The BIGGEST way to upset your childminder is.......

I know we can but parents can only push us so far. They can be black-listed as quite a few cms are friends and work together, I know I do and if I am full I text my childminder friends to see if they have vacancies. We also warn each other of potential people who are known to not pay on time/break contracts etc.

The parent I have moans about the nursery her other child is in, have told her I could have her as I have NVQ Level 3 Early Yrs but she wants a 'Nursery environment' for her .

I have been bullied in the past, I have rules now in the contract which she signed that if fees are not paid by end of the week I will not mind the following Monday. I think that's fair.

What about nurseries? They expect payment in advance. Why do people not moan about them?
Easy...CMs are sole traders and can be bullied that's why ...

I totally agree with both of you, how do these non-paying parents think the childminder/nurseries are supposed to operate without being paid, do they think money to buy food and resources comes by magic? They would be the first to complain if their little darlings were not being fed properly/not having any stimulation.

I am hoping to do a Foundation Degree in Early Years but because there is little or no funding at the moment I may have to pay Open University and my wages will have to pay for that and other courses that OFSTED require us to do such as Food Hygiene and Paediatric First Aid (I think OFSTED should pay US to do that but don't get me on that!! )

When my dd was at nursery, fees were payable in advance and they had a no pay, no stay policy. My parents pay weekly in advance and I hold one weeks money as a deposit to be used against non payment then I plan on implementing my no pay no stay policy for anyone who is over a week in arrears.

i work in a nursery, and it is true we do refuse to care for children who's parents don't pay up, eventually. they usually have a term to pay up, or show some kind of payment plan. but many a parent has left without notice and without paying, some people have been 3000 in debt to us, and we can't get it back. the bosses are being more firm and (UNI NURSERY) students can't graduate without paying up

I refund money when the child is ill but most of the time he is not and his mother is keeping him off for no reason, she has been in court once for this but that is between the school and her, not me. She has to pay when she decides to take a day off work and not bother phoning.

We don't work like private schools, we are more like nurseries and if they don't get paid some simply refuse to take the child until they are and I don't blame them. I have started using this and believe me they do pay when they have no choice! She was panicking but she brings it upon herself, no payment, no minding. We cms have to be strict otherwise some will walk all over us.

I find paying manually (as opposed to a standing order) in arrears makes it easier to adjust accordingly for unexpected days off for both my CM and DC. I probably wouldn't have an issue if my CM refunded me automatically and accordingly when she is overpaid (like a private school would) but she doesn't. It means I not only have to pay her in full each month but also on top of that have to refund myself when this happens. A minor quibble, but annoying nonetheless.

I'm a bit surprised OhMyLanta has an issue with paying up front - if you were to put your child into private education you'd have to pay at the start of each term, that's far more than just a month.

I am just fed up with having to ask for my money, I earn it so why can't parents pay on time? You don't go into a shop and say you cannot pay for the item once you have got to the checkout if you have no means of payment can you?

We are service providers but we also need a holiday, this morning I got woken up by minded child knocking on door!! His mother had told me he was only here Mon to Thursday (she's still not paid me for this week and part of last week ) so have planned to clean the house ready for tomoz. He's now gone to one of her friends who lives around the corner.

Right off to start the cleaning!

Sympathy with the late payment problems Mum2Luke. I've been pretty lucky in that respect (except from one leaving without notice) but the bringing of sick children is more of a problem in my view. I had one little one off Monday and Tuesday last week , brought back Wednesday clearly still quite unwell (and getting worse over the course of the day) off sick again Thursday and Friday, and now my two have both gone down with the same, and I'm just hoping it doesn't spoil their Christmas. I'd have gladly gone without the pay to spare them that, but the parents were desperate to get back to work and I do understand that too, so I'm not angry but I'm definitely sad.

That should read I have a day off tomorrow, am so fed up paying for entertaining and feeding her child with no payment!!!!

well, have had £60 of my £95 this week, am getting pretty fed up of chasing this parent for money but cannot afford to finish her at the moment. I wouldn't mind but I was only charging £20 per day as he was here from 9-4 plus £15 from last week not paid yet.

I have told her AGAIN that I am not minding her children until she pays the rest of the money, am sick to death of stupid excuses that she doesn't get paid from work till New Year's Eve - she should learn to put my money aside in an envelope before she pays for things such as JLS tickets! I think Child tax credits are for paying for childcare are they not? I reminded her she signed a contract that she was paying every Wednesday when her Tax credits went in her bank and guess what - she's lost the contract!!!! Good job am organised and keep it in NCMA locked box.

Thankfully I have day off

Tanith, just because you've "explained" to me why they do charge in advance, it doesn't mean that I have to like it or consider it justified.

You have very little idea about how I appreciate my childminder. Thanks for the clarification about things you've said being about your own personal circumstance. Your original post said nothing about appreciation about that particular point - but seemed to clearly imply that if one is buying presents, then one ought to also receive presents. I doubt my CM needs or requires presents from me, but again, like I said before, I am happy to give them on occasion, the same way I always send a thank you card when she buys presents for my DC. I don't see how that shows a "lack of appreciation".

