Nanny left 3yo unattended, what do I do?

I thought I'd replied on this but I'm with the majority that it's grounds for instant dismissal due to gross misconduct, you should have a very stern chat which definitely counts as a verbal warning and see how it goes then at the end either say 'this is a formal warning' or 'taking all this into account I'm afraid I can't trust you with the children, what you did was gross misconduct and I'd like to you to return the keys to me now please.'

It might leave you up shit creek wrt childcare but the cost of a temp (usually fairly easy to find!) is more than worth it to ensure your child's safety.

If she didn't work yesterday you need to have this chat first thing Monday morning, so have a backup plan for childcare!

There is such a thing as a mutual separation agreement and I have discussed this with an employment lawyer in connection with our first nanny a few years ago. I think she called it 'agreeing terms.' But from memory I don't think it's as simple as telling her to find another job OR ELSE you start the process of formally dismissing her. But maybe I'm wrong. I think this is a reasonable route here but I would be a bit clearer about what the legal steps are.

Have you considered just asking her to go? Is there no mutual option for cessation of the contract, without you having to go the whole hog of written dismissal etc? It all sounds a bit full on when obviously what she has done is not great, but IMO was an indication of someone not totally au fait with the protocol = I mean the best practise type protocol.

I can imagine most parents have had a similar lapse of judgment at some point, so it isn't as appalling as a lot of things could have been - but then it's not good either.

I would discuss your concerns with her and make her aware you would like to find someone you feel more similar to in your approach. Thank her for the good points she has shown and ask her to look for alternative employment - say you want her too asap or may have to resort to official paperwork if you find someone suitable straight away, so they can take over.

Mutual termination of contract is going to look far better on her CV than your written notice or dismissal, so therefore incentive for her to go away quickly.

Oh and i would look at terminating employment or very specific ground rules especially now school is out.

Personally it shows very poor judgement on the nanny's part and with the other incidents shows a pattern of poor judgement to dangers and the dc wellbeing and safety.

I feel that very possibly the main/only reason she told you is that your dd would/could have said something and possibly other mothers might tell you of the incident.

I don't have a nanny, and am quite relaxed most the time with my 2yo. I would call that gross misconduct and sack her RIGHT NOW. I wouldnt give her the opportunity to endanger my DD one more time.

If you absolutely don't want to sack her, I'd have a chat and gage her reaction. IF she is suitably aware that it's not acceptable, give a verbal warning and assurance next time it will be the end of the job. If not, I'd say something like "so due to this, I'm going to have to let you go" at the end of the conversation. Sort of play it by ear a little. Honestly, no apology or awareness this was her fault indicates lack of caring to me and I'd hate DD to be looked after by someone so lax.

Good luck with this, not a situation I'd like to be in especially if it means you'll be without care until you find another nanny. Can you get time off work?

I got sacked for a lot less and as a former nanny I think you should get rid.

Goodness, I have just finished a nanny position with 7 years old twin boys, I didn't like them going out of my sight! They live on a little island where the danger is not like the main-land but as I am being paid to keep them safe, I would not do this with them!

I find it scary that someone would be happy to be out of sight of a 3 year old, even in a fenced in playground, even for 2 minutes. Things happen so quickly with children.

I didn't even like letting the boys go in the mens bathroom!

Maybe I am just a worrier?!

But I won't change!

so catilla, what are you going to do

you need to do something today, def a chat, maybe a verbal/written warning,possibly even dismissal

the incident happened yesterday, you can not wait till after the weekend to then have a chat/do something

im assuming she isnt working today as you said she works 4 days, and again assuming has friday off

if she does work fridays, have you left her in charge of the children and gone to work? if so,then i feel you cant then sack her as obv you have trusted her today iyswim

I 'm afraid i wouldnt continue employing her.

I'm quite lax regarding other things and i usually try to see the nanny's point aswell. Have been nanny myself for 2 decades and i have defended nannies on this board.

My principle is that you have to prioritize and ask 'how much does it matter' and 'whats the worst scenario'. Example: Nanny left a messy kitchen=annoying but doesn't effect my child's wellbeing. Nanny listens to radio/chats on her phone/sticks a dvd/ate all the salmon etc i can live with this. In 20 years time it wont matter that my child watched dvd for an hour on 29 july 2010 because the nanny had a particular bad day.

But... child left alone, child got burnt in the sun, child ate rubbish food every day, child was called names... these are things that will matter for years to come. If it comes to health/safety/emotional wellbeing i would sack immediately.

I would be giving her notice immediately

Get rid of her, alarm bells should be going off, i found out after she'd left mine left the children in car whilst she went to the bank, various other minor misdemeanors that finally came to head with my three year old being locked in the garden in the rain.
If they aren't 110% perfect they don't deserve to be trusted with your precious children.

Could she see your DD from where she was?

I am pretty certain that you do not have to worry about unfair dismissal. Your employee has only been with you for six months. You only need to worry when she has had one years of service.

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/RedundancyAndLeavingYourJob/Dismissal/DG_175828

Stop fannying about. The park incident is grounds for dismissal for gross misconduct. She can't take you to tribunal and even if she did she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.;

Your children deserve better.

I think I would need a better understanding of the setting before I categorised the incident as gross misconduct. She definitely exercised poor judgement. But, the nanny may well already be very shaken up about this. I doubt she'll do it again even if the employer doesn't say another word.

I think a nanny has a right to some level of guidance from her manager, just as any employee does. What would matter here is not so much that it happened nce, but if I thought it was likely to happen again.

As an employer I think you will be in a tricky position to site these things now as reasons for dismissal if you did not address them at the time.

