My chilminder put my kids out in her garden because I was 10 mins late

lol.. had exactly he same situation with a lovely parent on tuesday.. had booked an eyebrow wax.. yes total indulgance.. she called me that she would be late.. had to cancel my treatment.. but kept a smile on my face and text back. no worries..

this parent is usually on time and pays on the dot.. shit happens and I run a business.. thats life.. clients are money and I AM NOT A NURSERY SO DONT CLOSE ON THE DOT.. THATS MY SELLING POINT..

it does sometimes impact on my own kids but hey am a working mum just like my mindees mums they leqrn to accept it .... if it was happening all the time thats different and would charge or re negotiate conract...

She may have been desperate to get somewhere...for example, yesterday I finished work at 6 and so had a parents evening booked in for 6.30. At 6 o clock I would have had the childrens coats on ready to go so that I too could be ready to go straight away...you dont know that she would always do this, it may have just been on this 1 occasion. If mindees were due to be picked up at 6 at the latest then at 6 I would put their hats and coats on, and actually I think I would go in the front arden with them...better than them sweating inside, I think youre being a bit precious really, you were late after all.

a nursery is work place and is not a home.

when a children finish her place of work becomes her and family home

therefore a nursery is still a safe place for a child
a home is not
her family mightwant to cook the family meal not in a un child friendly way

her family might to watch /play game that was not child friendly

they might be someone in house that is not
CRB check
so the safely thing to do is take kids outside

My cm wouldn't do this. Depends on your children I suppose, but unless there was an activity and it was all done under the radar, this would have made my dd anxious.

Think it depends on tone - could be ok, could be horrible for the kids. How was she with you when you turned up?

Just curious how would you all react if it had been a nursery not a childminder? Honestly interested, as a nursery manager our parents would be less than impressed if this happened.

I think she could have waited inside with them and distracted them. This just brought it to their attention that you were late and it was hardly their fault.

I honestly think this all depends on how the CM was, not about being in the garden with coats on. Honestly, it's much worse for them to be sat indoors with coats and shoes on as that is not appropriate clothing for indoors and they could get too hot. I personally don't allow shoes on in the house so if I did get them ready, we'd go outside - nothing wrong with this as they are in OUTDOOR clothing!

If she was huffy and stuff then I'd probably be annoyed but if she was polite and as she normally is, I'd think nothing of it. She could have been trying to be helpful, she could have been in a rush for some reason. I recently was outside with a mindee all ready for her mum, I don't normally need to do this but I had to go immediately to the Drs with my ds2 as the Dr was waiting for me to get there straight after I finished as it was a last min appointment. It's the only way I could get an appointment and I have every right to book something for a time that I should be able to make! I rarely do it but haven't much choice with the course times we have, I often have to leave very soon after closing and I don't get to have dinner until it finishes (usually gone 9). Am I not supposed to book any courses ever because someone might be late? .

If the CM was otherwise nice and it's just because they were outside then I'd think nothing of it. If she was off then I'd need to know how she was with you to decide what I think.

danethe4th - same here - it was a lovely sunny day and even by 6ish still warm (with fleece )and had to tell them at 6.10 pm we were going to get mb from the station

mimosa - did you call and say you were going to be 10mins late? if not then by the cm view, she prob thought you were 30mins late as normally pick up 20mins early iyswim

Also, my days are often 7-6.30 to be flexible to parents (I get paid a daily rate so not more for long hours) so 10 mins here and there make a big difference!

Did you let the CM know that you'd be late? As I'd imagine that that would have made a big difference to her actions. If you are normally 15-20 minutes early then effectively you were 25-30 mins late (realise not on contracted hours, but on common practice), so its likely that she'd already tidied up for the night and got them ready to leave, so 'looking for Mummy' was something appropriate to do and would keep them entertained.

defineme, don't get me wrong, I don't advocate lateness at all and I'm not saying for a moment that it's acceptable to just rock up late every day and expect a happy CM, of course not. But, the very fact that someone is using a CM means that they are also doing a job and they might not be able to down tools at 5 on the dot once in a while. Now ok, then they should take that into consideration when organising their childcare but if you go into business as a CM then I think you have to half expect that there might be the occasional hiccup and to allow for that. Charge by all means and charge double or triple but seems daft to make arrangements for 5 minutes after your mindee is due to go. That's asking for trouble.

Anyway, I guess we're getting off the point:)

Rockbird
childminders in my area get paid £3.50 per child per hour and I think it's reasonable to expect that the childminders, who do a good job for a very low wage, to be able to finish work on time. Every other low wage job I've had I've been out the shop/pub door on the dot. In the job I do now I'm fine with staying late for all sorts of reasons.

It's also reasonable to understand that sometimes people are late. So I don't think the op was being unreasobale by being late.