Your point about sickness policies isn't really relevant to what I said, which was that a sickness policy ought to go both ways. As for quibbling and prevaricating, I was simply going by what you said about sick children being dosed up on Calpol. You didn't distinguish between what could be a minor ailment like teething (during which I would give my DC Calpol and still send them to a CM) or running a 40 degree temperature (during which I would give my DC Calpol and take them to hospital/keep them home with me). Rather than tell me what I do and don't think (a discourtesy that I have not extended to you or anyone else on the board), perhaps you ought to find a way to express yourself in a clearer manner - that way, such distinctions don't get lost in translation.

If I was being way too sensitive about a nappy, I would terminate my arrangement with my CM. I haven't, so I don't see why you thought I was being too sensitive. Again, I guess you are entitled to your opinions and assumptions, so I hope you'll respect the fact that I am also entitled to mine.

In everything I have said in this thread, I have referred to my own experiences and my own personal feelings, as opposed to imposing/transposing these on to other people's experiences. The CMs on here are venting about issues they have with parents and I'm venting about ... issues I have with my CM My rant does not stop them from venting, but if you would like to police the board and make decisions about what people should and should not post, be my guest - however, I hope it does not come as too much of a if I reserve the right to heed or ignore you as I choose

Why? Childminders do the job mainly (I think) because they have young children and want to actually spend time with them and look after other peoples' children.

I had no choice, I have an 8 yr old and my parents don't live locally so wasn't able to afford to go out to work as we do not get the childcare element of the tax credits and next year won't get anything.

Why shouldn't we buy a small present for our mindees? We can claim tax back as long as it is £10 and over. I like buying them something.

Never would I use a CM with their own kids they are a nightmare regarding that sickness policy. Basically it applies to you but not them. Basically daylight robbery.

And what is it about Christmas presents bah humbug. My boss would think I was mad for suggesting such a thing.

I sit here waiting to be paid, its not fair having to ask to be paid by parents is it? Have got loads to do today too.

I am supposed to be paid on a wed but it always ends up with me having to chase parents. This is why we ask for money up front OhMylanta. How do they expect us to pay for snacks etc?

Some parents are the ones who moan when we cannot have their sick children BECAUSE its spreads to other kids in our care and the child wants Mum not cm to care for them when they are poorly. We are not supposed to have sick children anyway, I have a policy for this and guidelines of infectious diseases. Schools cannot care for sick kids so why should we? I don't charge for sick children, just ones who don't bother turning up and don't bother telling me they are no coming in. The lad I mind has a very bad attendance record but why should I be blamed for that, I wait until 8.30 am, if he's not here by then then tough, am not making my son late for school.

I pay for a Christmas present for minded children, I don't expect gifts but is nice to get a thankyou.

OhMylanta, you're not being penalised: you're being treated in exactly the same way as most other parents who use childminders. Paying in advance is fairly standard, although I know some childminders do charge in arrears. I've simply explained to you why they do this. It isn't one parent who has failed to pay, it's hundreds and, as small businesses, we have to protect ourselves because we can't afford to lose that kind of money. You might be interested to know that some employers also pay their staff in advance because it suits their business to do it that way.

I explained why I thought your boss wouldn't bother to buy you a Christmas present. So you don't get a present from your childminder? That's irrelevant. Your particular circumstances are not mine or Mum2Luke's. The original comment wasn't so much about receiving presents as it was about lack of appreciation. I feel your post illustrates a lack of appreciation of your childminder rather well, despite your saying she's lovely.
All my parents at the moment are fantastic: I'm very lucky, it's not always been that way (for example, the mum who deliberately exposed my young baby to a D&V bug and who I subsequently I gave notice to). I don't need presents to know that they appreciate me because they make it clear in other ways and I can't imagine any of them coming onto a public forum, dragging up every little thing they can think of about me and venting about it. It would make me feel very unappreciated if they did.

My sickness policy is very clear to all my parents. The moan on here was about parents who deliberately dose up sick children and send them in knowing they should really be at home. That's a universal problem with types of childcare setting and schools, and not just in this country. In America, they're known as Drop And Run kids. Please don't quibble and prevaricate about minor headaches and colds - that's not the issue and you know it!

I think you are being way too sensitive about that nappy!
Your childminder thoughtfully told you your child had an explosive nappy and you needed to check when you got home. Your complaint was that she made this comment, not "my childminder didn't clean my child properly", so presumably the nappy actually was clean. So why are you even bringing it up, let alone in a thread where people are venting? The ladies on here are venting about non-payment, late payment, bouncing cheques, non-appreciation, deliberately spreading illnesses and you're venting about... your childminder suggesting you check your child's nappy when you get home

can i add that i always tell parents if my dd or dss are off sick... and not one parent has ever stopped bringing their children for that reason in my experience..

