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Original poster

Au Pair not keeping their own room clean

63 replies

SettlingBackIn · 14/10/2010 11:27

Does anyone have any wording that they put in their au pair instructions/house rules about cleaning their own room/bathroom and about the host family's right to inspect the room/bathroom from time to time?

Also, does anyone have any wording they use about not gobbling up all the snacks from the larder between meals?
My view is generally that I provide 3 meals a day and anything else they must buy themselves. I've never had to say this explicitly and wouldn't be bothered about the odd biscuit but my most recent one has been comfort-eating and whole packets of jaffa cakes and pizzas have disappeared.

My current au pair is leaving today after just 5 weeks (her choice but we are not too unhappy).
I have had problems with her and a previous au pair not keeping their own room and bathroom clean. The bathroom is a particular issue as on one occasion I had to spend a load of time and effort removing and replacing sealant that they had allowed to go mouldy.
3 other au pairs have managed to keep the bathroom in a reasonable state so I know it is not impossible.
The most recent au pair was also keeping a lot of food in her room and left that and half eaten food lying around.

OP posts:
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lifeinagoldfishbowl · 15/10/2010 09:56

I am a live in nanny and must say that my bedroom often looks chaotic - mb has a closet in my room so sometimes she has to go in - she asks first and I know as a "neat freak" Grin she does take a big breath before she goes in Wink Grin

However main reasons for my room being a mess is 1, it's small and theres not much storage space 2, it's almost an extension of work ie I will have my planning, dc's scrapbooks, photograph albums, my work handbag etc all out as I continue to do these things in my evenings 3, because we have a small house I take a cup of tea and maybe a snack to my room and yes sometimes the cup or the glass of water is still there the next day but it eventually comes down at some point the next day etc.

echt · 15/10/2010 07:35

OP - some details on what you mean by "keeping the whole house clean".

Strix · 15/10/2010 07:27

I think your comlaints are totally reasonable. I am with you on mold and half eaten food. I would add it to the contract, and also mention that any damage to the room will be deducted from final paycheque. And I would put something brief in the house rules.

Original poster
SettlingBackIn · 15/10/2010 00:08

I'm not bothered about the room being untidy - goodness knows my kids rooms are pretty untidy. It was the mould in the bathroom (which is en suite with the au pair room and was brand new before the first of the recent clutch of au pairs arrived), and the half-eaten food lying around that bothered me.

Interestingly the 2 au pairs who couldn't keep the bathroom clean both kept their bedroom door shut the whole time whether they were in there or not. Plus they both had medical training so I would have expected them to be aware of how unhygienic it is to let mould grown in the bathroom.

I want to avoid having this problem in the future if possible. It would be nice to think I could rely on common sense and au pairs understanding what is reasonable but it's beginning to seem like that's not possible. I don't want to present them with a list of rules as long as my arm the moment they walk in the door though.

OP posts:
DreamTeamGirl · 14/10/2010 18:24

My AP shared a bathroom with DS- I had an ensuite but they both used the 'family' bathroom. So of course it was easy to keep that clean as it was built into her day

I didnt care what she did with her room, I just said if she left it tidy & the door open on Friday the cleaner would do it, otherwise it was down to her. I would never have inspected it!!!

Re the food, they are pretty young and can eat an amazing amount, so I didnt limit snacks as such, but I did buy snack type food and show it to her, saying 'I have bought this for the week'. If she ate it before the end of the week it was tough luck, I wasnt buying more, but I wasnt stingy about it

as I recall she ate about 30 bananas a week tho which I was reallly Shock about

Strix · 14/10/2010 15:01

I would stick it in the house rules, personally. I don't mind if they want to keep their room a bit messy. But when it is actually dirty (mould, food left in dishes, etc.) then I say something. So I draw the line at hygeine rather than tidiness. In a bathromm which is shared, however, I would expect tidiness as well.

As for food, I would never dream of saying I don't provide snacks. However, I would expect him/her to be considerate of his/her fair share. So, if 5 people live in the house and I buy a packet of 20 posh chocolates, I would expect her not to eat all of them.

In general if I have a nanny/au pair plowing through the convenience food, I find the easiest thing to do is not buy it next week.

Basically I expect them to eat/ration the supplies as i would do my self.

If I buy something for a particular occassion I mark it as such or stick it in a particular place. For example, I used to stick the food I buy for lunches at work in the fridge in the garage and nanny knew that stuff was for work and not for her/kids.

Original poster
SettlingBackIn · 14/10/2010 14:31

Our recent au pairs have been responsible for keeping the whole house clean but during term time there is very little childcare to do as my children don't get home from school till 5:30pm. If they didn't do the cleaning then there would be almost nothing for them to do.
We make it clear before they arrive that they will have to do the cleaning and it's not a huge house. If you crack on with it you could do it all in 1 day which would leave them almost completely free for the rest of the week!
As I said, we've only had this problem with their own room with 2 out of the recent 5 and never had it with the ones we had when the children were tiny even though they had much more work to do.
Also, they are not teenagers, these days we always have people over 23 as we need them to be able to drive here.

OP posts:
HarrietTheSpook · 14/10/2010 12:28

Hi Settling
The best/easiest way to manage this is by allocating her responsibility for cleaning up her own room most of the time but having your cleaner do her room like once a month. This is what ours does - she doesn't have any general housekeeping responsibilities and as I would have to pay the cleaner extra to do her room all the time (she has an entire floor to herself) I think it is reasonable for her to look after this part of the house herself. With the cleaner going in periodically we can see if anything really scary is developing w/o being too intrusive- I was not by any means the cleanest teen and I agree standards could be lower than an adult's.

Just tell them you want meals eaten in the kitchen/dining room and to bring any plates down.

Not sure what to do about the food thing. Awkward like trying to have that 'we need some couple time' conversation.

NewTeacher · 14/10/2010 12:23

It is your house and you do have the right to expect the room and bathroom to be clean.

My AP knows that I do random checks - peek through the door to check room doesnt smell and is tidy she has no problems with that.

The bathroom has to be kept tidy as its the 'guest bathroom' so is mostly just her use but when we have guests they use that bathroom too so I expect it to be clean. Since she has been using it she is expected to keep it clean!

Her room and bathroom are cleaned by the cleaner once a week so I know they do get hoovered and tidied!

BlueGreen not everyone treats AP's badly so it isnt fair to assume an AP is a domestic slave!

hobbgoblin · 14/10/2010 12:21

Do you already know the answer then BlueGreen? (Am thinking you may have seen other threads by OP and be privy to more info than me)

BlueGreen · 14/10/2010 12:13

"How much cleaning of the main house do they do though?" You will be surprised!

hobbgoblin · 14/10/2010 12:07

Lots of assumptions there BlueGreen.

I think that if they are quite young, there needs to be a degree of acceptance of the 'just out of teenage years' behaviour. On a week to week basis it's up to them how their room is surely but I'd expect once a month to see them having a sort out and for the bathroom to be given a wipe round regularly enough that there is no damage.

I don't think you can 'inspect' but you could ask them in a round about way such as "do you need anything added to the shopping list in terms of cleaning things for your room/bathroom?" so they get the idea.

How much cleaning of the main house do they do though?

BlueGreen · 14/10/2010 12:02

I wonder how many hours those Aupairs worked/ing in your house? It is possible that they are tired of cleaning the whole day and dont have the strenth to clean theirs!

Maybe you should look at your attitue on this as it seems you werent happy with any of those Aupairs you had. Maybe you are too fussy..?