why are some people so rude?

When I see women with a group of kids at work I automatically assume that they are the childminders (both my Mum and Nan were childminders so I'm used to the gangs of little 'uns!), which has led to embarrassing moments, especially when I was chatting to a Mum of 5 kids who were very diverse in looks and asked how she enjoyed childminding!

hahahahaha

At least now I will be able to laugh off the comments, thinking about these threads. Brilliant!

I have had a few muttered comments made, particularly when I've had children from different ethnic backgrounds - rather than enlighten people that I am not their mother, I tend to casually say "and all by different fathers." I am obviously just a complete trollop.

Tanith, a friend of my mothers who ran the local playscheme once did a general introduction at a party of "These are the fathers of some of my children". Unfortunately it was in one of those unfortunate moments when the whole room happens to go quiet at once just as you start talking.

I always remember this old thread.

I have 3 children of my own and even without my mindees I get the single mother on benefits comments when out and about, when in fact I am married and the only benefit I receive is child benefit - a universal benefit. Our household income is above the tax credits threashold. In fact, I should reply that my husband and I are funding their pension credits!

When I walk with my mindees in addition to my own 3 children, then the 'baby boomers' generation really up the ante and are just damn right rude, insulting and ignorant. Just last week, one of my 8 year old mindee did put one old witch right (and unfortunately, it is the women who make these comments) and said, "she's not my mother, she's my childminder". This was following a comment along the lines (cannot remember exact words) "your mother should use contraception". I have a contraceptive implant btw, to add insult to injury.

I felt (and still feel) bad that my mindee felt the need to be defensive. However, reading this thread has really cheered me up. Thank you!

(Please note, my mindees are on holiday this week. Just to reassure people!)

I went to buy a pregnancy test once with ds aged 26 months, mindee aged 14months and mindee aged 22months. The lady behind the counter looked at me and said 'good luck' I replied 'Thanks I'll need it!' and left keeping her guessing!

Tanith, that made me

Coral - I've had the twin thing a couple of times too. The most funny time for comments was when I first started back after maternity leave and had 10wk, 8m, 17m, 19m, 5 yr & 6 yr olds. Seriously, how on earth could all the younger ones be mine?!!!! lol Having said that, I do like the lovely comments you get from people who can clearly see you're doing a job and think it's amazing and say such lovely things. Just a shame there are so many other opinionated people who presume far too much!!

FeelingOld, that reminds me of DH when he was taking our kids into playgroup at the church. He overheard a couple of the old dears commenting on what a lot of children he had.

"Yep!" he said "And all with different mothers!"

He left a shocked silence behind him

I used to look after 2 little ones, clearly not twins but very close in age - when out and about with them both in the double buggy I used to get asked a lot about what the age difference was between the 2 of them - I replied a very cheery "6 months" and walked away leaving the noseyparker questioner to scratch their heads trying to do the highly improbable calculation!

This holidays I have been out and about with 7 of them - 13 yrs, 11 yrs, 2 x 7 yrs, 6 yrs and 2 x 2 yrs - so the ages are plausible assuming I had a couple of sets of twins in there. We go everywhere on public transport and, as the set of children I have at the moment all look very similar, I get a huge lot of stares! I've long since given up worrying about it!

Let me just finish that post...

Their comeback was 'aren't you a bit young for that?'

So, er, it's okay if it's mine by my rich husband on his second marriage but I'm too young to be right nanny?!

The best one I ever had was when I was 18, pushing a tiny expensively dressed baby in a bugaboo around Notting Hill and getting muttered comments about 'trophy wife' and 'rich husband, second marriage' before turning round, smiling sweetly and informing them that I was the nanny.

I think stuff like this happens to most childminders.
Yesterday I had 4 mindees and my own 2 dc and we all went out for lunch (aged from 2 years to 14), kids were all extremely well behaved and had people telling me how much they admired me for having such well behaved well mannered kids and how impressed they were that i coped so well!!! Did admit they were not all mine.

Think worst comment must have been when a women in her 60's muttered to her husband 'look, another single mum on benefits, 6 kids, bet they all got different dads!!' I very firmly put her right, told her actually i am a single mum but I work fulltime looking after these lovely children so that their parents too can go out to work, everyone around us in the shop stopped to listen and even applauded me when i had finished ranting!!

Mentioned once before on another thread but yes, I get this a lot (how I'm supposed to have 4 different aged children myself with the oldest being 19 months is beyond me! )......once I was on the school run with a triple buggy and baby in a sling and was SHOUTED AT by men driving past in a work van

this is brilliant and a bit disturbing, i can't beleive that people are like that. not sure how i would react to such comments, sometimes i can be a bit sensative, i suppose you have to have thick skin.

bad behaviour

i find it quite amusing tbh
if the kids are good i bask in the compliments about their behaviour and when it's disaproving stares or tuts for bad behaviour undesirable behaviour i just sweetly inform people they are not mine

It's strange how people think that two kids in a pram must mean they're twins - I've had a couple of people ask if my DD and youngest mindee are twins (as they're both girls I think) - they were born 50 WEEKS difference!!

yy I get ooh got yer hands full aincha

I just smile pleasantly and move along

I usually get 'Youve been busy', or when out with 7 month old and 13 month old, who is mixed race, 'are they twins?'

It's always been a mild irritation that, while I get the disapproving stares, DH (who childminds with me) gets a look of respect. Huh!

I get looks when out with 3 ranging from 10y-1y...have once been told (whilst standing at a cashpoint) "for fucks sake just withdraw your benefits already"!

I know I'm young but ffs!

Have also had comments about buying formula milk

I work with my dad who is also a childminder and at times we hase been out and about with 7 children ranging from 6 months to 4 years. The looks and comments we get is hysterical as everyone thinks I have hooked up with a man old enough to be my father and he has fathered 7 children in 4 years!!!!!!

We are now considering getting T shirts sign written with 'I'm the childminder' 'I'm the childminder's father' 'I'm one of hers' (for my own children) and 'Mindee'for the others

omg pinkcanary!