would you employ this nanny?

OP said that she had little trust in the nanny to start with - it's good that the nanny can look for another job now, rather than bond with child etc then get sacked for some other imagined failing.

Spiders probbly crawl on the buggy if its in the garage - do they wipe their 8 feet before doing so?

i wonder if op ever puts her baby on the ground - whether grass/carpet or friends house

i really dont think what the nanny did was such a bad thing - would you have preferred her to leave your dd in the house alone (but obviously NOT on the floor ) while she put the buggy up

more to the point, if the buggy is in the garage,why wasnt it already put up?

poor nanny to lose a job, but lucky nanny to have escaped working for someone who really quite controlling

as my mb says a dirty child means they had fun and thats what baths and washing machines are for :)

I am afraid rach I am starting to agree. It was the supercilious trumping of "cleanliness" with "hygiene" that turned the corner.

OMG that poor nanny had a lucky escape!

Nah, she's hunting for a new nanny....

I think the OP may have left the thread some time ago when she didn't like what those of us who have employed nannies or who are nannies, were telling her! The biggest adjustment I had to make in my thinking when I went back to work (all those years ago!) was to realise that no nanny/nursery/childminder was ever going to look after my child exactly as I would, didn't mean that different was wrong, just that it wasn't always the way I would do something. I think the OP hasn't reached that point yet or has very high expectations of a nanny on her first day.

So because your nanny put your 13mth on the floor you are going to sack her

seems to me you are very controlling / the nanny didn't do anything dangerous and tbh better that she had your baby in her sight then left alone in the house

you certainly wouldn't employ me as I let our babs play on the kitchen floor that has dog hair/mud etc on it

good luck with finding a new nanny

Can I please point out that if you want a nanny you are going to have to work on your communication?

I've made mistakes/not met unexplained expectations during my career, but because the people i've worked for have taken the time to explain things I've learnt from them and feel I'm a much better nanny as a result.

You chose this nanny for a reason and I can't see how being clearer with your expectations and then seeing how she matches them over a probationary period is going to hurt. There was no neglect or abuse that I saw in your thread.

Also remember that some nannies may just step back and let you get on with it while you are there (it's what i do- I see my role as supporting the parent not filling their role whilst they are present). That may be why she appears 'sloppy' or uninterested etc.

I think this is maybe a symptom of your unease about leaving your baby (totally understandable) rather than a problem with this particular nanny. You're unlikely to find someone who feels exactly the same as you about all issues - as you can see from the other posts this isn't an issue of "common sense" but personal preference. Some people wouldn't bat an eyelid at putting a 13 month down on a garage floor, some would!

If you continue employing this nanny (or any nanny) you have to think carefully about what you can let go, and what is really important to you - and then tell the nanny about the important things :)

Am interested to hear the answer to Phipps's question, because that's exactly what I do - let my baby crawl around on the garage floor whilst I set the buggy up...I'm much too grubby, me!

Obviously you have totally made up your mind already. There is no need to ask us.

She has great references so it won't take her long to find a new job. Perhaps you should give her some wages as you have already employed her. Obviously don't let her look after your baby whilst you search for a new nanny as it could happen again.

Just out of interest, what do you do with the baby while you put the buggy up?

It depends how filthy your garage is.

If fairly clean but there happen to be bins there, then I think it's perfectly reasonable to put the baby down.
If it's really filthy then you have a point, but also you need to clean your floor.

I have a feeling this is more to do with you not wanting to return to work and leave your PFB (big assumption I know, and sorry if that's not the case).

Was the buggy incident the only thing that made you uneasy about employing her? You have mentioned her laid-back attitude and other unspecified incidents but this is the only one you have actually described. On the face of it, if you are unhappy with this single episode which the rest of us (nannies and seasoned nanny employers both) do not think is particularly serious, perhaps you need to chill out a bit. Nannynick makes some good points in his post which I think might be at the heart of the problem.

Amber,

You are the employer so it is up to you to set the parameters. On the other hand, a nanny has to be regarded as a senior level employee as she is actually going to be in charge of your child. In that sense you have to find someone you can trust and not micro manage them.

Personally, I always put our baby down to crawl in our garage whilst I assemble the buggy. Once they can roll over/crawl, toddlers are going to get dirty. And exposure to bacteria helps them build their immune system the "right" way, i.e bacterial and viral defences rather than an over active response to toxins (which leads to asthma and other allergies).

However it is your child and your money to do what you want with so you must only employ someone that you are comfortable with.

