dd said nanny slapped her- advice?

You said that you have never used the word slap but that your two year old said that the nanny had slapped her.

Your Nanny wouldn't have said I'm slapping you would she? It's something your little girl has heard from somewhere.

I don't know whether your Nanny did slap your child or not but if she did it is not acceptable no matter how frustrating your little girl can be.

I think you should ask her where your little girl might have heard this. IF she has anything to hide you will be able to pick it up from her response and then you can enquire further.

be careful with this. My friend's daughter, aged just two, declared to her mother "Colditz hit me when you were at the shop. She smacked me and said I was naughty and she doesn't like me."

Luckily my friend has her head screwed on and said "Where did colditz hit you?"

And the child replied "In her car, we were going to MacDonalds"

very plausible - except I don't have a car.

what age is your child. my friends daughter who is told recently told the neighbour (who babysits) that her mum hit her and then went home and told her mum that the neighbour had hit her. children sometimes just say things. i mind a we boy who is 5 and when he was a toddler he used to tell his mum i hit him luckly his mum knew he had started making stories up.

I agree with Blondes*.
Even a 'tap' is not acceptable for a nanny (even if you do that yourself).

As others said i would bring it up and see her response

Children often say things that they have seen/heard and it doesn't necessarily means these things have happened. However, it may also be that the nanny did indeed slap your DD which is IMO completely unacceptable for all sorts of reasons.

I would matter-of-factly ask & observe the nanny's response to understand what the issue was. I do think you need to sort this as you'll have it at the back of your mind otherwise.

For your peace of mind you must bring it up but it needs to be handled with great care. As an ex nanny (now mummy) I know how attacked a nanny can feel when confronted. Try asking if anything has happened whilst they have been out, dd may have seen this happening to someone else. If it does turn out she did slap your child you need to think long and hard about trusting her again, it's bad enough to hurt a child but to not come to you and explain the incident would suggest she has something to hide.

are you saying your dd said the nanny slapped round the face/cheek?

i do not beleive in smacking and i never have or would (it is not my place and tbh there are other forms of punishment that work better ) but i know my ex boss's have slapped round the back of legs before

and tbh the odd tap/slap round the legs/hand is ok as a parent but not EVER round the face and NEVER as a professional childcarere/nanny/cm etc

i agree that you need to ask the nanny striaght out and see what her response is, maybe she tapped on hand,and tbh that is not acceptable but if she did smack round the face then it is not on!!!!

Keep an open mind and ask nanny if she has slapped her, and explain what DD said. The nannys' response to the question will tell you all you need to know about relationship and whether you can smooth it out or not. could easily arise from a misunderstanding of your boundaries/instructions, and I could easily imagine that DD1 might be pushing nanny's buttons hard (harder than she might push yours) if she is very jealous

Having just been through a rather stressful situation where we let some "minor" things go and then had a more serious incident with our nanny, I would be inclined to find a way to discuss it with her. It may have been nothing, but if it was something, or she may have tendencies towards this, you will at least make her aware that you are attentive to her behaviour and wouldn't accept that.

You could perhaps say something on the lines of "DD said x happened and I'm not sure where she got the idea from, just wanted to check with you..."?
Have you asked DD if she knows why it happened?

Good luck

I was a nanny and I was told no smacking. I never did. Did you discuss smacking at the interview. If not, you need to say to your nanny you understand she smacked your child and she is not to ever again. It doesn't have to be a big drama. If you did tell her no smacking, ask her why she smacked your daughter when she had been told she was not too. You have to assume your dd is telling the truth imo.