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Original poster

Am I being too harsh with instant sack?? A bit long

34 replies

ducati · 26/01/2011 17:09

We have had our nanny for about nine months, and I have witnessed a steady decline in performance. First less and less kids stuff done in house, less proper cooking, then more recently, and more worryingly, my dcs (9 and 7) appearing less happy with her, and nanny being increasingly kind of stressed and sharp with them.

Because I am really terrible at nipping things in bud, hate confrontation etc it took me weeks to summon up courage to have a "Look, this is what I need you to do, and I'm worried about this etc" conversation and I eventually decided I would do it this morning.

However yesterday evening my 9 yr old revealed that he had not been picked up at end of school as explicitly directed that morning by me several times (as he was a bit anxious about friend issues that morning and I didn't want him having to hang around in playground, being taken off to homework club etc). He ended up gg to homework club because she was 20-25 minutes late. Nanny didnt mentioned this to me or DH who was there in the evening and it slipped out casually from ds. Other things kids have said suggest they are no stranger to homework club until she gets there late. (she starts 1pm so she has plenty of time to get stuff done and get to school on time)

i felt this crossed a line and i have totally lost trust in her. she had no explanation when i asked what was going on and why she was late -- just "i don't really know what to say. I have no excuse".

For some reason, instead of feeling effing furious with her that my poor boy was left standing in the playground wondering where his nanny was (well i am feeling that too), I am feeling guilty and crap mother that i didnt address the lesser issues far earlier to give her a second change, because now I don't want to give her a second chance. DH far more hard line and thinks no question she's now totally blown it and wants her out. She isn't bad, just kind of vague and a bit lazy. am i being unreasonable???

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Blondeshavemorefun · 26/01/2011 18:11

YANBU!!!!

you put your trust in this nanny and she basically ignored and forgot your child Shock Hmm Sad

i would have a word with the teacher in charge of homework club to see how often your dc are going there

but yes i feel this would issue a SEVERE written warning and also talk about it

she has no excuse, what on earth was she doing to forget your 9yr? Hmm

nannynick · 26/01/2011 17:45

Was failure to collect a child from school in the Gross Misconduct section of the contract? I expect not... therefore I would have thought that disciplinary procedure should have been followed, thus a written warning. If all trust is loss, then you could just terminate the contract with notice (thus paying for the notice period).

Based on what you have written, your nanny may be able to bring a claim for Wrongful Dismissal as the case I feel would hinge on if failure to collect a child from school on time would be considered to be Gross Misconduct or not. I feel your children were not significantly at danger as there was a homework club provision.

Yes, trust is gone. So you may well feel that you can no longer have this person care for your children. That therefore means the contract should be terminated but following the correct procedure for doing so, which I feel based on the information presented would mean paying in leiu of notice.

The question "What Is Gross Misconduct?" comes up time and again on here and I don't think there is a simple answer to it. My view is that you should write in the contract as detailed as possible reasons you feel would be considered to be Gross Misconduct so that an clearer picture can be seen as to what level of offence is Gross Misconduct, vs what is just misconduct.

nannyl · 26/01/2011 17:44

I understand you must be FURIOUS with your nanny.

I think the issue is is this gross misconduct?
because unless she is guilt of gross misconduct you have to go down the verbal warning / written warning / dismissal route.

i have no idea wether its gross misconduct or not, but its not acceptable regardless.

Rudgey · 26/01/2011 17:28

I was a nanny for 8 years and now have my own children so can advice from both points of view. Being late for your DS is totally out of order especially when there is no reasonable excuse for it. If I were in this situation I would arrange a meeting with her and yourself where you can sit down calmly and find out she still really wants to work for you. If so then you must be very clear with her what you will and will not tolerate. BUT if you have a gut feeling that things are not right then I would talk to her and say you feel the situation is not suitable for you anymore. There are better nannies out there. Your DS is deserves to be looked after by someone who cares about their job. Good luck.

Original poster
ducati · 26/01/2011 17:27

thank you for replies. i've been in such an emotional turmoil , no sleep etc i have not even thought of legalities. we have lengthy contract -- imagine most things covered.....will check.

i am so hopeless at nanny management. i so should have got to grips with things earlier. If you are like me, do take note and sort stuff out as soon as it happens

OP posts:
earwicga · 26/01/2011 17:20

Surly you have a contract? I would want well shot if I paid somebody to collect my child and they were 25 minutes late, but is it covered in the employment contract? If so, then get rid.

caspered · 26/01/2011 17:18

I'm afraid I am more hard line, trust gone, job gone! GOD I'm hard Grin

drinkyourmilk · 26/01/2011 17:17

I would give her a written warning.

caspered · 26/01/2011 17:16

No you are absolutely not!!! whatever the reason and/or background the minute you loose trust in the person who is looking after your children they have to go in my opinion. If something ever happened to them on 'her watch' you would never forgive yourself!