This would make me think too but maybe the nanny wanted to show she could manage rather than ask you to hold the baby while she put the buggy up. She will have known she will be alone one day and might have thought you would question how she will manage when you are not there. Surely at 13 months it is an umbrella buggy which takes seconds to put up?

I think you owe it to her to give her a chance and say to her you don't want the baby put on the garage floor while she puts the buggy up and can she make sure she doesn't do it in the future. If you get rid of her for this one mistake (in your opinion) she will think you are crazy.

I also don't think you are giving her a fair chance to be honest as your posts just screams out you don't want her.

OP you do sound like you're looking for any reason not to hire this nanny (any nanny?). As Nick said some buggies are a real pita to put together. And maybe she thought that putting bubs on the floor was what you do? Maybe she didn't want to seem incompetent or fussy by asking you to hold the baby as she knew you would be gone tomorrow and she would have to handle stuff alone? Maybe she has a pack of antibacterial wipes in her bag and intended to wipe little ones hands after? Maybe she is relaxed about dirt and feels its essential to help build a strong immune system? I personally allow my charge to get filthy especially if we are in the park or garden. It all washes off and in my mind the world is a wonderful place and should be explored with no fear of dirt and germs. Of course I wash hands before eating etc. I just don't make an issue of getting dirty.

I think tbh your nanny has had a lucky escape. She might be "sloppy" in your mind but you might also be anal in hers. Not a good match.

Our garage floor is not too unhygenic I would care if a baby crawled on in for a few min, as long as I was looking out for anything going in the mouth. But then, I would let them go in gardens/parks or pavements, once I'd had a quick look. She may have been quite flustered with you there trying to work a buggy for the first time. Personally, I'd just have an honest open chat about what you expect, where you put the baby included. It doesn't sound like a terrible child-care crime to me!

I'm not sure you will necessarily get the 'perfect' nanny if you swop this one in (the next one may give food in a way you don't like, or chats to her boyfriend, or whatever), but of course you have the right to employ who you want. I wouldn't personally give up on someone for one thing, she is obviously on a learning curve and may be mortified about the incident herself when she looks back on it, but perhaps there is more to this than you have told us.

I would wonder if you really want a nanny.
I am wondering how you are going to manage to go to work tomorrow, without having childcare.
If you were not there, so baby could not be given to you, I am wondering how you would have wanted your nanny to sort the problem of the buggy not being ready for use.
Buggies are horrible - why not use a carrier? Buggies are horrible if you don't know the buggy - can take many attempts to work out how to open/close come buggies.

Maybe part of the issue here is that you don't want to leave your LO, so this gives you an excuse to not to go back to work... is that a factor?

oh blimey, really? at 11mos mine were walking and using the bins as drums... and paddling in the dog's water, and anything else they could get into if i had to look the other way for a nanosecond!

and the gp's baby next door would sit in the garden and eat dirt... they have all grown up with good healthy immune systems!

i think you have both had a lucky escape as the relationship was doomed from the start. hopefully you haven't kept her hanging on for too long unnecessarily and she hadn't turned down any other offers to take your job.

I think the issue is " i have lost all little trust i had in her to start with" - which implies you don't really want her as a nanny (and whether that is down to her or down to you and your feelings about employing a nanny I can't judge) and are therefore looking to find fault where ever you can.

Feel sorry for her though if your ambivalence and prevaricating means she's turned down other work.

Owwww I wrote this huge post and the iPhone ate it :(

Basically I would personally let her stay for the probationary period (assuming you have one in your contract). She might just be less fussed about dirt than you in general and more careful now she knows your feelings on the issue.

That said you need to trust your nanny 100% and if you don't it'll never work. Maybe you're not a good fit overall - you mentioned something about her being too laid back and that kind of difference in attitudes probably won't improve. Did you have an extended trial day as part of the interview? Is hygiene something you emphasised?

Out of interest what do you do with the buggy/your DC when you have to go out?

Oh crumbs you sound awfully high maintenance.

You're completely overreacting - 'the welbeing of my child', I mean, is the child now in intensive care OR did a bit of dirt actually do no harm?

if you have high standards of hygiene, I can't imagine you have a truly filthy garage

But if you're not happy with her, best let her go now. When do you go back to work?

It's a floor, not a needle disposal bin in Harlem. You are being very silly. babies need the sensory input of flooring other than carpets. IMHO it's neglectful to deny a child the floor just because you haven't Dettol wiped it. Your baby is 13 months not 13 weeks!