"makes me cross when cm are at baby group with their older child off school due to illness but they feel fit to take them out to a baby group hmm makes my blood boil" DMO, that pisses me off no end! Makes me so cross to see that.

ohmylanta i deff agree with you over the cm ill child she should pretend its a mindee for the day and put herself into other parents shoes if her child is ill she cant go to work

makes me cross when cm are at baby group with their older child off school due to illness but they feel fit to take them out to a baby group makes my blood boil

btw i am a childminder

I don't see why I ought to be penalised for another parent not paying. I don't really see my boss being able to get away with, "Actually, loads of people have shirked/resigned etc, so for that reason, we are going to pay you late until we can ensure that everyone pulls their weight this month"

I most certainly do not get an Xmas present from my CM. She has bought my DC one in the past, but at her own behest. As far as I am concerned, DC is still too young to understand Xmas presents and most certainly do not need one (hence why I don't intend to buy them any for at least one more year). It was lovely of her though; however, I can't remember reading somewhere that one only buys a gift to receive gifts. Do correct me if that's the spirit of Christmas giving.

I don't expect her to stay quiet when her DC is ill, but I do expect her to realise that NCMA provisions on illnesses (which I was unaware of until she showed them to me when I brought my DC in) require her to keep her own mindees off for 48 hours after her DC's last spell of vomiting/diarrhea if her DC have a D&V bug, which means she should not be expecting payment for the days as she is unavailable for work.

I most certainly tell my CM if my DC have been ill, and if she expects some leeway from me when it comes to 48hr rules, then the same goes both ways. I would not send my DC in if they had been vomiting that day, but as she seemed to be ok with a 24hr rule for her DC, I quite rightly expected that the same would go the other way - unless of course my DC have magical powers of infection that her DCs don't If you are trying to imply that if a DC has Calpol it means they are too sick to be sent in, I hope you have the same policy if you or anyone else in your household were to take any paracetamol for a minor headache, common cold etc.

I always change my DC as soon as they get back from CM's, regardless of poo explosions. However, if a CM is concerned about faeces leaking, then I don't see why a check just before the DMs pick them up is too much to do. By all means mention it, but it's still implying that there may be remnants afterward, which would mean that you actually haven't cleaned them up completely. Not the biggest crime of the century (as a DM with previously BF DC, I'm also well aware of leakages and have gone through many a whole pack of wipes for just one poo!), but it would still make me go (the same way I would go if my DH tells me the same thing when he has had DC for the day)

All this is by the by. Like I said before, I love my CM but like everyone else in my life (friends, family, colleagues, strangers etc, and myself included!), there are certain things that will always make me go . I was just on here for a reverse moan, but do feel free to raise any other points I may not have mentioned.

OhMylanta:

We expect to be paid in advance because so many parents pull a fast one and don't pay us. Read some of the comments about late payment and bouncing cheques and maybe you'll understand. I should think every childminder on here has had at least one non-paying parent of one type or another. Were we to have your luxury of a more or less guaranteed payment at the end of the month, we might not need to do this.

You say your boss doesn't give you a Christmas present - do you give them one? And their children? Like we do?

Maybe you'd prefer your childminder to keep quiet when her child has been ill like so many parents do when they send in sick children, more often than not dosed up with Calpol so we won't notice until it's too late.

My DD was 10 weeks old when one of my minded children was slipped in with an S&D bug. He'd been sick all day and night before his mum sent him and she didn't tell me because "she was busy at work" (her excuse when I challenged her, after the child himself told me).
Of course, it spread right round the other kids, inconveniencing their parents and making their families ill, too. My DD caught it and was hospitalised because she couldn't keep anything down. I will never forget sitting in the hospital with her, wondering if she was going to die.
But hey - it's essentially my job, isn't it?

I change many children's nappies after they've been dropped off only to find they're still a bit dirty from the last change. It happens however carefully they may have been cleaned at the time because sometimes faeces leaks a bit after the nappy change, especially if he or she has had an explosion. I always tell parents if it's happened on the last change of the day for precisely that reason, so they can check and bath when they get home.
Would you prefer your childminder to say nothing and risk nappy rash?

"Handing my DC over to me saying they've had a bit of a poo explosion but may have some left on them after you cleaning them, so I should probably give them a bath. That's what I always want to hear - you implying that you may not have cleaned my DC adequately"

I can relate to this one - I'm pretty sure I've said something like it! But to qualify, it's been a case of child having poo explosion minutes before pickup (or even minutes after supposed pick up time!) and I've said ideally I would have given him/her a bath but haven't had the time - you will probably want to do that as soon as you get home. There is a limit to what you can do with a handful of wipes, or even a packet full.

Parents not paying on time

giving you the sob story when u ask for your fees.

Turning up late in the morning but not contacting to let you know, so u get up at 7 in the morning when u didnt really need to get up until 9!!!

Sending kids in with fizzy juice iun the morning!!! Like i can allow your kids to drink that whilst in my care!!

Giving a mindee a birthday pressie and getting no thanks from the parents!! How ungrateful!!!

Turning up late and not giving any notice!! I have a life too you know!!!

Not signing kids daily diary, or taking yur reciept out of it. Obv you havent read it then!!! Love that you have so much interest in what your child has been up to all day, for a week!!!

ytes understand your points and of course works both ways.. just sometimes from cm point of view its all take and no give.. think we all need a holiday!!!!