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Original poster

issues with new nanny - how to approach it?

26 replies

motherpeculiar · 04/10/2005 20:15

she works for me two days a week. we have a contract and we are paying well (I think) plus all her taxes/NI etc.

initially I had been looking for a mother's help, and this was the ad she responded to. We discussed it in interview and I explained that I also wanted help around the house, where possible. in the contract the job is called mother's help and I stipulated her responsibilities as looking after kids, keeping their stuff organised/tidy, making their beds etc and then helping around the house. the referee i spoke to (family who have her 3 days a week) said she had a marvellous work ethic and receommended her without reservation

she has been with us 3 weeks now and so far has left the house on more than one occasion laving the kids toys scattered around, she has only tidied their bedrooms/put away their clothes when I have explitly asked her to, and last Monday when I left her to her own devices she didn't even go up to DD1s room so the bed wasn't made or anything. In DD2s room all her nappies were left out where I had put them in a rush that morning and not put away and she had done nothing extra at all around the house.

I do appreciate that with two kids the amount of extra help I can expect is likely to be minimal and so that isn't what I am concerned about, but I really would have expected her to use her own initiative in terms of tidying the kids rooms etc.

One other thing - I work from home a lot and DD1, once the initial novelty wore off, had taken to coming up to me in my office when she is bored/upset. Nanny doesn't come after her to try to get her back, just leaves her up here with me. I appreciate it takes time for DD1 to warm to her but surely she should have strategies for this? I have also had to change DD1 twice after potty accidents while nanny is downstairs cooing over the baby (whom she seems extremely fond of)

I like this woman and don't want to have to go through the whole palaver of finding someone again. i also want to give her a fair chance. But I don't want to have to keep reminding her of stuff we had agreed and that I went to the trouble of putting in writing.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to broach this/what actions to take. I am notoriously slow to confront and tend to seeth quietly, which I know wouldn't be good in this instance.

Thanks

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Jimjams · 04/10/2005 20:21

Is she a nanny or a mother's help?

I had a mother's help over the summer, and have occasionally had one on odd evenings since (I call them that- and described that as the job- although they are employed via SS). Whenever they work I am equally involved with the children. So for example last week when someone was here she fed the baby whilst I cooked for the other 2, the she miinded ds2 and ds3 whilst I looked after ds1.

Likewise in the summer I had someone in each afternoon- she took ds2 and ds3 out whilst I looked after ds1. Apart from ne afternoon whenmy mum had ds1 (and my mother;s help had ds2 and ds3) I was equally hands on with the children.

If youa re emplying a nanny then yes- she should take full responsibility for the children/remove them from your office etc. but if you are emplying a mother's help then I think you expect too much.

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