can't believe nanny has just done this. Help before I self combust with rage.

Message withdrawn

And how are you today?

might be worth giving her a ring to see if she is still available, mp.

anyway I'm off to bed - hope you manage to resolve this! I had to sack a nanny once - we had her for 4 weeks, first two weeks we were on holiday and we spent the whole time running around after dd while she lay on a towel reading a book (and I was 7.5mths pregnant). Then when we got home, about a week later I woke up at 4.30 to go to the loo to find her JUST coming home after a night out, pissed. She was meant to be on duty (sole charge, full time) at 7am!!!
Had an agonising 2 days discussing what to do with dh - finally heard that a nanny's sister (who I never met) was between jobs for 3 months. sat her down and fired her, with no notice (3 days to move out), paid her off because I didn't feel like the fight, and the new nanny started on the Monday. She was a fantastic godsend and it worked out brilliantly. Couldn't understand, looking back, why I hadn't sacked her after the holiday!!!!

You have to have at least one nanny=related disaster in life, otherwise you aren't a proper mummy

£8 is what she gets, so I suppose it is a similar rate.
She was just very jolly, kind, mad about children, has lots of plans for farms and music groups and even took both children to a little party last week (organised by another nanny), which ds loved (hard to say about dd, but she is apathologically social creature).
And she couldn't stop praising their intelligence, good looks, charm etc, which always makes you warm to a person, I find.

ooooh aloha she sounds good!

I think a loving fun personality (backed up with refs and some experience) is worth any number of qualifications, personally

oh dear, I'm sorry! but glad it helped crystallise your feelings!
You could always phone a good agency and tell them you need some emergency cover for a couple of weeks until you sort someone out... it will cost you a bit but you should end up with someone nice and reliable on your doorstep on monday morning who can give you some breathing space to get back into your job and find someone permanent. try imperial nannies and tinies - I mention them because they are good and they also have big maternity sections and quite often maternity nurses are also nannies and like to fill in 2 or 3 weeks between jobs with emergency nanny care. And also then you won't worry about someone dropping the baby
also do CAT orangina (my sister!) - her nanny is wonderwoman and anyone related to her must be worth an interview...!

best of luck.

I don't want to speak to soon, but have just hired an unqualified but quite experienced woman of 24 to look after dd (8months) but owing to an inset day at nursery she looked after ds (four) as well last week (I also work at home) and she was so lovely with them both and she charges £8 an hour, which is the going rate and I'm in London. Ds told her he loved her!

And three year olds are lovely and such fun! How DARE she ignore her, bore her, and then punish her for being ignored and bored? Your poor dd. There are any number of lovely, possibly less qualified, fun nannies out there who will do 50x more things with your dd than you could ever dream up, and be GREAT for her self-confidence, not the opposite!

Sorry again, really feel outraged on your and your dd's behalf

motherpeculiar - I've had a lot of very good nannies over the last 8 years. I can promise you that if this nanny is favouring the baby over the 3 year old now, it will not improve and is not acceptable. I can promise you that if the nanny is not thinking up interesting and varied activities for the 3 year old now, it will not improve and is not acceptable. If the nanny does not know how to handle a bored 3 year old having a tantrum (and I'd have thought the perfect solution was to take her to the park and let off some steam, FFS), she will not improve and it is not acceptable. And if the nanny thinks that a 3 year old needs to be punished by being left on a step by herself, with her unaware father on the other side of a closed office door, while the nanny goes to the park with the baby, then she shouldn't be a nanny.

Sorry to be so unequivocal. I'd sit her down, tell her that she clearly is not up to the job, these x things have completely undermined your belief in her ability to cope, she herself has admitted that she is unable to cope, you are letting her go with immediate effect (give her to the weekend to move out if she is live in) and as a token of goodwill you are giving her one or two weeks payment.

If she wants to sue you for the rest she can try, but she probably won't be successful (document all of this and the previous incidents) and I expect she won't bother.

Sorry not being very constructive

I just hate to think of kiddies getting treated like this, it really riles me up! I would have frogmarched her to the front door and helped her out with my foot up her arse!!
I know I sound extreme, but how must that child feel, being ignored and left behind.
And me that didnt like kids (then I had them)!

mp - when you feel awful about confronting her, just think of DD1 and how unfair it is that her nanny is doing this to her, and that will strengthen your resolve.

I had an au-pair who did this - totally ignored DS, found him a PITA, but adored DD and was brilliant with the house, I liked her, etc. But in the end, the fact that my little DS was suffering and being marginalised in his own home by his own carer whom he was trying to please and wanted some positive attention from, made it impossible for me to carry on feeling positive about her.

hoolagirl - I think it is a bit of a big leap to say that because she left DD on the step when DH was working at home (wrong I agree) that she would do it when no-one was at home. I would be extremely unhappy that my 3yo had spent 2 days without any trips out or any activities sorted out by the nanny. No wonder she is playing up, she must be bored.

MP - you've given her the second chance once already!

Time to get tough - and I know how tricky that can be!