Would you consider a male nanny?

I would use a male nanny if he came highly recommended but not a male au pair (i have 3 small dds, au pairs are not security checked).

but really with just daughters I'd prefer a woman nanny - and if I had only boys I'd prefer a male one.

Ooo, a new 'male' baby whisperer, he could make a fortune. Failing that could you send him round here?

Mmmmm. I think maybe. But just discussed it with DH and he says 'Yes he would but, finds it odd as women are 'natural' primary carers of children'

I can see that biologically and therefore it makes sense that most child carers are women. Men are programmed to dump seed and run, or at best run off to hunt down food. Women are more programmed to stay and nurture.

I know our modern lifestyle blurs those natural instincts but I do think they are still there.

If I found a male nanny as good with littlies as my Dad, I would definately hire him. He is like a baby whisperer he really is.

Katy - glad its not because of this then

I agree that is a worry about the messages that we are giving our children - I don't want my wonderful DS to grow up being eyed up as a potential paeodophile at every turn

Soapbox - possibly, but I have taken on 6 new children in 6 months and the 2 I have lost have gone (in my opinion) because the mum is depressed about how much of her twins life she is missing.

Even without them we still have over 10 children on our books - so I don't think it is a major concern for the parents. We have 5 children a day for 3 days(well actually 7 but a max of 5 at a time) and 4 for 2 days (again 5 and 6 but only 4 at a time) - so although I'd like more business - that's just 'cos I'm greedy.

Just wondering if there is a cut-off point then? Is there a minimum age above which it is no longer "iffy" to want to work with children? I am worried at this thread. It seems an extension of that tired old "all men are potential rapists" chestnut. All men are potential paedophiles?! Seriously - what message are we sending to our children, especially (but not exclusively) the boys.

Apparently the latest 'in thing' in the home counties is the tennnis au pair!

Tennis pros from eastern europe are apparently much in demand to help the little darlings improve their game!

The majority of them are male

male nannies would have gone through the same training as females, if you wouldn't employ a male nanny then i think that showa a lack of trust in training.

I knew a male nanny, he was fab and gave a different aspect of child care that was a big advantage.

Not been in thie situation of employing one though so i guess thats another story.

Katy - trying to word this sensitively - but do you think that your difficulty in filling places currently might be due to the prejudices against men working in childcare as expressed on this thread?

FWIW my DD has a male teacher this year (Y3) and absolutely adores him, it never crossed my mind that there was anything remotely ify about male teachers There are actually a lot of them in the junior school she goes to so I suppose it just seemed the norm!

Sorry didnt mean to offend anyone by my comments. I do agree that it should not be an issue, as do most other posters, its just a gut reaction, rightly or wrongly it cannot be helped.

I was shocked and upset by this whole thread and the comments. I will not be showing my DH or discussing it with him.

When he was 16 (in 1968) he wanted to work with children or to be a cook. His father refused to allow it and he went on to be a welder - this has affected his health considerably.

When I met him (age 40) he was in the process of becoming medically retired, and discussing retraining - he mentioned his wish to work with children in passing and after getting considerable support from me went on to do a childcare course. His family did not agree with this course.

Now we childmind together and he is in his element. He deals with the practicalities of child rearing with considerable ease (apart from babychanging units being predominantly in the ladies).

And after lunch when the business of the day is done he rolls around the floor with between 2 and 7 babies (all under 2) - this is the best part of the job - for him, as he enjoys it so much, for the children, as they get so much confidence from him and for me, to see them all enjoying themselves so much.

For most of our parents, they chose us because of a male childminder to start with.....but all of they stay because dh and their children so obviously love each other and are desparate to interact together

Sorry that was so long

I'm a bit shocked by all this. My brother is a primary school teacher, and someone once made a joke about his possible "paedophile tendencies". To me! About my brother! Personally, I wouldn't use a nanny because I don't like the idea of one person having sole charge of my children. I find them hard enough, and they're mine. When ds started nursery, there was a man working there, and he was fantastic. Ds loved him, and was upset when he moved on to bigger and better things. I am more than happy to have men looking after ds - in fact I think I prefer it. Indded, I worry about the messages conveyed to children about men when attitudes like this are so casually accepted.

