Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

DS @ CM,noticed incorrect car seat

82 replies

Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 20:40

Hi There

My DS aged 2years goes to a CM once a week for the whole day. Today she picked him up from me, I noticed that when she put him in the car he wasnt in a 5 point car seat with harness, just a seatbelt on a booster. Now I am sure that this isnt SAFE and defo not legal.I let him go with her but kicking myself for not saying something!
How do you approach this?
Also I locked my self out this morning and as I had just dropped daddy of at the station, I didnt have any of my DS stuff with me (coat/nappy bag/snacks etc), was all in the house. Anyway, rang MIL who was en route with key. CM arrived, I apologised and said that I didnt have anything because of my mishap. She just shrugged her shoulders and said oh well, I asked if she had any spare nappies etc, to which she replied no. Anyway I asked her to wait a few mins so that I could get all his bits. She wouldnt!
She didnt say "dont worry i shall sort him some lunch and nappies" was very unhelpful, I realise it wasnt her fault but I kinda expected her to be a bit more understanding and reassuring.
Anyway, off he goes.
A couple of other issues, as with most 2yr olds he has good and bad days with food. I gave her a list of fave`s which inc sarnies, fruit and other picnic bits. She basically demanded after 2 days that I bring my own food for him as he is so fussy!No reduction in fees as food inc, just bring a PL.
Today in the bag, which I dropped round before lunch once in the house was bread sticks,apple,banana,raisins,mini sausages,cucumber,crisps and a fruit pouch. She sent me a text tonight to complain Toby didnt have lunch as I didnt send anything! Whats all of the above if not lunch..does that mean he didnt have anything?!
Last week he had a sore bottom/red raw, so I sudocreamed him up and sent him on his way. Daddy picked him up, I took him upstairs to get ready for bed..guess what his nappy was almost hanging on. There was no sign of fresh cream and he was now bleeding as so sore. It looked very much to me like she hadnt changed his nappy all day and looking in his bag Im sure no nappies were missing. Nothing was mentioned in his book re his bottom etc.
Anyway, sorry for the saga...WWYD
Thanks guys
xx

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
onadietcokebreak · 19/10/2010 13:38

She is bang out of order for not using a correct car seat. Those seats are meant for from 4 years or 15kg.Your child is unlikely to be either.

My DS is 3yo, tall and big for age and still only 17kg. He cant use a high backed booster seat. He still hasnt got the mental undestanding not to underdo belt. I am keeping him in his 5 point until max weight of 18kg.

Please report her to ofsted. Its wrong.

God knows what you are going to do about Childcare. Please speak to your boss.

PositiveOutlook · 19/10/2010 11:54

It is heartbreaking and i do understand your dilema but your priority has to be your ds. Without trying to scare you, what you have described is blatant neglect and you should be worried.

If you explain to your boss how the cm is treating your son will she be a bit more understanding and surely your inlaws would be flexible for a few weeks if they knew how serious it was?

LynetteScavo · 19/10/2010 10:45

Having read the whole thread, I think you should be looking around for a new job. This one sounds like a bit of a nightmare.

One where you can take your DS with you, or one which pays enough to cover a childminder. Can you commute into London from where you are? I'm thinking you would be payed a decent wage if you were working in London, but using a childminder where you live.

A freind of mine worked in a nursery, and took her daughter there as well. At the end of the week she came out with £8. She only did it for the experience (it was her first job). I was wondering if something like that might work for you, if it means you are able to claim WTC/help with the cost of child care?

new2cm · 19/10/2010 10:40

Funky2sarah.

NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT COMPLAINING. YOU WERE JUSTIFIED TO VOICE YOUR CONCERNS.

You need to contact your county's FIS. Local Authorities have a legal obligation under the Childcare Act 2006 to ensure there is sufficient childcare provision in your area.

Also, most childminders belong to a childminding network. It would be interesting to know who she had as a back-up. It is good practice - and OFSTED usually ask about this during inspections - to have another registered childminder as back-up just in case. Do you have a copy of her policies? It should clearly state the names and contact details of alternative childminders should there be an emergency.

Your local Surestart Centre should be able to provide you with a list of registered childminders in your area. As should the NCMA.

PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 19/10/2010 10:25

if i was closer I would help you.... I can't believe how awful she is being to you and your little boy.

Speak to your boss and explain that you will need to bring DS until you have found him alternative childcare

thebody · 19/10/2010 10:18

a quikki as my mindees all asleep.. i bend over backwards for my parents as much as possible.. she sounds rude, unhelpful and the csar seat is definatly a red warnoing light..

you dont need this.. get rid.. much better out there..

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 19/10/2010 10:00

Morning Everyone

Thanks for all your advice and help yesterday...well I got my response....

