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Original poster

can't believe nanny has just done this. Help before I self combust with rage.

114 replies

motherpeculiar · 26/10/2005 14:22

some of you may remember I had a few teething probs with new nanny a while back - we had a review and she seemed to have taken on board what I said and be getting better. We have been feeling quite happy with her in general.

However DH has just phoned from home - he is working from home today - it is my first day back in the office to tell me that nanny has just left the house with DD2 for a walk in the park, BUT LEFT DD1 AT HOME
Dh has now put her watching cbeebies while he tries to get on with work

wtf?????

She is contracted to look after both kids. Ok DH is at home and she mentioned this to him beforehand (but he thought she was joking, and just using this as a ploy to get DD1 to hurry and get ready) but this is outrageous.

Any ideas on an approach to take? I am tempted to call her mobile and find out what the hell she is thinking of but DH doesn't want any confrontation until we have DD2 safe and home.

DD1 can be slow to get ready to go out and difficult (she is three afterall) but surely nanny needs to find strategies for this rather than just leaving her behind in the house.

I have to admit, I am completely gobsmacked. If we had cover I think I would fire her today for gross misconduct.

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Original poster
motherpeculiar · 02/11/2005 10:21

ginso - you may be right about the gross amount I am not sure - I worked it out myself as roughly between 11 and 12 pounds - but ours was a nanny share so we weren't getting benefit of a full tax allowance iyswim

wrt tips - god I don't know - work out in advance what is really important to you (in our case as it turned out that nanny had enough energy to deal with lively DD1) and ask questions about that in a million different ways n the interview. Tryto make sure candidates meet your kids and be guided by how they interact, the kind of effort they make. Check refs but by no means think that because someone gets a glowing reference they will be perfect for you. Build in 3 months probation to any contract. Ensure nanny focusses more on relationship with older child at the start if the younger is too young to tell the difference.

good luck

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ginso · 02/11/2005 09:19

ps had worked out that £7 ph net was c. £9.60 gross (and had that confirmed by Nannytax).... have I missed something?

ginso · 02/11/2005 09:18

Well, I have certainly learnt a lot reading all this. I am about to interview for a nanny this morning, and am a bit nervous about the switch - ds1 is in nursery and ds2, who is 8 months, is starting there next week, but think I need a nanny to take stress of commuting away. However reading your comments makes me a bit worried. Any tips (not that there aren't loads in this experience!)

uwila · 01/11/2005 15:11

Well, I don't suppose it's much consolation, but it certainly confirms your decision to let her go. Seems you've had a babptism by fire into the world of nanny employer.

On another (happier) subject, my nanny took some pictures of her nanny diaries for you. Now I just need to work out how to get pics from digital camera into computer and I'll e-mail them to you... that is if you are still interested.

orangina · 01/11/2005 15:01

Ooh MP, that is maddening! She's taking the piss. Would be tempted NOT to just let her go with all the nice terms you have agreed, but have a few serious words... if she can't even be bothered to do the basics during her notice period, perhaps you can let her go with NO notice/holiday pay or whatever you have agreed with her.
Feel rather cross on your behalf .

bambi06 · 01/11/2005 14:51

she gives nannyies a bad name..argghh!!!

bigdonna · 01/11/2005 14:36

mp whenever the kids slept when i was a nanny i either ironed their clothes or cooked,normally for freezer.you should tell her when dd2 sleeps can she do -.i know shes going soon but she sounds so lazy what did she do in 3 hrs.

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 01/11/2005 11:37

thanks Orangina - did actually have some wine last night in relief - on a Monday too

sooner nanny moron is gone the better. she seriously pissed me off yesterday again. She came to look after DD2 only. DD2 slept for about 3 hours but even still when I got home nanny was gone and DD1's (who had been at nursery all day) room hadn't been done. No bed made, no tidying NOTHING. Says it all really. I was so tempted to call her last night and tell her not to bother coming back after all. After I felt we had been so reasonable too.

OOooooooh. Get her gone!!!!!

