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Original poster

My non-sleeping mindee

40 replies

Saltire · 08/09/2010 10:07

is wearing me down.
I didn't have them yesterday due to me being ill,a nd on Monday he actually slept for more than 10 mintues in the 10 hour day, so was overall a far happier child.
He and his brother are due here at 10am, and the mum has already texted me to say he's been up since 4.45 am (he's 10 months), and hasn't slept yet,a nd has been screaming with tiredness since 9amHmm

I am breaking out in a sweat already.
He won't sleep unless beign pushed in parm, in the upright position.
He won't sleep in cot, as he screams till he's sick, ditto if I lie the buggy flat.
If he's not asleep within 1 1/2 hour of beign pushed around, we have to stop so he can have food (I don't think I have ever seen a 10 motnh old eat asmuchGrin), he needs food every 1 1/1/2 - 2 hours). Then he'll poo, so we have to stop again and change the nappy, and back to square one again.
If he doesn't sleep, then he won't let me down, he literally screams till he's sick if I try to sit him on floor, or even put him in high chair so i can cook!

Really could do with some tactics to get him to sleepGrin[

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Bobbiesmum · 12/09/2010 01:49

I have not posted on here before but really felt I needed to reply to this. Everything you have said about this poor poor baby is screaming SILENT REFLUX!!
I say this as mother whose ds had exactly the same symptoms but also as a doctor as I was able to recognise them earlier. The earlier suggestions re cranial osteopath plus a visit to the gp sound needed.
However I will probably be vilified and banished from these boards for saying this but (deep breath.....)
I found the implication that the baby does not sleep due to the parents really upsetting, in all likelihood this baby is in agony from his reflux and the poor parents will be desperate!
Also, why is he left in the cot until he cries until he is sick (did the parents ask for this?)
And (this is where I really will be hunted down and shot) but I'm not sure I would be happy about anyone using the Internet to post on mumsnet whilst caring for

my children. Sorry if this offends but been through all of this with ds and it is very stressful!

ThatScrotumCat · 08/09/2010 22:14

Oh no, poor you. That does sound hard Sad

The poor little thing is probably exhausted but too anxious to sleep. Classic sign of separation anxiety.

You never know, it might because his parents have used some form of controlled crying/sleep training where he`s been left to cry for long periods without response. Resulting in a baby who is too scared to sleep.

Have you tried lying with him, letting him snuggle in, reassuring him that he`s safe & not alone?

I think CC in a 10 month old is cruel, he`s too young to manipulate, he needs comfort. And a trip to a CO is a very good idea too.

Hope the situation improves soon as no-one is happy as it is.

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/09/2010 21:23

If it is the same family that I'm thinking of then the parents have made a rod for their own backs

ESP if the older ds only sleeps on sofa. Parents havnt renforced a proper sleep/bedtime routine and given in for an easy life

I doubt if things will improve and if you don't want younger boy then doubt mum will still use you for the older one

course if I have family mixed up then ignore the above

CarGirl · 08/09/2010 21:06

I think you need to talk to the parents and ask if this is normal at home and how you can work together to make him a happier, more sleeping child.

I would be thinking cranial osteopath and possible silent reflux. My non sleeper was silent reflux - didn't sleep at all during the day from 6 weeks until the treated her at 6 months, nowt wrong with her weight or appetite either Wink

Danthe4th · 08/09/2010 20:59

Perhaps something like cranial osteopathy would help, or baby massage to try and help him relax.
Whats he like at baby groups?

TheBreastmilksOnMe · 08/09/2010 19:53

No mindees would be preferable to the one you have. I've been there before, and had my fingers burned.

You have 4 options:

  1. Carry on as you are and hope that things improve.
  1. Terminate the contract with the younger one and just keep on his older brother.
  1. Terminate the contract with both of them and hope that other mindees will come along soon. It means accepting that sometimes, some children are just not ready for care outside of the home and just letting it go. He isn't settling and it's time to admit defeat.
  1. The last option involves the co-operation of the parents and means sitting down with them and having a serious talk about an angle that you can both come from to tackle this issue. Does he really sleep at home? Is there a problem that he has that no-one has picked up yet?
Original poster
Saltire · 08/09/2010 15:42

We have jsut walked 1.5 miles to school, 1.5 miles back again, followed immedaitely by 1.5 miles round the base we live on, he fell asleep at the end of the street on the way home and has just woken up - 8.5 minutes. So 16 minutes sleep since 4.45am this morning, and his brother has now fallen asleep on the floor but will be woken up now by the brother who will scream blue murder from now till 5.30 when his mum gets here. The brother will also scream blue murder becasue he hates being woken from a sleep. Oh joys.
The little one, for the ntire wlak, was rubbing his eyes, pulling his hair, doing those long blinks that tired children do, but would not sleep

They are the only 2 I have, so if I give notice then I won't have any mindees

OP posts:
TheBreastmilksOnMe · 08/09/2010 14:14

I had a 10mth old like this and TBH it's a difficult age as it's when separation anxiety is at it's peak. He screamed the whole time and in the end I was a nervous wreck but I stuck it out for a good 10 weeks and suffered a miscarriage in the meantime (stress related?) but in the end I just ended the contract with the mother as it was affecting my mental health.He was a full-timer as well so not a decision I took lightly. Best thing I ever did.

Do you really need this mindee? If you can manage without then I would get rid, to put it bluntly. At the end of the day, it's your usiness and if it's affecting you in such a way that you dread each morning then what is the point?

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/09/2010 14:08

i think i rem you posting about this family before, the sofa and did bit ring a bell

i send pity and luck and lots of it

Original poster
Saltire · 08/09/2010 14:02

blondes - he is a big child - 10 months old, but wearing 18-24 motnh stuff. His older brother on the other hand is 2 1/2 and wears 12-18month stuff.

His mum works full time and he has been at home with the dad, and I think the dad has been "anything for an easy life" type. The older child will only sleep on the sofa with a blanket over him, he has a hissy fit if I try and put him in the bed. Of course older child isn't getting a sleep here either becasue we are walking miles - 4 1/2 on Monday to try and get the little one off to sleep.

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 08/09/2010 13:32

poor you

does he sleep at home with the mum

i think he needs to be sleep trained but obv both you and mum need to do the same thing and if mum wont/hasnt done anything about it then you have no chnace if she is carrying/rocking/pushing him all the time

its def harder for you as you have your own/other children to think about

why does he need so much to eat/could he have tummy ache as has too much food and is uncomfortable?

Original poster
Saltire · 08/09/2010 13:00

Was about to type that he's sleeping now, but too late, he's awake again screaming
He slept from 12.50 till now, 12.59

OP posts:
underpaidandoverworked · 08/09/2010 12:39

totally sympathise as I have a mindee 3 days a wk who can go without sleep for the full 10.5 hrs he's here!!! He's on the go all the time and by the time he goes home I am buggered Sad

There isnt a lot you can do if that's the way he is, though I've found that putting mine in a car seat that I can rock sometimes - and I mean sometimes! - sends him off. He's such an inquisitive little chap I think he's frightened he might miss something if he goes to sleep Grin

Original poster
Saltire · 08/09/2010 10:15

I can't carry him, I tried, I borrowed both a sling and a backpack for him and he is so heavy, I couldn't walk the next day. Plus, he didn't like the backpack and was sick onme with his screaming

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 08/09/2010 10:09

Get a sling. An ergo is a good bet, or a patapum is a cheaper option. My ds was the same and liked to be carried.

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