NEW nanny-but looking somewhat unreliable-opinions please.

Well I am calm now, except for a headache, boss has been kind and will try to accomodate me to go PART TIME (yippee-I think), but I had to wait ages for a word as he was so busy, so I've been extra stressed for last 24 hours. Now just wondering how to enjoy being a mum of the part time SAHM variety without getting deeply depressed and another slipped disc (not really my strong point so far!). Hrmm. I'm thinking...outings? Parks? could I manage a toddler-mum swim at Finchley Lido, I heard the pools are easy to get into there; chance for a chinwag with a grownup while they play? oops that's not work! Don't have many friends around here really anyway. Yet...?

So here's another clause for the Mythical IDEAL CONTRACT-no non-emergency mobile phone calls-in or out-while on duty? Or what? Even while I was actually sacking the latest this morning (more stress all round), with my mumbles about "being changed to" part time (I wanted my keys back and no aggro before I paid up for the one day), her phone calls kept coming. Feel like a total dinosaur in this, but your employer is paying dearly for your full attention, and it's not just the disrespect to me, it's the lack of attention to my toddler as we waited by a busy road on the first day, as yet more Very Important Calls had to be made/taken. One who had constant calls during her interview got short shrift, but this one didn't have any that particular time I guess. I did try hard to screen on the phone, interviewing is shattering, but the key points have to be pretty flexible-like, the mature lady who lives across the road, was a chef, but is Chinese so I guess Italian-style pasta isn't a big item in her house-as well as starting right away to play with girls, be shown their photo albums etc., (they like her), she was interested in the details of cooking the pasta, and showed more interest in my family and household than any of the younger ones ever have. So she's not as daft as I made her sound. (And no mobile calls!). I am still going to try and get her to do some jobs for me, when I am home, to start to get a local backup system. My friend nearby was a star yesterday, collecting dd1 from school, drawing and cooking pancakes with her and her own 2 littler ones. Maybe she can do mummy lessons!

sigh

I'm quite well provided for at work, in that their policy is that they HAVE to consider for parents of children under 6, and give reasons for refusal, if I want to go part time-but it is permanent if I do it so officially. Doubt I will ever want that. I also can make less-official arrangements with my boss on a temporary basis, even could do that for a year or 2 which would free up enough money to get some clerical help to fill in for that part of my work-he is likely to opt for that as he is already going down the "official" route with another staffer, he said no to her so now has no choice with her as the grounds for refusing were deemed insufficient. I hate to do this to him and the place I work, and I hate housework and looking after kids a lot more than my own paid work.

Maybe my local lady will become my right hand and substitute gran, if I take off enough time to train her. My friend got one like that and it made life 100% better. She already tried to see how I cooked pasta (alien food to her, not in her repertoire ...yet!) while investigating (nicely) the place and kids yesterday.

I think my main problem is I have to pay the lowest you can get away with, and it still is costing too much, so I worry. I got my best one through gumtree and would have her back in a second, but she had to attend to her own family. I went on my instinct, but this time I felt I just HAD to have a native english speaker, since one was on offer, and I guess that just blinded me to the timekeeping problem hints. I got so tired of having the same old problems with communication. And it WAS nice to hear some real banter going on with the kids, including stories of friends etc., no laborious pauses to struggle for words, or grammar so far off it is incomprehensible, or giving up before getting the thought OUT-frustration all round. At least there is a definite spark of kindness there too. I haven't had any real doubts about their safety thank heavens. There were some real cold fish in my living room the last few weeks, dds are adorable even if I say so myself and would melt most hearts, but not some of my interviewees.

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She was clearly instructed that she must collect dd on time, and what time to leave; also observed the nursery manager is dragon-so, timekeeping is the hurdle. I cannot teach this in absentia. Right that's it! good bye major stress, look out for majormum. Time to tackle/persuade/not distress long-suffering boss....uh-oh. Good threads on that, suggestions, anyone?

Well, that is a good question hunkermunker. But would you do this job for kids not your own? I wouldn't, but I might have done it at her age while waiting for something better to happen. I think the majority doing this job casually have something "wrong" with them, which may be as little as a language barrier to work on, but if that or another obvious hurdle isn't there, then beware! They may well be simply unused to actual paid employment, and unlikely to GET used to it, since they don't understand what it entails.

she's done nothing but eat, prepare her own snacks (3 so far), and talk on the phone, apart from tasks I have set.

I noticed she hadn't left and it was time to head to nursery-went to investigate and found she was cooking pasta, and could I look after it as it had 5 min to go? o. kay......
I expressed surprise as I had already showed her the rather inferior sandwich material for dd2's lunch today-dd2' favorite food is pasta and this is the first thing she tells anyone who will listen..."oh no, that's MY lunch". Well she won't get much peace if she doesn;t want to share it, is my only consolation!

Having taken a days annual leave (v. precious now) to train and supervise new nanny (actually this was her chance to redeem herself!), after she slowly followed me (didn't even offer to push buggy)while I dropped the kids off at their 2 respective places , then stood waiting for me to open door, with her key in her hand (she's already been shown how to do this all as well for 2 days by last nanny!). I have spent the last 30 minutes waiting while she ate breakfast (at 9:45) and through 2 personal phone calls. I only got 2 word, non-committal answers when I asked if she knew what to put in a first aid kit, or how and when to phone the emergency services, after her first aid course last week. So, I have decided not to bother too hard trying to show her stuff- I'm goin to put all my energies into persuading my boss into me going part time! Local lady seemed lovely and knows what work is, but english is very rudimentary. Can't have both?!?!?

on the plus side, finally getting through all the spam to the bottom of my email after 2 weeks on hol, I got to one who sounds like a nice "granny" type who lives in the next street! even if no good for the work side, I bet I could get some good babysitting and emergency cover if she pans out (looks like we will need that). Also good friend and neighbor across street with boy now in Reception has offered to help if delicate Florina decides she can't face the day.... Hope springs eternal, eh?

Thanks nannynick, I guess you are male! I tried to get a male ap once but he was not interested in care of a child still at nappy stage. Unfortunately DH won't hear of a male-though his close and surreptitious scrutiny of new lady has turned up suspicious scarring on arms so now we are very panicked. I was too busy talking and trying to sort out 3 things at once all the time, to notice things like that. (He always finds something to fret about, I assume he always looks over people like this, but usually doesn't feel the need to inform me of his findings!). Last nanny is now gone, with tearful farewells-she was good but her family circumstances destroyed that. So now I am trying to arrange to work at home this week so I can supervise new girl closely. Our local nurseries are pants, and the local childminders I have seen don't seem much better-either they open too late in the morning or are too far away for us to get to work, or are overcrowded with rough older kids-our girls are quiet and the eldest a bit of a crybaby, he and I would prefer to starve than put them in there.

I guess I will have to take a leave of absence until I find the right solution. Hope my boss can be patient with me.