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Original poster

Nanny left 3yo unattended, what do I do?

58 replies

Catilla · 29/07/2010 20:45

I don't often post on MN but have been lurking for several years. Unfortunately this is the first time I've felt the need to call on the collective wisdom that is Mumsnet.

My nanny has been with us for almost 6 months, and is our second nanny. She cares for DS (6) and DD (3) four days a week. She is lovely with the children and generally strikes a nice balance of interaction and discipline.

Today while out enjoying the summer holidays, an incident occurred: for some reason she left DD playing on playground apparatus while she took DS to get a drink at another part of the playground. For some reason DD decided that because she couldn't see nanny & DS, they must have left, so she walked out of the playground into the (big) park. Luckily she was "found" by a friendly other (stranger) mum who recognised her from earlier. After scouring the playground, nanny & DS came out of the gate and found DD.

It sounds like she has been quite panicked by the whole incident and handled the conversation with DD reasonably well. BUT IT SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.

She told me about it just about as soon as she saw me afterwards, and was quite honest. However she didn't apologise or really indicate that she understands the fault was entirely hers. So now we are trying to decide how to handle this.

It seems the options are (she has a contract):

  • dismiss for gross misconduct: lack of supervision (is this really gross misconduct?)... and we need new childcare immediately
  • dismiss with notice, which she either works or we pay in lieu
  • start disciplinary process: verbal/written/dismissal
  • just discuss with her
  • ignore (not an option!)

Can I go straight to written warning due to seriousness, so that if anything like this happens again she is out?

By way of background, I do have a number of other, less serious concerns, but the biggest are
(i) she has left DD with other people temporarily while collecting DS - people I know but without my explicit permission
(ii) she has previously shown less-than-ideal judgement on safety issues eg. letting DD go too far ahead on her scooter
The others are mostly niggles about not remembering to do things the way I've asked her to, and not being as clean & tidy as I'd like.

Can you please help me decide how to approach this?
And if I allow her the chance to improve, how to make sure she doesn't just hide such incidents from me.

Thankyou!

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Original poster
Catilla · 29/07/2010 22:29

Thankyou for such quick responses - and a variety of views!

To answer the questions posed:
I understand that she went back to the picnicking group to get a drink, outside the playground and certainly not within easy sight (DD said she couldn't see them and presumably no-one saw her leave).

She always seems very reasonable and appears to take things on board, but I can't lay out every possible scenario, she has to be able to translate across between them herself. I don't think she "does it anyway" on purpose, but that in itself may be showing that she doesn't think things through enough and perceive the danger.

Of course that is feeling not fact, so not sufficient grounds for dismissal - it has to lead to being incapable of doing the job properly or a breakdown in confidence/trust such that

There is other much more minor evidence of a rather slack attitude to detail/priorities - which I let pass for the sake of the relationship and to prioritise the important things - but there is any number of things which I have asked her to do or not to do, which she "forgets".

Any other views?

OP posts:
nbee84 · 29/07/2010 21:18

I think that if you want to keep the nanny you need to have a meeting with her without the children around. Let her know what you feel she has done that is not acceptable and what/how you would like things done in the future. Give her a chance to have her say afterwards and you will be able to tell if she has taken on board everything that you have said. You should then issue a written warning and make sure in it that you outline what should/should not happen in future.

If you have decided that the issue is too serious then, in my books anyway, leaving a child unsupervised out of the home is gross misconduct and you can dismiss her for it. No notice and no notice to be paid.

MoonUnitAlpha · 29/07/2010 21:02

I feel what would make a difference to how I dealt with it was whether the nanny would take your concerns on board and improve her supervision of the children. If she already knows that you don't want the children left with other people/scooting ahead/out of eyesight etc and she does it anyway then can you really trust her?

If she just has a more "laidback" style than you are happy with, but isn't clear that you want things done differently, then maybe a clear discussion/warning will be sufficient.

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/07/2010 20:58

obv it goes without saying that she shouldnt have left the child alone, but how far was the drinks place from where dd was playing?

was it in the same enclosed area?

she should have taken dd with her or said im going over there, point and say stay here if area isnt that big

do you trust her judgement? you mention other issues as scooting too far and leaving with other people

yes she should run it by you first, if she can do this,my mb doesnt mind if i leave one with a friend while picking up from nursery etc but she trusts my judgement

in the nannys defense she did tell you about what happened at once - do you feel you can carry on

i feel that maybe a verbal warning is in order

onepieceoflollipop · 29/07/2010 20:57

"letting dd go too far ahead on her scooter" would be ringing alarm bells for me. Presuming you mean when there are busy roads etc? This is more worrying to me than the scenario in your op.

I have no idea of the legal implications/disciplinary process, but I strongly feel that if you cannot trust her wrt to safety then you may seriously need to consider letting her go.

SparkleandShine · 29/07/2010 20:54

Phone ACAS and ask their advice.

www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461 they were extremely helpful when we had employee problems.

MoonUnitAlpha · 29/07/2010 20:53

When she has left DD with others or let her go too far ahead in the past, how did you address it?

You say she left your DD unattended, but how far away did she go?

I only ask because what counts as adequate supervision does vary significantly from person to person - some might keep a three year old with eyesight all the time, others might be happy for them to play out of view in a playground. Is the nanny clear on your expectations?

deemented · 29/07/2010 20:52

I think if you can't trust her with your childrens safety then perhaps you need to let her go, otherwise you'll never really relax when you're not with them.