Yes. Most men would never hurt a child. My ds1 (aged 6) class teacher is a bloke and my son worships him! It is good for children to have men in their lives (you need more of a balance than dad and everyone else is a woman).

I hate it that men are treated with this suspicion. Why is it assumed that women are automatically better anyway?!! A lot of men would love to work with children, would be bloody good at it, would enrich the lives of children and teach them so much - yet they can't or darent because if they say I love children, some people hear I love interfering with children.

It is wrong, wrong, wrong.

Why shouldn't men get the joy of working, interacting and playing with small children? My dh loves to play with our kids, he loves all kids and thinks they are loads of fun. A lot of men feel the same and would love to get down with the finger painting!

Take the same sensible precautions for anyone you entrust with your child, crb checks, be aware of possible risks, even use your intuition, or have a system of monitoring, but don't cut off 50% of the population from giving valuable input into the next generation, or from experiencing the pleasure small children can bring. Imagine how awful it must be to be a man in this respect - knowing that you are viewed as a potential pervert if you so much as pause by the playground to listen to the squeals of joy!

Yes I would have a male nanny. No probs. I have a great friend (male) doing his reception Primary training and he is going to be FABULOUS. I wopuld dearly love him to be my nanny if I had one.

Yes OK, men can do things to a kid a woman can't (as someone said earlier), but a woman can still be abusive in many varied ways. A nanny with a good history, well checked references and experience is a blessing, male or female.

My husband works with children and frankly I'm incredibly offended by some of the comments in this thread- what horrible bigotry! I'm proud of my husband for doing the job he does in the face of such discrimination and I'm saddened that my daughter has to grow up in a world where gender roles are so rigid.

less likely to have affair with dp hopefully?

I would like to think that I would, but faced with the decision Im not so sure. I have a boy, and for some, probably unrational, reason I think that would make a difference too.

I feel sad that I seem to be jumping on the 'bound to be an abuser' bandwagon but I guess its just my gut reaction and I cant help that.

That said, I think if I met the chap I would hope I could base my decision on my feelings at that point (assuming all checks were ok), as I would with anyone.

Absolutely. Actually, I'd jump at the chance. I think its great for kids to see men in a childcare role.

I would anyway carry out a full check-references, dropping in at odd hours, seeing how kids felt (+respecting that), sending friends round, etc, with any nanny.

I do think that any male nanny would be aware that they were going to be under the spotlight all the time, with EVERYONE in the lookout for abuse, so they would have to be really really determined. Most men I know would not become nannies (or primary school/nursery teachers) for this reason-anything you do could be misconstrued.

We have had a male childminder for many years, and he is fantastic - very caring and organised. However, he is a neighbour and we already knew him and his wife very well before our child went there. He has had to cope with prejudice against him from parents and other childminders but I think people have changed their attitudes over the years. So personally of course I wouldn't automatically say no to a male nanny, but would carry out the checks you would carry out with any potential carer of your children. Neither should you dismiss gut instinct once you have met him...you have to be 100% comfortable with whoever you employ. I'd say just try to look further than his gender and assess him on his suitability for the job.

If his police checks and references are good and he is nice with dd then yes I would!
You never know you might get to like him too!!!

Definitely.

Definately. Men are just as good at caring for children when motivated.

blu.
not enought male role models left for children - I would definately consider a male nanny.

I would - it would matter to me only that the nanny (m or f) was the right person for our family. But I know I would have an almighty fight on my hands with DP.....

absolutely, I would consider it. My bf (male) sometimes looks after dd and they get along like a house on fire. In fact when she gives her listof "people I love" he generally come third... way before grannies, grandad etc
I don't see childcare as a female role necessarily. It is more to do with personal characterictics. I think the only thing that would concern me is how a male nanny would fit into the local social circle, i.e. would he be comfortable at play groups etc as he is likely to be the only man, but if he has chosen the role then he is presumably OK in this environment.