I often wait outside with kids if we're being picked up by someone because once I've got their shoes on it seems easier.

I would have just assumed she was on her way somewhere.

I think it's really hard understanding that your child's carer is not just doing it for the joy of it, but I'm sure that's part of the reason.

Don't be downhearted op- I think it was a very minor incident and doesn't reflect how your childminder feels about your kids.

I think it says a lot about how you feel about your life and I'm sorry you feel conflicted about having to work.

I would have been really pleased that they were all in their coats and ready to go to make a quick exit.

If I was 25-30 minutes later than normal to pick up my kids (I know you were only ten minutes "late" but you said you normally pick them up earlier), which I am sometimes, then I know they would have been more tired and hungry than normal and I'd have been rushing to get them home and get dinner into them (my two were hideous last year at this age when in need of food!). I'd be really happy that the childminder had got them all ready for me. That would have helped me out a lot.

Yes Rockbird I agree, but maybe this occasion was the exception for the childminder.

Anyone who can finish work on the dead of 5pm or whenever their contracted hours are is very very lucky. It is the exception not the rule, even though it should be the rule.

Interesting thread.

I am a childminder. You have to look at this from two view points. As a childminder I have to deal with parents arriving late. Some times its due to the traffic sometimes due to chatting with a friend. It can be frustrating when this happens over and over again. I would not have had the kids outside but I may have got them ready for collection.

Its manners also for parents to let the childminder know that they are going to collect late. Sometimes a parent may arrive and not apologise for lateness.

From a parent point of view it looks as though after 6 pm the childminder switched off.

You needs to look at the whole situation to whether the childminder is giving a overall good service rather than judging just this case.

My own children were still out playing at 6.30 last night, where abouts are you as it may have been a bit chilly( mine had t shirts on!) but it wasn't dark.
I Can't see the problem, she may have sat her own children down for dinner and that is their private time, any number of reasons that she was waiting.
She also could have done it as she understood you were running late and wanted to save you any more time.

how do you know that the cm didn't deal with OP with grace and cheer?

more extrapolation

Well has nobody thought that 10mins late is that amount that it is difficult to decide whether to take the time to text/call as it may make you later. If you are driving in traffic you should really pull over to make a call or send a text which is not always practical and loses you time anyway.

You may not have known you would be late when you set out.

When I used a childminder I used to pay until 6.30pm every day but pick up by 6pm all the time. The 30mins was for my peace of mind and also for the every odd occasion when I had a meeting in town and being back by 6pm was a rush.

The problem with that though was that the CM happily took the pay for the xtra hour but was obviously put out on the odd occasion I had to use that extra half hour. I would always warn her in the morning if I would be later then 6pm and she rarely acknowledged it with good grace. She obviously wanted the money but wasn't keen on actually always being available until 6.30pm which is what I paid her for. So it can go both ways.

The op has siad that she regularly picks up 20 mins early so a one-off of 10 mins late should be dealt with gracefully and cheerfully by a cm in my opinion. Persistent lateness is a completely different matter.

A one-off is fine. A one-off with a phone call is even better. But to regularly take 15 minutes out of my time without asking is not ok. How would it be if I were to take 15 minutes from the other end of the day and regularly turn up late? It wouldn't work at all. I expect the same as I give. If I am stuck in traffic then the least I will do is ring and give warning.

Children should not be sitting around inside with their coats on. They were safe, they were dressed in the clothing that YOU CHOSE as appropriate outdoor clothing, and they were supervised.

I really don't see what the problem with them waiting outside is - it's 6pm in the UK in autumn, not the middle of the night in sub zero temperatures.

And if you're paid hourly, then you work the hours you're paid for. When I've worked in pubs, shops, nurseries - if I'm paid til 5 then I leave at 5.

But what if they were taking an opportunity to learn about the sky at night what with there being a newish moon AND Jupiter to look at?

we can't tell without more info, really

Persistent lateness is different of course. But we're assuming unless told different that this was a one off.

And the rest of us working mortals are doing what? I take the point, of course I do, but that's life. I finish work at 5.15. I rarely leave the office at 5.15 because there's always that last phone call to take, or that last email to answer or meeting to finish. I'm not advocating lateness or saying you should like it but you don't get special protection from these things, you're part of the workforce same as the rest of us. I know that leaving work at 5.15 gets me home for 6.30. So I never schedule anything before 7 because the odds are that I won't get there for 6.30. It only takes some roadworks or a colleague asking a question to cause a delay. It's not extra time I get paid for, it's time I don't get to spend with DD but that's what happens when you work.

And I don't think anyone is saying that the CM in question should have filled the time with structured play or whatever, but sitting them on the sofa with their coats on is understandable. Making them wait outside is not.