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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

not happy but not sure if I'm being precious.

57 replies

QuoteCode · 10/02/2011 11:57

Long story short - ds is 3.9, been at his lovely bright busy caring nursery for a year but increasingly very anxious about leaving me. Last 4 months haven't been great, since Christmas terrible to the point of crying about it at weekends, when he wakes up, all the way there, hysterical when I leave him and although he calms down the staff tell me he is "fine" but they honestly can't say "happy".

Decided to take him out and find a CM as I think he would do better with much gentler environment, fewer children, more 1-on-1. However CMs where I live are few and far between but managed to find one near me with a vacancy. Popped over on Sat to meet her, wasn't entirely sure about the set up but she was very warm and friendly and nice with ds.

Today is first trial day. Her house smelt a bit of smoke, but not fresh smoke. Perhaps her DH smokes (he works out of home during the day). The main living room where the children are is very dark - one wall painted v dark brown, dark brown venetian blinds, down but slats open. Lights not on. Very grey rainy day today.

TV was on - we'd spoken about this on Sat and she said the TV went on after tea only. Today she said it was on because one of the mindees was a bit under the weather. It would be going off shortly, oh after Something Special, no actually after the thing with the dog because the other mindee liked that. (so it would be on for almost another hour in fact). She also said as it's ds's first day they might put a DVD on later. They probably wouldn't go out today because of the other mindee. It is wet but ds has wellies and a waterproof as well as his coat and gloves.

When I was leaving they were going to get some toys out for ds, she only had baby things out for the baby mindee. ds very upset to be left (but he always is, even with much loved gps.)

I've been out on an errand and I did do a detour past the house - TV was not on at 11am when I went past, but was on again at 11.25 when I went back.

I'm not happy about this, I am torn because this is my last option and I'm going to have to rethink work and training if I take him out and have him at home. So am I being precious or is this a bit poor?

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cakeywakey · 10/02/2011 12:13

No idea about the OFSTED regs Quote, but you're obviously not happy so you'll need to come up with Plan C. Not easy, but good luck.

Original poster
QuoteCode · 10/02/2011 12:11

erm - just rechecked her ofsted inspection. it says she can care for 5 children at any time, of which 3 can be early years. today she had 2 x 3 yo, 1 x 2 yo and 1 x baby. (ds being one of the 3yo). So she's breaking her regs? unless I've misunderstood early years.

OP posts:
Karoleann · 10/02/2011 12:10

It sounds awful. I wouldn't be happy either. Personally if it were me I'd take a couple of weeks off work, find a new nursery, spend the time getting him setled in gently.
He'll be 4 in 3 months, he'll settle down. I assume he'll be starting school in september anyway.

Original poster
QuoteCode · 10/02/2011 12:06

ok one day with a lot of TV won't hurt I guess - though I'd said specifically that ds is a telly addict so not too much please.

re the dark room, can I ask her to put the lights on?! I don't object to her decor but it's pretty gloomy with no lights esp with today's weather.

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Original poster
QuoteCode · 10/02/2011 12:05

thanks for wading through all that cakey - I didn't manage to cut it so short after all.

there are pre-schools etc but they don't operate a full day and of course not in the holidays, both of which I need to be able to work and get this qualification sorted.

tbh I think that ds is just at a point where he cannot cope with being left somewhere with other people. if I have him with me for the next 7 months it might bolster his confidence and make him more happy about leaving me when he goes to school. Or it might make him even more bonded and desperate not to leave me. Gah this is a real problem and I don't know what to do about it.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 10/02/2011 12:03

Yes, give it a few days, she may have been having an off day.

cakeywakey · 10/02/2011 12:01

I don't think that you're being precious, she's said that the TV is only on after tea and it obviously isn't. This is only one day though, give it a few more days to see how things go.

But, if your gut is telling you that this isn't the right place for your child, don't ignore it. Do you have any pre-schools near you with wrap around care? They tend to be smaller than nurseries.