would give Ofsted a call to be honest as it makes me feel a bit uneasy the more I think about it.

When I was looking for nurseries I rang the council to see if there were any complaints registered against the nursery (naively thinking there would be some sort of public record). They told me the only way to find out was to ask the nursery manager directly which I did. She was delighted (and despite it being a well established nursery) told me I was the first parent to ever have done so.

I did check the complaints book but her reaction told me more than I needed to know. I would be seriously concerned about a childminder giving this sort of reaction.

Another take on this is that if theyve not be CM's long prehaps they havents got references to show you with regards to childminding?
Although saying that I dont see why, if they are minding a child/children already, they couldnt ask the other parent/s to have a quick chat wih you..
does seem a bit odd

Nick Nacks - I have refrences from parents..
I also have glowing Parent Questionaires that I can show prospective parents

As a CM I would be more than happy to provide references, written or verbal.

Just wish I could ask the parents for references in return!

I agree, lucky escape. My old CM was very keen for me to check out her references. If you thought they would be positive you would be keen for people to see them wouldnt you?

I'm of the 'better for both sides to get a reference' way of thinking.

You may find, from a reference, that though a CM may be utterly lovely and seem ideal, that for one or two reasons they aren't for you. We all have our dealbreakers - what's fine for most people might not be great for you.

Getting a reference from a current parent also can 'protect' the CM too - because it offers the prospective parents more info than the CM can provide, it sheds more light/adds a new angle. I think this can iron out difficulties or anticipate potentially problematic issues early on.

So I find their attitude very odd, OP. I think it sounds like they have something to hide too.

I know you can't say who these cm's are but can you say which county you are in as I am sure there are more cm's happy to let you know of their availability and to give you references. Good luck with search.

Ii have written references off all my parents which I am proud to show to prospective parents and they are more than welcome to talk to the parents direct. Hmmmmm - strange

very, very odd

I would have no problems with letting new families speak with current families (with permission from the current families obviously).

They must have something to hide

Think a lucky escape and a bit of a worry.

Definately a lucky escape!

Bizarre and not doing their reputation any good. The best CMs come through word of mouth so if they don't want you talking to existing clients that strikes me as unusual. Most CMs are happy for their clients to evangelise about them!