Why do we have kids if we can't look after them ourselves?

Have you read that book about Idle Parenting? I love the gist of it, let children BE. Society in most places thesedays is not conducive to this ethos. Which is sad.

It has now wrinklyraisin-with a whole blow by blow account of the birth. He is a very sweet looking toddler, but I predict that he will rebel one day-if only about the hand knitted garments.

not read the whole thread [hblush] but is 'SHE' the OP?

I think, MaMoTTat that the reason SHE can be so dedicated to the child, is the child hadn't actually arrived yet

I think that you are doing them a great favour with benign neglect. Being bored stimulates the imagination.

Aside from why I shouldn't work, if i didn't and looked after the DS's all day I WOULD GO NUTS..........thats all there is to it from my perspective [hgrin]

Exactly. That little boy will be living so high up on a pedestal he will have no idea about Real Life.

Seriously though, I'm all for Aspirational Parenting. Just do it in a way that won't get the poor kid beaten up on the way home from school.

Yes MaMoTTat, I wasn't suggesting you couldn't be arsed. I just feel so strongly that women have won the right to make choices, but in doing so we have lost the right to decide whether we work.

So many women work to just make ends meet in jobs they don't enjoy. If they don't work they are made to feel useless wasters who are not contributing to society or family. Why is child rearing now considered below us. Why is it almost shameful to admit we might like to stay at home.

Why do we now define ourselves by paid employment, often in low paid jobs that we don't enjoy. Some women have great careers and I can understand that they want to work.

"It is much better to set a good example by having all sorts of roles in life."

totally agree there.

But I still feel slightly inadequate that a parent can be so 100% dedicated to their child at all times and I'm at home (most) of the time and just can't do it.

It makes me feel a much better parent-I feel so sorry for Finn! I think that a parent totally devoted to their child must be very hard for the child.It is much better to set a good example by having all sorts of roles in life.

will make me feel.

oh I daren't pisces - a working mother keeping up a parenting regime like that will me feel totally inadequate instead of just marginally

I don't think many women (any women?) define themselves by paid work alone.

I'm a mother, a partner, a daughter, a friend, an employee....lots of things define who I am.

I love that PFB Blog thanks so much for ending my stressful week with a good howling laff

If you admire her dedication MaMoTTaT try Finn's corner

Actually she is a working mother as she is trying to sell her books I think.

and I find it rather sad that some mothers want to define themselves as mothers alone.

The first part of my username stands for

Muscian and Mother........in that order - I'm not JUST a mother.

ermm - mini - I'm a SAHM - and have been for 8/10yrs of being a parent. I'm definitely of the benign neglect sort though, and cooking, baking, painting, arty crafty stuff is just beyond me

I have to be honest - of course I love my boys, BUT I enjoy adult company, yes I enjoy doing adult stuff (thank God for my church stuff I do - it keeps me sane until I'm back at work sometime next year).

I do find the whole SAHM thing a bit of a drudge tbh.

I've been out this evening, so just got home and I'm wondering if this thread is worth my while reading... anyone want to give a summary?

Seems a little odd to post on a childcare related section, which will be mostly read by parents using childcare services and childcare service providers. Surely it would be better in a different section... where there may be some SAHM's/SAHD's who may also feel that having their children cared for by someone else, whilst they themselves go to work, is a bad thing.

As a childcare provider, I'm very happy that some parents choose to go out to work and leave their children in the care of a nanny (like me). If those parents stayed home to care for their own children I wouldn't have a job. So you could say that by going to work, parents are helping to keep the unemployed figures down... as it's not just the parent who does not appear in that figure, but also the person they employ (directly or indirectly).

"BUT at the same time I do have to confess I admire her dedication to it all, I could never be arsed with all of that time it must take."

YEP but some women can't be arsed with looking after their children, can they.

How many times do you hear women saying they like adult company, staying home with the children would drive them into a breakdown. Are children really so exhausting and boring, is being a mother really such drudgery.

Sad that women should define themselves by paid work alone. Sad that paid labour that is in many cases economic nessesity should actually come to be the one thing we define ourselves by.

pisces - I think that woman is bonkers and totally off her trolley.

BUT at the same time I do have to confess I admire her dedication to it all, I could never be arsed with all of that time it must take.

My mother should have worked when we were little, she was crap and anything would have been better than the treatment we got at home, kicked out to play in the street aged 2 that sort of thing.
Some people really shouldn't have children but since we can't stop them, if they in their heart of hearts know that is the case too then thank god there are affordable childcare options these days.

It comes under a thread 'Hilariously PFB Blog and also under the one on wooden toys. It is the funniest thing that I have ever read on MN-once I got over the shock! (answer to wrinklyraisin)

Oh yeah mrsdeveerie.

I worked when my kids were small and made sure that I always wore my CND badge and my dungarees and DM's were pristine

I didn't work because we needed a place to live in or food to eat - I did it because wimmin like me need to make a stand against the male dogma and glass ceilings and stuff.

Yeah

To sell them for drink money.

Obviously.

I think you will find that Stone Age women were out working! The baby would have been cared for by an older sister or MIL.People take what they want from primitive societies and miss out the bits they don't like!