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Original poster

Would you as a child minder want to murder me?

37 replies

Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 10:03

Managed to find a wonderful child minder... she is awesome. Left dd with her yesterday for 3 hours, dd due to do a full day friday and I start work Monday.

Work only finally confirmed my hours after chasing and chasing them yesterday. They then called at 5pm last night having changed them again and have requested overtime and shift changes in my first 3 weeks back.

Result is I can't afford to go back to work. I am going to have to resign today and work out what notice I owe them if any. I am devastated. But the only way we can manage financially is if I try to build up my work portfolio I do at home in the evenings / night and leave my day job.

Legally what do I have to pay her? And will she hate me for ever more?? Sad

Please tell me that this does occasionally happen.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Honeydragon · 09/01/2011 22:04

Thought I'd pop back... thank you for all being so lovely. The cm explained that she had taken on dd as an "extra" as I could fit her into available hours. She already has a replacement, another of my colleagues. Smile, she took the call the day after I had to cancel. Smile

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Ripeberry · 08/01/2011 20:15

Sorry it's not worked out for you, but 'managing out' is a ploy used too often by companies. I never went back to my old place of work as they told me that if I came back I would not be in the same department and would be 'demoted'
Glad I never went back as well!
Hope you find a better job and with luck, maybe this CM will still have spaces Smile

Tanith · 05/01/2011 21:45

No, my love, I wouldn't want to murder you at all. I'd want to sit down with you and look at the possibilities of you taking your employer to a tribunal for constructive dismissal, though.

I hate employers who do this to their new mums and they get away with it far too often.

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 19:27

I shall be spending tomorrow signing up for all the free activities I couldn't do now, and using afternoon naps and bedtime to organise work from home Smile

They have said that when things are better for me they want me back do at least if it all goes wrong I've not burned any bridges.

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UniS · 05/01/2011 19:02

congratulations Honey on telling your employer to stuff it. Its not so bad being a SAHP .

looneytune · 05/01/2011 18:52

Aww, that's nice to get her something. Flowers or wine would be lovely I'm sure. As for the variation, I have one in place which allows ANY of my existing children to do ANY days as long as I never have more than 4 at a time. And this was agreed when a lot were still 2, some very young 2 year olds so it can be done. But as you've resigned then it's irrelevant anyway. I hope you manage to sort something else out, that company sounds rubbish and someone else said what I thought, sounds like they wanted to cut back so made it very difficult for you to stay! :(

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 18:42

Tbh part of me is relieved to go if this is the hassle I get before I start, the variation order would only work if I could 100% be guaranteed a day - I am just totally amazed at cm, she is more than entitled to something under contract but she told she's been there done that and knows what it's like. Hence wanting to get something nice, good point about the wine, a nice bottle never goes amiss.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 05/01/2011 17:57

if you want to work then worth seeing if cm can get a variation

LisasCat · 05/01/2011 17:22

I may be missing something in all this, I don't fully understand the changes, but your employers sound like utter arseholes. In fact, it sounds like they're trying to 'manage you out', which was the phrase my boss used to use when he put staff on the worst possible shifts and gave them the crappy tasks to 'persuade' them to resign.

If it was me, I'd go back to work while you have the childminder booked, on the shifts you agreed before, and tell them that the new shift pattern can't come into force for 28 days. DD can go to childminder, you can earn one month's salary which can also be your notice period if you really can't force them to 'see the error of their ways'. I mean, what are they going to do if you walk in there on the days and shifts you had expected to be working, and then leave when you need to? It'll take them a month to sort out the paperwork to issue you with a written warning!

kkey21 · 05/01/2011 17:22

Flowers sounds lovely.....
Poor you and what a lovely Cm.

chipmonkey · 05/01/2011 17:09

Wine?

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 16:39

I spoke to her, she told me it was fine and that she understood (she is well aware what the company I work for can be like). She isn't billing me. So my next question is what do I get to say thank you at this time of year, after xmas blowouts and diets starting?

Chocolates

or

flowers?

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looneytune · 05/01/2011 16:07

Was going to suggest a variation which usually would be granted in this situation but obviously she might not have wanted to do that anyway. Anyway, I see you've sorted it now. I'm sure the CM will be fine. If it had been me, I'd have no charged anything and although disappointed, wouldn't have blamed you at all! :)

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 14:58

cm could possibly do it occasionally but would risk putting her over, but no guarantee. Basically work want me to be as flexible as I was before dd, ds was in school so I was able to juggle more. I have spoken to hr to see what we can do... they have tried their best. As of 2.30 today I am unemployed for the first time. I now have to speak to CM Sad

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Blondeshavemorefun · 05/01/2011 14:03

i would talk to your cm and see if you can come to some agreement over the 4th day - it may be that she has spaces for the 2 other days and could fit you in

how often would you work 4 days rather than 3

it may still be worth it iyswim

could mil/family help out the 4th day

how much notice do work have to give you to work the 4th day as overtime

or have i got the wrong end of the stick

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 13:35

No union, and tbf I put in a flexi request to adjust my hours from 20 to 19, they aren't being totally unreasonable in their request it is only supposed to be occasionally - but I cannot meet it financially.

They said things were delayed because of the bank holidays Hmm and they get a high level of resignations at xmas to process - suddenly I can see why.

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Ellielou02 · 05/01/2011 13:25

Can you not speak to a union? I would think if you have childcare commitments does your work not need to give you 28 days notice if they are going to change your agreed working pattern?? I might be talking out of my arse but am sure there is something. Hope you get it sorted :)

Blu · 05/01/2011 13:19

:( Really sorry work have messed you about like this.
They should have told you clearly in advance what was needed / required by them.

Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 13:11

Right have spoken to work.

The only way I can feasibly work their new request would be to pay cm for 4 days care each week, but only use 3 as they cannot guarantee on the weeks they may need me to swap I can work an extra day as overtime iyswim, as that authorisation comes from higher powers that be. That means taking an extra £110 per month of my income for "just in case".

I have to resign Sad

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Original poster
Honeydragon · 05/01/2011 11:46

I am I'm waiting for work to contact me to advise my notice period

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Mum2Luke · 05/01/2011 11:32

I would be the same as turnitup, just disappointed but its not your fault that work had changed hours which I'm sure they are not supposed to do anyway.

Don't feel too bad, just explain the situation and I'm sure she'll be ok with it, most are. I am a cm because I cannot afford to go out to work and I have a parent who I have to frequently chase for payment.

Good luck!

minderjinx · 05/01/2011 11:30

Sorry all - crossposted; just can't keep up! Good luck with whatever you decide to do Honeydragon

cinpin · 05/01/2011 11:30

Talk to her asap

minderjinx · 05/01/2011 11:25

Maybe UniS, though it would only mean paying twice for the notice period in that case, even if none of the hours booked are now needed. We also don't know if any of the hours booked would still be needed, or if the childminder is willing/able to make any further changes to hours/sessions.

turnitup · 05/01/2011 11:24

As a CM I would feel disappointed but would feel no bad feeling towards you.

Hope you sort it out.

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