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Not heard from new nanny!

60 replies

Gangle · 13/11/2010 21:02

We recently hired a new nanny to look after DSs, 2.8 and 8 months when I go back to work in December. We've been out of the country for the last few months, due back at the end of the month, and so used an agency to help find a good candidate, mainly because we are looking for a French speaker and we didn't have much success with ads on Gumtree etc and being out of the country made it harder to meet people. The agency found someone who seemed great so we spoke on the phone several times, Skyped, had a close friend meet her in London and after much thought decided to offer her the position so that we had someone lined up rather than leave it until we arrive back in the UK as that would give only 2 weeks before I go back to work. It now seems that neither us or the agency have heard from her for the last 10 days. We've emailed and phoned/left messages but no response and her mobile no longer seems to be working. Of course, she could just be on holiday but it just seems strange for her to completely drop off the radar! If we don't hear soon, i.e. by next week, then I'm thinking that I really need to look for someone else asap but what if she then resurfaces? We also paid the agency a HUGE fee for this candidate which had to be paid within 7 days of her accepting the job despite me telling the agency that I was concerned that something like this may happen. They will replace her but still! Am I panicking unnecessarily??

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StarExpat · 22/11/2010 11:13

No it was preschool 8am-3.30pm with morning and afternoon sessions or all day 8-3.30 (which are the only hours I need/ds goes to childcare anyway).

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/11/2010 10:32

oh you mean all day nursery, sorry i meant pre school

not sure if there is a all day nursery near me that teachs both

StarExpat · 22/11/2010 07:44

That's great, blondes! The 2 near me that I visited near me didn't. Tbh if they did it would have made choice between cm and nursery much more difficult.

Blondeshavemorefun · 22/11/2010 01:12

Star - yes there is one near me that teaches in both English and French

magicOC · 21/11/2010 23:35

As annoying as this all is for you, all I can say is......

You had a lucky escape Smile

Better you found out now than finding out the day she was due to start.

Good luck with the search.

StarExpat · 21/11/2010 15:02

Oh just caught up on this!
So Angry on your behalf! How horrible! Bad behaviour and very unprofessional! I'm also Angry that I felt actual concern for this poor lost girl who was just screwing you over!! People are so disappointing :(

Best of luck finding a new nanny. Agree, French lessons may be a compromise but still not nearly as good as a bilingual nanny.
Blondes, do Montessori nurseries near you teach in French? Very interesting!

Blondeshavemorefun · 21/11/2010 12:38

hows the search going? :)

frakkinup · 17/11/2010 04:50

Try ici londres for private ads and if you want details of nanny agencies in Paris who might have contacts let me know and I'll PM them to you. Did you go through Nannies Inc last time?

You could also try posting on magicmaman to see if anyone knows anyone. They have a section for English based mothers.

Terrible behaviour on her part, absolutely shocking. I hope she is blacklisted from the agency and you should definitely update the reference you contacted.

Gangle · 16/11/2010 20:51

Exactly! Will see what they send through and if we can't find anyone will have that argument with them then. Did think as I paid the money that that would be the last we'd see of it. Gutting. I think we will try for a bit longer to find a French speaker and if no joy then look at other options.

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Blondeshavemorefun · 16/11/2010 20:47

yes there are fantastic nannys out there (a few on here lol)

Agency should refund asap as they havnt found you a nanny and what happens if you find one by yourself/through another agency

you are def making things harder by wanting French speaking nanny - would you compromise and maybe send older one to a montisory(sp) nursery or French lessons ( my friends charges are half French (mb French and db English) and they go to fun French each week

Def ring ref and say what happened

Gangle · 16/11/2010 20:39

Please tell me there are lovely, reliable nannies out there! Just don't understand why she has done this. If only she had told us! It makes life harder for her as well as she will now be blacklisted and I'm not sure her referees will want to provide references again. I actually contacted one of them who I had spoken to previously who had given her an amazing reference (which was really a big factor in hiring her) to ask if she had heard from her (she hadn't) so I felt obliged to email her and let her know what had happened just in case this person asks her for a reference in future.

Blondes, I don't think we do get our fee back!! They just agree to replace her so will start sending through more CVs. I will interview when we're back in London in 2 weeks. We're looking for 4.5 days a week, 8 - 6.30/7, 8 month old and a 2.8 yr old, Complicating factor is that we want French mother tongue (DH is half French and wants them to speak it).

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drinkyourmilk · 16/11/2010 20:24

That's a total pile of poo. Sorry that's happened Gangle.

Blondeshavemorefun · 16/11/2010 20:20

Ahhhhhhh for you

Angry on your behalf that she couldn't have told you or agency - she isn't obviously a professional nanny or she would have given you some warning/replied to emails :(

trust your gut instincts - you felt something was wrong

so what happens now?

