My chilminder put my kids out in her garden because I was 10 mins late

Seriously, it is incredibly annoying when parents are late and it DOES impact on your evening.

I am a nanny and my employer regularly turns up late without phoning me. It's at the point now where, unless I text her that day and tell her I need to be out on time because I have an appointment or plans, she will, without a doubt, be at least 10 minutes late.

I now get mine and my own child's shoes on and watch out of the window so that we are ready to leave when she arrives. I think it's highly unfair to enforce overtime on someone, especially someone with their own child.

Well the meter had run out hadn't it? You were on her time - the cm probably had things to do, the kids wanted to go home, so she had them ready and waiting to go with the least fuss possible.

I expect the last thing the cm wanted was you to come in and want to chat about their day, have to prise the children away from their game/the TV, get shoes on, deal with them playing up as you get them out the door... Suddenly it's 30 minutes lost instead of just 10.

Even if she was making a point, apologise and don't be late again. Maybe she'd had a problem with persistent lateness in the past and wanted to nip it in the bud.

I agree SOCD. If 10 minutes throws the whole evening into disarray then probably the CM in question needs to rethink a bit. It's not beyond the realms of possibility that, with the best will in the world, a parent could be held up by unforeseen circumstances. Surely it's realistic to plan for that?

I think it's a bit odd that they were outside. I understand the point of them being in their hats and coats but I can't see any reason why they couldn't have sat on the sofa and waited. Like you say, it does sound a bit like the meter had run out.

From the title, I thought you'd found your kids sitting on their own in front of a locked up house thumbing lifts....

If your three year old and five year old are anything like mine, then getting on coats can easily take ten minutes chat. Presumably everyone was tired and wanted to wind up the day as efficiently as possible.

In my culture, kids with coats indoors are a no no. The thinking is they'll get hot and sweaty being overwrapped indoors, and then catch a chill when they go out. I would have been more p'ed to find them muffled up and uncomfortable indoors while the CM did her own thing.

To me, she sounds pretty caring, tbh, to sit with them and wait, even when 'the meter had run out'. Have you thought that maybe your five year old saw all the other kids being picked up - or even looked at the time - and started to get upset that you weren't there? Getting dressed might have been an effective distraction from sitting on the bottom step worrying about whether you'd forgotten. since you hadn't phoned, the CM would reasonably expect you to be there in minutes not hours.

When my Dd was at nursery, me and another mum were always cutting it to the wire, picking up at six on the dot. I swear, 5.55 penultimate child, Dd was happily playing. However, if the other mum had pipped me to the post, and it was 5.59 and Dd was the last one, I'd always find her sitting like a little orphan, big sad eyes, holding the key workers hand.

I think it all depends upon the CMs manner and demeanour. Was she offhand and slightly abrupt with you - suggesting that she was perhaps making a point? (not good, uber petty - particularly as you have only been late once and are generally early)... Or was she quite relaxed and normal?

well... you need to talk to her.
it might be that she had got them all ready at 6pm and then when you didn't arrive she said, "let's go wait in the garden and watch for mummy"
and it meant they were all ready to just jump in the car with you

had you called to let her know what time you would bet here?>

The CM may also have thought she was helping, the thought process could have gone ''Mummy having had a delay at the end of her day, might need to get on to start bath and bedtime - let's get the children at the starting blocks so that Mummy can whip straight home without any further delays''

??

It's nowhere near dark at 6pm here.

im often doing stuff after work, whether going shopping for weekly food or getting petrol/doctors appointment/gym class etc so yes i would want/need to leave on time most nights

tbh i dont think the cm did anything wrong - the kids had coats on and she was outside with them - if you had come in then there would have been another 10mins of fluffing/coats on etc :)

Southeastastra

"who would organise to go out so soon after expecting them to go home"

People who have to rush to sainsburys to grab something for supper, people who have to pick someone up from the train station, people who have courses, people who have arranged to meet a friend for a drink/cinema/meal.

I am a nanny and not a childminder so slightly different but if I work till 5.30 then I am more than able to make plans as off 5.40 - giving me 10 minutes for a handover and getting somewhere - there have been a coule of occassions due to my boss running late that I have stood at the front door ready to leg it as soon as she gets in as I will miss the start of a film at the cinema, will be late for babysitting etc etc. I am dedicated to the children in my care but come 5.30 then I will be out the door unless booked for overtime - and I expect a call/text.

The rudeness, if any, would seem to lie in the childminder letting the parent see that she, too, has a life outside of business hours. But maybe she does?

I can't imagine healthy well dressed children coming to any harm from waiting in the garden for 10 minutes- how is this any worse than having to wait in the playground at school?

I'm with saintly on this - the way you have described it is not OK in my opinion. I think it comes across as rude - they could have been ready sitting inside the house, no need to 'make a point' by sitting outside.

Southeast & Cath you say you wouldn't make an appointment soon after children are due to be collected, but I work 7am-6pm so if I need to go to the doctors or vets or any other appointments they sometimes open up to 7pm so that extra 10/15mins can make a big difference, I try and let parents know if I need to be on time, but its not always possible, there should be give and take on both sides.

I've used childminders a lot (and nurseries) and would have been fairly at that. OK in the summer if they were waiting and playing outside, but sat there on a bench waiting? I wouldn't be that impressed. Inside watching TV with coats on and bags ready to go by the front door = ok to me, outside with coats on playing = fine as well, but not what you describe.

What excatly do you need to discuss with her?

I take my own children to swimming lessons one evening a week. I have informed all of my parents that I need to leave at XX'o clock, sometimes they are still late, (sometimes the children end up coming with me and parents have to track me down) and I will get the children ready to go, sometimes loading my own children into the car, so there is no fussing when mum/dad arrives, otherwise it will be another 5-10mins trying to get them sorted when I really need to be leaving.

There was a thread about charging when parents are late recently. Its very difficult to find a good compromise between flexible and being a pain.

All our local nurseries/pre-schools have the children stood waiting in their coats with their lunch boxes, so if parents are 10/15mins late, as well as getting charged a hefty late collection fee, they will be standing there all that time, as the nursery won't take them out of their coats only to do it again when mum arrives.

Do you have an agreement with her with regards to late collection? You may find on certain evenings she has something else on and needs to leave.

As an ex-childminder, this is not something I would have done. If I was in a rush, I may have got their coats and shoes on and sat with them with a book/TV until their parent arrived. I see no need to sit in the front garden and it really doesn't seem very kind to be bundling the children into the car as soon as the parent arrived. Doesn't make the children feel very welcome IMHO. Everyone can be late now and again and personally, I wouldn't book an appointment which required me to leave the house as soon as the parent is due. Must just be me though...

You were late - that's probably why they looked miserable!

I had to do this when a parent was late (having chosen to book an MOT on the way home as it turned out). I was late for my first aid course and by handing child over in the front garden I was able to jump straight in my car and not lose any more time over it. I could have been asked to resit the whole course again (and pay again).

the problem with "circumstances beyond control" is that parents don't often have timem to notify the childminder so the childminder doesn't have time to re-arrange any other commitments they may have that day.

i think it's a bit off, and who would organise to go out so soon after expecting them to go home.

sorry to go against the grain