True but you can still do an instant dismissal for gross misconduct for the specific playground incident. The problem with that route is that you should really have suspended her immediately if you believed it was gross misconduct.

I think you can still dismiss her with notice, without going through the disciplinary procedure, without fear of being sued later for unfair dismissal, as you're within a year of employing her. The advantage of instant dismissal over giving notice is that you don't have to pay out or get her to work out the notice period.

Looneytune makes a really good point. My CM has a strong sense of professionalism and is scrupulous about road safety, meeting points when she collects ds from school etc, and I wouldn't expect anything less from a nanny. CM is like this primarily for her own peace of mind and sanity, but she also knows it gives mindees security and she has a lot of parents watching her! Although as a parent I can be a bit more lax with my own children e.g. letting them go ahead as I know they stop at road junctions, even as a lax parent I wouldn't disappear out of sight of a 3 yr old at the playground.

Without even reading any other post since your original there is in my opinion only one course of action: immediate dismissal for gross misconduct. I employ a nanny four days a week and would do this without hesitation.

On the previous occassions which you mention you are not happy about (i.e. too far ahead on the scooter, and leaving DD with other people) what was your course of action then? Did you have a serious chat, a verbal warning, a written one?

As an employer I think you will be in a tricky position to site these things now as reasons for dismissal if you did not address them at the time.

Regarding the leaving DD with people who you know but have not given explicit permission to look after DD, are these friends of your or hers? Would you be happy to leave DD with them if she was in your care?

Haven't read all the posts but I did see that you said she left the park to go OUT OF SIGHT and this IS enough to dismiss her imo.

I'm a childminder and look after 6 children every day, 4 of who are either 2 or 3 years old. Now it's the school holidays we have been out on several day trips (with picnics etc). and if ONE child needs the toilet, all SIX children come with me (even if I have a friend there as I can't risk leaving all these children with someone else). As a childminder I have to have ALL children in view or hearing distance at all times. I took them all the an outdoor paddling pool yesterday and forgot the towels so they come with me to get them then come back (unless friend can get of course). The only exception is I allow MY DS who is 7 to be out of sight (i.e. we fed the ducks and I let him stay in the adventure playground just behind me). This was my choice as HIS PARENT but I would never do this for a mindee. Surely a nanny is the same? Why couldn't she take them both to the picnic area?

Also, the scooter thing worries me. I'm very strict with safety as I'd never forgive myself if something happened. A 3 year old would only be allowed to walk just ahead of me (and that's once I felt they could trust me). I need to be very near them 'just in case'.

If you don't like this nanny, I'd get rid. BUT if you like her and want to keep her, I'd definitely have a meeting and start the verbal warning thing and make sure you're very comfortable with her reaction back when you talk to her.

Good luck

Personally I think leaving a three year old in a playground out of your sight line is not acceptable. The fact that she then wandered off and it is just luck that she was retrieved by someone who recognised her confirms that, does it not?
I'm not saying that this could never happen to me as a parent - but I think when you're looking after other people's children professionally, you need to be more vigilant with safety to compensate for the fact that you don't have the same instincts when you are not a parent (and perhaps, if she doesn't have any children of her own, those instincts aren't well developed anyway).

Agree with Strix, but only if you want to keep her at all. As long as she doesn't do this particular thing agian, would you be satisfied? or do the other incidents bother you too?

I ask because it's only if you're generally not feeling good about the situation that a single incident would bring on such thoughts. if you're thinking about it, be really honest with yourself - is it because you don't think it's working?

For instance, a few weeks ago while my nanny was in the kitchen filling water bottles, DD ran out of the front door of the house to go chase after DH who had left without saying goodbye. Nanny wasn't aware of this until 5 min later when she realised door was open. It's a serious breach of safety and it could have been a disaster but I didn't dream of sacking her, because I'm generally really happy with her. I was confident it was an isolated one off incident. It doesn't sound to me like you're that confident.

BTW, leaving DD with others without my authorisation is grounds for instant dismissal in my contract.

I would have a fairly serious chat and possibly count that as a verbal warning. And I would far more interesteed in her reaction to the chat and how her behaviour changed following the chat than I would about the fact I needed to have the chat.

If she was very defensive and didn't see that it was a bit negligent to leave a 3 year old on her own, then that would worry me. If she was very aplogetic and explained she understood the error of her ways and would never do it again, I'd be quite happy with that (assuming she really didn't ever do it again).

I think her biggest flaw in all that happened was not thinking to communicate with the 3 year old that she would be out of sight for a bit but would be right back. If I thought it was safe to leave the three year old where she was I would say "DS and I are going for a drink. We will be back right over there and then come straight back. Do you want to come with us or stay here?"

I agree with Reallytired. Any number of things could have happened to your DD while the nanny was gone... kidnapping, child could have fallen and gotten seriously hurt, she could have wandered off out of the playground and perhaps run into the road... etc. Not nice things to think about, and thank goodness she was fine, but definitely things to consider.

In the end, your children are your most prized possessions and the centre of your life. If something happens to them, think of how you would feel. Is a nanny worth that? No one will be perfect, but for your own sake, try and get as close to perfect as you can. Woman's/mother's intuition is a strong guide... go with how you feel.

Good luck!

The question is whether you actually want this woman as your nanny? If you want to carry on employing her then you need to give her a formal warning.

As she has only been employed 6 months you do not have to worry about an employement tribunal. You cannot claim unfair dismissal if you have not been employed for at least two years. Its worth checking with a solitor though.

I think you have grounds for gross misconduct for her leaving your children unattended or with strange people. Certainly leaving a three year old unattended is illegal and you know nothing about these strange people. Have they been CRB checked?

Anything could have happened. Your daughter could have been killed.