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orangina · 31/10/2005 17:04

MP, Sounds brilliant and hopefully relatively painless (setting aside the terrible week you had last week ....). Really hope the new one is as marvellous as she sounds. Glad the old nanny confrontation went so well and seemed so civilised. Sorry that nanny's cousin never got back to you... Celebratory glass of wine called for tonight (always tastes better than the drowning ones sorrows glass I think...!)

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 31/10/2005 16:10

thanks Pol too! and donna, will email you with revised address ( no harm in finding out about your friend, just in case)

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Original poster
motherpeculiar · 31/10/2005 16:09

thanks Uwila - fingers crossed this time!

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uwila · 31/10/2005 15:59

Oh that's great that you could find someone so fast. I'm really pleased for you.

Your comment about live and learn is SOOOOOOOO true.

bigdonna · 31/10/2005 15:48

sorry mp i am such a plonker its kevindonna

Pol25 · 31/10/2005 14:47

Hey there MP,

Let us know how it all goes!!! I do hope your new nanny is wonderful and your children both love her! Good luck and do keep us informed!

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 31/10/2005 14:34

funnily enough she did seem a bit surprised (!?) - said she was surprised to get the message to come to the meeting anyway. She admitted it wasn't working out and took it well we thought. Probably just glad to get some kind of notice period while she looks for something else. We were quite gentle with her and stressed that she had been doing a great job with DD2 (no point in being nasty we thought). DH was there when she arrived this morning and said she went out of her way to be pleasant and upbeat with him.

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bakedpotatooooowoooh · 31/10/2005 14:23

MP, so glad you're shot of her and have found replacement.
How did she take it, incidentally? Was she surprised?

princesspeahead · 31/10/2005 14:17

fantastic! all sounds really positive. best of luck with the new nanny.

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 31/10/2005 14:07

HI ? yes, we called her in for chat on Saturday morning, having deliberated long and hard over things. IN the end we decided to give her notice of four weeks as stipulated in the contract, but to reduce her days to one day a week for those 4 weeks and put DD1 into nursery on that day so that they don?t have to have anything to do with each other. So, working out her contract period she is only looking after DD2 one day a week. (and doing the MOUNTAIN of other tasks I left in a list for her I hope!). In the middle of the crisis talks between myself and DH last week we got a call from a french woman who has three years experience and is looking for an immediate start , we interviewed her Friday, took up her refs Saturday and she is starting on Wednesday. She seems to have a lot of energy (which I think is what was sadly lacking in nanny1) and is really into sport and arty/crafty things so should be well able to entertain DD1 in between running her tiny legs off! Over the initial 4 weeks (while nanny 1 works out her notice) she will be doing Weds and Fridays. I have Fridays off so will spend a lot of time with her and the DDs watching how the interaction with DD1 goes. I think this should be useful.

It was interesting to see how very differently we were interviewing this woman, having been once burnt. We will put her on 3 months probation, rather than the ludicrous 1 month I had in the last contract. You live and learn.

Orangina I did email your nanny?s cousin but haven?t heard back. BigDonna, I tried emailing you but the message bounced back for some reason.

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orangina · 31/10/2005 09:40

Hope you had a good w/e MP.... have you had the chat with your nanny yet?

uwila · 31/10/2005 09:27

So how are you, MP?

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 28/10/2005 09:28

thanks, will email you

(BTW - CAT means "contact another talker" - it is one of the links at the top of the screen. You must have unselected the ability to receive messages in your MN profile)

OP posts:
bigdonna · 28/10/2005 09:11

sorry mp i have nt a clue how to cat anyone my email address is [email protected] so you can email me

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 28/10/2005 09:00

bigdonna - could you CAT me. I tried you but you are not accepting messages.

Your friend sounds like she might be a good fit

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bigdonna · 27/10/2005 22:13

hi mp she will be on the job market soon i just dont know when.She has a car and she will be looking for part-time as she also does reflexology but she is very reliable,trustworthy and such a lovely person.Well she is a good friend of mine.

Original poster
motherpeculiar · 27/10/2005 22:01

just down the road. Hey, a smile has passed my lips for the first time in two days! Don't suppose she is in the job market at the moment?

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