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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable with my childminder

112 replies

mimosa · 22/12/2010 00:38

Today I discovered that my childminder had taken my 2 children (3 and 5) with her to do her christmas food shopping at Tescos. This was a 34 mile round trip in the snow and ice - very dangerous driving conditions. My 3 year old didnt even get out of her car - she feel asleep for the inward journey, which meant she would have been sat in her carseat for a minimum of 2 hours - so cross about that. (this then resulted in her not settling tonight - didnt get down until 9.30 which meant my night was gone) Which is why I am still up at 12.45 am
I feel that there was no education value, or fun value for my chilren and if she had asked me if it was ok for her to do this, I would have said no. Mainly on the grounds that if she had had a driving accident and hurt my children - I would have killed her with my bare hands! But also on the grounds that I am paying her (£90) a for her to look after my children - not drag them around the shops - their least favourite activity
I am so mad at her - and so is my husband - Also the children tell me another adult was in the car with them?? Who is this adult ? Have they been CRB checked.? Not happy but obviously I am a protective mum and so another perspective might help me sort my feelings out. Because at the moment I am seriously considering giving her notice. I have some other issues with her, but this could be the straw that broke the camels back - so to speak. What do other mums and childminders think?

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Original poster
mimosa · 22/12/2010 01:16

I quite understand the thing about hubby doing the shopping - I have exactly the same problem! He generally buys random ingredients but never a whole meal! But anyway, childminder could have written a list for her hubby,

The other issues I have are.......One day I was 10 mins late (I know this is a cardinal sin - however every other week I am 20 mins early) And my childminder had my kids outside sat in their coats, in the cold with their bags by their feet, waiting for me (and looking very miserable) The following week she asked me to pick them up 10 mins early......

Other issue is - she drops my son off at school and then throughout the day I am paying her £2.50 and then full rate after school pick up time at 3 - 6. My daughter attends the local montessori, and whilst she is at the montessori, I am paying full rate of £4.50 an hour. Are all these charges normal???
Its really is true that its hardly worth going to work!

OP posts:
ToffeeChristmascake · 22/12/2010 01:15

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I think it's outrageous behaviour. She is being paid to look after your children, not to do her shopping. I was a childminder for two and a half years and would never have dreamed of doing such a thing. My priority when I was working was looking after the children and ensuring they had a happy, stimulating day and were kept safe. Frankly, I was too busy looking after them to do anything domestic.

Also, if I were you, I would be livid that my children had been taken on a potentially hazardous car journey in dangerous driving conditions.

You are also rightly concerned about the other adult in the car.

If I were you, I would not take my children back to this childminder and I would look for alternative care asap.

The National Childminding Association may be able to advise you further. I think I would also consider complaining to Ofsted.

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster · 22/12/2010 01:14

There's no learning opportunities when doing the xmas shop, they are manic! Any other time then this is OK.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/12/2010 01:13

£4.50 wouldn't be outrageous IMO if it included all meals.

i agree with BALD, the supermarket is a great learning excercie but this wasn't the case for the 3 year old today was it? and yes the risk of being stuck in teh snow or crashing far outweighed the need to take someone else's dcs who you are paid to care for to teh supermarket only for one of them to sit in teh car.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 22/12/2010 01:11

I disagree with the blanket statement she shouldn't take your children to the supermarket; there are lots of learning opportunities to be had there

She most certainly should not have left a minded child with her DH unless he is a registered CM too

And driving in dangerous conditions isn't a smart idea

£4.50 per hour isn't an outrageous amount

On balance, YANBU

BelleDeChocChipCookieMonster · 22/12/2010 01:05

She shouldn't take your children to the supermarket, this isn't what you are paying her for. She knew that she was busy, she could have sent her husband or ordered online.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/12/2010 01:03

sorry that should be all FOOD and petrol costs included.

EWeatherwax · 22/12/2010 01:02

Depends what the other issues are - the snow thing is quite legitimate and I generally hate anyone shopping for me and would have a bit of a panic attack at DH shopping for me as I would need a second mortgage and while would have 12 different types of olives would not have 1 meal the kids would eat.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/12/2010 01:00

£90 for one day???

yes that is steep tbh.

my CM charged £30 for a full day for my younger son and £20 for 12noon-5.30pm all snacks and petrol costs included.

yes i think, if her husband is able to drive, she should have just sent him and stayed at home, why risk all of them getting stuck in teh snow when she could have been safe at home with your dc.

Original poster
mimosa · 22/12/2010 00:56

My 3 year old was in the car with childminder husband!
She must have been so bored. My childminder could have sent her husband to do the shopping and she could have stayed at home and done the job I am paying her to do - ie look after the children. Do you think I am overreacting? Also is £90 steep for 2 kids - bearing in mind I have to provide all food for the day from 8 am - 6 pm??
I know I have a tendancy to overreact - so I am trying really hard to be rational. In my childminders defence, she said she thought it might snow tomorrow and so didnt want to get snowed in with no food (however my reaction to that was - not my problem - just send your hubby)
Think I need to chill out with some wine.......

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 22/12/2010 00:50

she left your DD asleep in teh car while she shopped????

Ooosha · 22/12/2010 00:44

I would be livid to form what you have said, was your 3 year old in the car on her own for 2 hours?!