She is sorry that I am clearly not happy with the care T is receiving. I forgot to pop his diary in the bag this week, so she has been unable to document his day. (could it not be written on a separate sheet and stapled into the book next wk?!!)
She said apart from him doing a poo last week she recalls nothing of his bottom...hmm,surely as a CM you would mention such an open/sore/bleeding bottom and note that you had to pop some cream on?!

The car seat she is using is suitable from 15kgs - TBH I havent had T weighed in a while but he is borderline in my opinion and I dont deem it safe that an only just 2yr old can easily remove his arms from the seatbelt.Having checked online the average 2yr old only weighs 12kg, and he isnt at all on the large side, quite skinny/tall!

Under the circumstances she feels its better to terminate my contract either under 6 wks notice or with immediate effect (which is her preference!)She will reimburse next weeks money....

So there it is..by voicing my concerns, I have well and truly upset her..now who can look after T on a monday for me..anyone?!!

xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 22:12

email sent......nervously awaits response!

OP posts:
Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 22:11

no government help until Jan 2012 for nursery fees x

OP posts:
Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 22:11

I already get TC but the lowest possible amount, so not even enough to cover 1 days fee!!

OP posts:
gizzy1973 · 18/10/2010 22:09

meant to say ditch the cm

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 22:09

This is going to sound really poor - I dont have any friends that are at home or other family as I`m an only child and DH brother is a workaholic!
I didnt get to meet anyone at ante natal as I had him before we all swapped details ect and I am not a member of NCT.
So no one else springs to mind.
2 other friends are nannys but they also run an agency so dont have time to help!

grrrrrr....

OP posts:
gizzy1973 · 18/10/2010 22:09

have you looked into tax credits helping pay for some of the nursey fees?

StarExpat · 18/10/2010 22:02

Friends nearby you may be able to pay or do reciprocal care for in the interim? All my suggestions are things that would be unavailable to me. Lol

StarExpat · 18/10/2010 22:00

You may want to reference the incident with lunch when you write about that bit iyswim. Otherwise it just seems like you're randomly adding in what his lunch was.

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:59

its not the money that`s the problem - she just has issues with him being around too much!!

plus I have just taken a pay cut as she has decided to cut my hrs so couldnt afford to work for any less, really want a FT job not PT.

hmmm, I will talk to her if I get chance but unlikely as I think shes away on conference for a few days. Dont want her to doubt me etc etc!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:57

nwoc = Nanny with own child

OP posts:
StarExpat · 18/10/2010 21:56

Oh good idea - you could offer to be paid a bit less that day to take ds with you? Just until you find a new cm? Can you not explain this situation to her?

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:56

email to CM* THOUGHTS PLS **
Dear XXXX

I felt it is important to touch base as there are a couple of issues that need addressing with T`s care

Car Seat - Today I noticed that you put T into a booster seat with back using the seat belt. We are not happy with this, he is not old enough or neither does he weight enough, generally this seat is for a 4yrs+. He needs to be in a 5 point harness car seat, to stop him slipping under the belt, also I noticed it wasnt on very tight. I appreciate he`s very tall but this is not a risk I feel should be taken.Please advise if you can you provide the correct car seat for next Monday.

Last Week- Please can you let me know how Tobys bottom was last monday when you changed it?

Toby`s lunch was as provided in the bag so - breadsticks,raisins,crisps,fruit pouch,banana,apple,sausages etc- all the picnic bits.

We look forward to hearing from you

OP posts:
Bluebell99 · 18/10/2010 21:53

What's a NWOC? There is no way I would leave my child with such an horrendous childminder whilst I went to look after someone else's child. I think you just need to explain the situation to your employer, and take your child with you until you sort something else out. Your childminder is neglecting your child.

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:52

awwww thanks thisis!
x

just composing an email to her re the car seat...watch this space!

OP posts:
Ripeberry · 18/10/2010 21:48

It seems very unfair that you are not allowed to bring your child to work. Would your employer not be interested in it at all?
I thought nannies who brought their own children were cheaper to employ?

The only other thing you could do is get a student to come to your house and look after your child?

thisisyesterday · 18/10/2010 21:45

oh gosh. i wish i could help. i'm not even a CM, but if i lived nearer to you i'd volunteer to look after him til you found one!!!

Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:41

Without a CM, I break my contract = no job!
So its a no win situation for me. In the current climate I cant afford to loose my job as NWOC is almost impossible to find the right job. Even with 15 yrs exp, NNEB, First Aid, CRB, OFSTED and excellent refs...hmmmmpphhh

I just wish I could demonstrate to my emplyer exactly what Im going through and how much my child is missing out on and the sacrifice Im having to make at the mo!
x

OP posts:
Original poster
Funky2sarah · 18/10/2010 21:38

Timba- I agree that she isnt looking after my DS in an acceptable manner.
I have used netmums/childcare.co.uk/gumtree to look for local CM`S and also .GOV, many local are full or unable to do the day I need. And some are out of my price bracket.

I am an hr away from Crawley so dont think its the same one!
x

OP posts: