Why do we have kids if we can't look after them ourselves?

I'm not suggesting that people should never work. As I've said twice, I'm refering to the first five years of a child's life.

They leaves plenty of working time!

it's a myth that women stayed at home in huge numbers.

my mum worked, so did by gran who had 7 kids. they relied on family, neighbours, older siblings, aunts. all over the world, women work while their kids are looked after by others. it is entirely normal and probably better for them than being stuck with the same person day in, day out.

Lol pasta and op are the same poster . Not going to convince me otherwise regardless of what you say.

I'm a teacher. A lot of my students' parents work. And the kids are very young . Should kids not go to school until their parents have finished raising them? What age would that be? 18? 20?

It's usually not about selfishness, it's about capitalism. We live in an age where to have a good standard of living in vast swathes of the country you need two salaries, or one and a half.

I suspect if we were all billionaires there would be a lot less parents working.

I talk about parents, not mothers! One of the people I refer to in my previous post is a dad. Please don't imply that I'm only talking about mothers because I'm simply not!

'RESORT TO' using nurseries etc,. pastaplease?

Sorry but I take exception to that. Do you not think it might be 'CHOOSE TO, after careful thought and consideration'?

No, I don't think that. As I said, I was mainly thinking of the first five years of a child's life.

OK, this will read like a total cop-out, but it's only because I'm talking about two friends who are MN members, but they are single parents and are getting by with two DCs each. Yes, of course they live frugally (as do I, by the way) and I really mean frugally. It's not all glamorous clothes and posh holidays (far from it!) but there's time to earn properly again when the DCs are at school.

I'm not suggesting for a minute that it's easy if you're alone. I've known it first-hand.

However, not everyone who chooses to work over looking over their child(ren) is living on the breadline.

Wrinkly - that's lovely

Our nanny is treated like a family member

Because my hormones were raging and my doctor told me it would take at least a year to concieve after stopping the pill.

have we just gone back in time 50 years?

OP refers to selfish motherhood and pastaplease posted that she agreed

I haven't heard you say anything about selfish fathers

????

so basically if a women wants children she has to marry someone rich, or chose not to work stay at home and claim benefits. do you home school your children so they dont have to go to school and be watched by teachers and not yourself. of course i would love to not work and still have plenty of money for bills,food clothes,treats ect but that is just not possible as i would have to claim benfits so would have no money to do those things anyway.
if the chose of life was either have children and never work or work and never have children. either every1 would be unemployed and at home or the population would be a lot smaller due to everyone working and not having children

I'm a nanny. I help make it possible for mothers (and fathers) to go to work if they want to or if they need to. I love their children and look after them well and help the family unit to function. I don't replace a parent. I add to the number of people in the family. In a way I feel I am part of the "village" that helps raise children and in my opinion that's a GOOD thing. I work hard so the parents can work hard. And I hope my presence eases any guilt they might feel for their choices, although personally I don't think ANY parent should be made to feel guilty for those choices. People can have different opinions but no one should be made to feel bad for doing what THEY think is best for THEIR family.

I think so too pastaplease. When I was pregnant with DS1 I also thought like the OP; however, not everyone has a DP or family that can support them. Why should those people not have children?

Should we stop sending kids to school and have either mum or dad stay home to educate them? It is a form of childcare after all?

I suspect it because I've talked about this to lots of friends and family members. It's just not the done thing, so say it in fear of being critical of others.

I'm not bothered whether it's a mother or a father. I said "people", not "mothers".

I'm a musician too.

No, not the same person at all!

"The idea that somebody else can do a better job than the mum or dad is frankly odd."

How many men's websites have you posted this on? Or is it only women (mothers) that you want to pick a fight with.

What Uniftmother said.

( I know, Star) lol

Lol pastaplease and op are Probably same poster, different names

lucky you not having to work. i am looking after two choldren right now. Poor deprived boys have had friends over, dinner made and we have played footie and are now chilling with a dvd, rather boring but its their friday night treat. Parents are musicians, should they not be allowed to have children?

why do you suspect that, pastaplease?

and I'll ask you too, why are you not directing ire towards fathers?

It's not a matter of wealth (childcare aint cheap!), it's about priorities.

The OP mentions mums and dads, not just mums.

Agree with Ruby. You have your opinion. I don't care what you think.

I spend loads of time with my child and we are all very happy. And it would be "selfish" for me to stay home and not feed/clothe/house him.

I suspect that many, many more people will agree with the OP than will admit.