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Original poster

Possible problems with nanny - a gut feeling that won't go away

28 replies

puttingmyfingeronit · 16/02/2011 21:46

I'm a name changer and having difficulties with our nanny. If you have had a nanny who didn't seem to click with your child - nothing nasty or concrete, just a lack of laughing, physical play and overt affection - what would you do? I'm concerned that our nanny is not bonding with one of my children. She has been with us for months so it is not just newness.

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blueshoes · 16/02/2011 22:43

One of my dd's friends at school has a baby brother and I felt that the nanny (who is the loveliest person in the world) would rather be with the baby, rather than my dd's friend. I guess because she was always asking my dd over so they could play together, giving her more time to focus on the baby.

Which is absolutely understandable, but I know what you mean about the feeling. Wonder if nannies by nature (not all) tend to prefer babies ...

Original poster
puttingmyfingeronit · 16/02/2011 22:09

No, I mean laughing together, like friends.

Child is 4, a girl. I think there has always been an issue, but in the beginning I thought it was a question of getting to know each other. I think our nanny is perfectly affectionate with my other child (a ve cute baby), but not with the one in question.
It's really hard to put my finger on this - today I was at home and DD was playing alone while the nanny sat at a distance and watched. In itself not an issue, but I have rarely seen them play together.

DD hasn't said too much, but she behaves in quite an extreme way around this nanny (tantrums etc) which are not the norm. I'm not sure, at 4, whether she can articulate why she is angry, but I worry that maybe she feels left out...

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nannynick · 16/02/2011 21:54

Lack of laughing? Do you want a nanny who laughs all the time? Hmm

This child she isn't bonding with... male or female and how old? Has there always been an issue, or was it ok to start with then went bad over time?

Has the child in question said anything about not liking the nanny?