Obv you get your fee back , nanny will be blacklisted from that agency and you start again

what are you looking for? Days/hours etc. Think you have a baby and toddler is that right?

nbee84 · 16/11/2010 20:04

Sad Sorry it turned out this way.

Here's hoping that you find your perfect nanny.

Gangle · 16/11/2010 19:59

So, by way of an update, the agency sent an email a London based nanny agency association asking them to let it know if the missing nanny had been in touch. Found out this morning that she has been in touch with an agency this week trying to get another position!! The agency I am using has emailed her saying it's very disappointed and can she provide us with an explanation. No response, surprise, surprise. I am horrified I was going to let this woman near my children. Completely friggin unreliable and underhand. Fine if she didn't want the job for whatever reason but why not just tell us that so we all know where we stand rather than changing your number and refusing to reply to emails! So, back to square one - back to work in less than a month and no nanny!

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ChippingIn · 15/11/2010 15:58

Gangle - don't worry about not having met her, I have been employed by people I've never met and I've employed people I have never met and it has always been fine!

As I said before, I think it wont hurt to get the agency to send you some CV's etc but to be honest, I think you are over-reacting. She's been given a start date, until that start date she doesn't have to be in touch with you or the agency - she's free to live her own life and make her own arrangements - you can't give her job to someone else simply because she's not contactable prior to her start date!

Relax, keep the agency up to date and hope she turns up on the day :)

Gangle · 14/11/2010 23:33

MrsTeddy, I did of course check the references myself but thought that the agency has also vetted her, met her in person etc.

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MrsTeddy · 14/11/2010 21:04

OP, I appreciate that you're paying a massive agency fee but as a nanny employer I'd never rely solely on the agency to do the vetting, take up references etc. I'd double-check all this myself: particularly references.

I've been called by agencies checking references for my previous nannies and all they do is check the dates they worked, what basic duties were and whether I found them "trustworthy" (?!). When parents call me themselves they have the chance to ask questions about issues that concern them and I think this is often far more useful for them. (Obviously as an employer you have to be careful about what you say when giving a reference but fortunately I've been happy with my previous nannies so it's never really been an issue). Interestingly none of the agencies have ever checked how many sick days the nanny had, which I always do.

Just something you might like to bear in mind if you do need to hire a replacement - hope your nanny turns up with an innocent explanation though!

nbee84 · 14/11/2010 17:07

So.... nanny is due to start on 1st December. You are not due back in the country until the end of this month. Today is 14th November - end of the month is over 2 weeks away. You say that nobody has heard from her for 10 days. If she has gone on holiday for 2 weeks, (and does not have reception/has not switched her phone on due to roaming charges), then she is not due back for 4/5 days yet - which is still well before she is expecting you back in this country and is due to start working for you.

By all means line up some interviews just in case, but hopefully you'll hear from her later this week and all your fears will have been ungrounded - I hope so, fingers crossed for you Smile

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2010 17:03

frakk, yes completely insane Grin

if i were to start a job,then go away on holiday, i would mention it to the agency that i would be away and uncontactable, just incase they needed me for something

i would get the address off agency then ask your good friend to go round and knock on her door/talk to neighbors

hopefully she is away and didnt think anything of it BUT you need to cover yourself and start interviewing just in case

fel1x · 14/11/2010 16:52

I'd arrange back up care if you can, but don't replace her just yet!
If you thought she seemed very keen and excited to start the job and the agency think well of her then I'd assume she's on holiday for now.
Imagine if she's gone off for a 2 week break to recharge her batteries and come back all refreshed ready to start her new job only to be told you've replaced her as you couldn't get hold of her for a week !!
It's very common to not take a phone abroad and very common to have a 2 week hol, so give her at least 2 weeks!

Gangle · 14/11/2010 16:51

I suppose I was relying on the agency (and the 2k fee I paid) to do the vetting, interviewing etc. They made various checks on candidates before they take them on which I hoped stood for something, at least that this person would honour a commitment.

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Gangle · 14/11/2010 16:50

What about email NorthernLurker? We've offered her the job, not employed her as yet. There would have been a trial period. Yes it was a risk and I've certainly learnt a lesson from it!

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Gangle · 14/11/2010 16:48

I agree NannyNick - I did worry this might happen. Upsetting but not the end of the world as we can at least now interview in person. Thank god we found out before she started!

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NorthernLurker · 14/11/2010 16:48

Her phone could have been stolen. I think you have to wait and see if she turns up tbh. You've given her the job and she isn't obligated to be in touch till her start date.

As an aside I think it is taking a huge risk to employ someone you've never met to do anything - let alone look after your children.