Anxious about my chosen chilminder

Awwww, {{{big hugs}}} you'll set me off soon! I've had to hug new parents who are in a state at leaving their babies but I'm sure you'll be fine. 2 of my mindees started at 8 weeks old and one of the poor mums used to be crying at every drop off, bless her (hormones all over the place), yet the one who left their 5 week old was fine (although I had their sibling). All parents are different but I certainly do as much as I can to reassure wobbly parents and I'm sure your childminder would be happy to discuss any concerns you may have x

Any other issues you want to raise, or come back later if you have more questions, yes?

have a cup of tea and blow your nose

Hmmm, was itclean apart from the mess? She could have just been having a bad day. My cm has a touchy house, thousands of kids, but it is always immaculate (apart from the toys, piles of washing, normal household stuff). What I'm trying to say is it always feels bright and welcoming, I think that's important.

The naptime.... to be honest that isn't going to fit with any cm unless she doesn't have other kids (and if that is the case, it might not be for long). If you want them to get out and about, then they need that 10-12 slot when most stuff goes on in between school runs. Wouldn't a short nap say 9.30-10, then long nap after lunch 1-3 work? That seems to work for most 1 year olds?

Why don't you check out the other option you mention, then make a decision? You need something!

oh at both being veggies, that has hilaired me immensely

It's okay to be precious as long as you know you are being precious, IYSWIM

[hug]

Enjoy uni, whatever you decide! I would honestly give it a go. If your DS is happy there, who gives two hoots about some dirty dishes?

It must be very hard leaving DC3 when you've had total control with the other two. But he will be fine - and so will you.

ah now are the bedrooms used for minding?

my children's aren't and they are TIPS; you might need to check this with her

bless you, you sound so torn

don't cry, we're trying to help you unpick this

Hmmm, tough one about the messy house. ISWYM, but on the other hand, if it had been really really tidy it might have meant that she had stuck the other mindees in front of Cbeebies for 2 hours while she did her cleaning. Which obviously wouldn't be great.

So you could interpret the messiness as a sign of her child-centredness.

Oooh, I wouldn't like dirty dishes I think. And I don't like the super-messy bedrooms thing.

The naptime I really wouldn't worry about though.

he will slot in to a new routine very easily, you would be amazed at how many children I've had adapt to sliding their nap back or forwards depending on the activities/outings planned and how the child is too on that day

Yes, you are being a bit precious! But it is totally normal if you have not gone through this with your other DCs.

If they go to a lovely toddler group at 10 and do singing etc. he will WANT to stay awake until 11.

Don't forget that their sleep changes so quickly at this age anyway.

Well he's 1 isn't he? Eventually (very soon, probably) a 10-1 naptime will change, so yes you're being a tiny bit precious, 1 year olds usually can delay their naps by 1 hour. What time does he wake in the morning, out of interest, and then needs a long nap so early (at 10)? Perhaps actually it might be good for him to eventually move to a later nap ie after lunch? Just ideas.

Look at your issues.... You say your older two love it there, so I think you need to be really sure why you're having cold feet, and that it's not just a wobble at leaving your son, rather than where you're leaving him iyswim...

No space... but do they play in the garden, or have a trip out most days to the park etc?

No stairgates... yes, that would be an ofsted requirement. I have to say, my cm has them but I never see her using them. But there's also never been a problem as she keeps a really good eye on them, so I can live with that as she is generally fab

Concrete step outside.... can't see why that's an issue?
Number of kids... 3 under 3 is hard, but do-able and within the allowed numbers (and the ratio would be unlikely to be better at nursery). If she's new to cm then maybe she'd struggle, but if she's experienced then she'll cope ok. Don't forget they're all getting older all the time, so rapidly gets easier for her.

Sleep patterns... yes she should try to accomodate your sons needs, but obviously has to balance that with the other children as well, so eg won't be able to sleep at school run time.

The best thing to do is to talk to her about all this. If she's any good, she'll hear exactly what you're saying, and should be able to set your mind at ease.

Unless there is some other reason you are uncomfortable?

Oh I'm slow And I agree even more since the state of the house comment. God, I'd LOVE to have a lovely decorated home but I just don't get time (we have tons of paperwork and stuff too which we do in our free timem) plus I'd then be upset if someone messed up my nice home so it's best to be not perfect instead Seriously, I'm not saying all but MANY comments on here about childminders NICE houses has been from parents saying they never do messy play, children can't do this and that because it might make their house messy. I'd say a scruffy house is a GOOD thing, means they aren't precious about kids ruining it :)

Scruffy yes, dirty no. But scruffy can look dirty if you're not used to it!

aarggh keep x posting

clean at the beginning of the day, by pickup it may be erm less than sparkling depending on the weather/activities

But if you are not keen then cancel

Even if it 'shouldn't' be dirty & scruffy, it might well be a bit like that because I'm sure CMs have a hard job on their hands with so many children around. Hell, I have one 2 year old toddler & my house is very often dirty/scruffy let alone if I had 3 under 3 or whatever, plus older children.

Or is the dirt/scruffiness well beyond what might be considered normal?

Why is it shit that there is another potential option?

Did you feel relieved when told you could cancel?

Oh lord, don't cry! It IS very hard. I wonder how much of this is about the CM and how much about going back to work?

If you do pull out, I wonder whether it might be worth offering to pay her something akin to a retainer? Presumably you will bump into her at school gates, potentially her DC will be in a class with your DS - you don't want any bad feeling.

naps - yes you may have to compromise on exact nap times

My house is scruffy too - because the nature of the job means that skirtings get scuffed/paintwork gets grubby, we paint it out every year but it soon looks tatty

It must be clean though, sparkling clean