Nannies, would you it be a normal thing to ask

Gosh Annabel, I think that you sound much too strict with your rules. It sounds like something out of another era to me. Why on earth shouldn't your nanny accept food and drink on these occasions and mingle with the adults so long as her charges are happy and occupied?

I would go by the following principles: I would expect my nanny to behave on these occasions exactly as I would behave: graciously accept food and drink if offered and she feels like it, up to one glass on wine if she is not driving and chat appropriately to other guests. Jump in if another child seems to require assistance.
At our house, all guests are created equal: nannies, helpers, elderly neighbours, parents, ex-colleagues and so on are all offered food and drink. If anybody segregated themselves to focus exclusively on the children they had brought, I would frankly think them socially inept and they would likely not be invited again unless their children were truly fantastic and close friends of our DC.
When our nanny has helped out at our parties, I have always told her that although she is working to help herself to food and drink, including wine and champagne and to feel free to mingle if she has a chance.

Yes, I get my nanny to do this kind of thing all the time. I don't expect her to mingle with mothers tho as some of you seem to be implying. If there are other nannies there she can talk to them but otherwise I expect her to stay strictly with the children. If there is food or drink offered to the adults I don't expect her to accept that either (and CERTAINLY not alcohol). This is a work duty for her, not a social occasion.

I was in my present job for two weeks when i was asked to take the children to a party,I didn`t know any one there but people did know the children I look after and they chatted to me about the children and were generally very friendly.

I do it all the time.
Some are a nightmare. Some are lovely. It depends entirely on who is having the party.
Perfectly normal nanny duty.

I think this is normal for nannies to do this.

You might not know people but you would not if you went to a strange toddler group either.

seems completely normal and part of any nannies normal duties, so long as party is during working hours

if it falls in my working hours i do it - have been toa school mums cm - few were lovely and chat to me at gates (tho tbh some mums were very snobby and looked down on me as the 'nanny' but hey ho, im tough and tbh doesnt bother me as they are not my friends iyswim)

all depends on the hostess and other mums

but i dont see why a child should miss out on an activity/party just as mum is working

I'd check with the Nanny and see if she's up for it. Make it clear that if she'd rather not then that's fine by you.

I did know some others from the school gates. The 1st party was not long after I started a job, so didn't know anyone particularly well. It can be hard to get yourself into other peoples conversations, but you have to grit your teeth and try as it's likely you'll see the other mums regularly. A bit like when you're a new Mum and go to toddler/baby group for the 1st time, quite hard if you are not the forthcoming type. Having had a few nanny jobs over the years I've got used to it and have a few strategies - busy yourself with the children, get talking to the Mums through the children, have a stock of questions to ask the other Mums (like do you have any other dc, have you always lived round here, can they recommend any local activities worth visiting etc etc)

Don't think I've ever been asked. It would be something I would dread if I didn't already know some people there well.

Totally normal - though the last one I was asked to attend I managed to get out of as the youngest charge had chickenpox!

Haven't been to a house one, but have done a couple in halls and at soft play. All fine, spend some time with the kids, have a chat with other mum's/nannies, eat a couple of cakes .