Experiences of Pethidine

Damn, just lost a message I wanted to post.
Can't remember it fully but I agree with Croppy that I am confused. I can't remember anyone criticising anyones choice to have pain relief. In fact this thread was about peoples experiences of it and I have found it to be fascinating.
BTW I am probably stirring things but why be defensive about your own decisions? If you do something you want that is always the right choice if someone forces you then that is a different matter.

croppy, no! it's me who is confused! you said

"Ah but Forest, have you forgotten that women who give birth without pain relief (just like those who go in for extended breastfeeding) are inevitable branded smug/superior/nuts?."

i merely pointed out that, imo, the only person who has mentioned the word "smug" on this thread has been describing their own feelings about not having had an epidural.

you then asked me why that comment upset me, well, it's because to me you can't use a word like "smug" in that context without appearing to look down on someone who has had an epidural. that upsets me in the same way you, presumably, don't like being "branded...nuts" for, say, extended breastfeeding.

hope that clears it up.

Don't understand. This seemed to kick off when somebody simply commented that they were absolutely delighted at the outcome of their birth having not had an epidural. How does that translate into implied criticism of anyone else's choices?

yours confused

i don't want to start a fight - i just don't want to feel people are looking down on or criticising my choices - the same as you presumably.

presumably for the same reasons you feel unhappy that people appear to be making overt or implied comments on your decision to avoid pain relief or to pursue extended breastfeeding... surely it goes both ways?

Crumbs. I really only commented in the first place because of the stick midwives were getting over denying/postponing epidurals.

I know someone said they felt smug and they then had to defend themselves which I thought was unfair.
Yes, I see what you mean croppy!

The only reference I can find is Susanmt who clearly commented this was because of previous lumbar puncture problems. Why does it bother you Bossykate?. I know loads of people who are joyfully smug about their C-Sections done purely by choice in swish private hospitals with no complications and little pain. That's their choice and surely all that matters is that they are pleased with their outcome?

someone actually said earlier on this thread that they felt smug for not having had an epidural, so they are not being "branded" as such by others, but actually describing their own feelings on the matter. i appreciate that not everyone might feel the same way.

Ah but Forest, have you forgotten that women who give birth without pain relief (just like those who go in for extended breastfeeding) are inevitable branded smug/superior/nuts?.

As Mears has so clearly stated, there are valid reasons why epidurals aren't given when asked for and I personally would be surprised if the vast majority of women who didn't have one weren't pleased with that outcome.

I remained mobile with my epidural, which I'm sure makes an enormous difference. I only had a catheter put in once the decision had been taken to go for an emergency c-section too, as before then I could wee myself

I have to say I don't understand why everyone thinks you are smug, superior, look down on people, think everyone should do it your way etc when they are happy with the outcome of their birth. Previous messages where people have mentioned they are happy with their birth choices which didn't involve drugs or epidurals seem to get jumped on. Why are people so touchy? They haven't mentioned their way was best just that it was for them.

Jodiesmum, I certainly wasn't trying to claim any sort of superiority for not having an epidural just that in my case, as became immediately clear, I really was too far gone. Like everyone else I know who had a straightforward delivery without an epidural, I was delighted with the outcome simply because I could remain mobile, things progressed quickly and I was up and about immediately.. I guess it just so happens that I don't know anyone who had a vaginal delivery which was so protracted and difficult that they really felt that with hindsight, they would have wanted an epidural. Of course, that's not to say that all the people who did have an epidural weren't pleased too with their outcome.

that's good to hear forest - the smiley with the teeth is : followed by O (capital letter o)

And I have to say in defense of midwives - the ones I had were fantastic. They showed me so much respect, were very encouraging and made my stay in hospital very enjoyable.

I had an epidural last time (although as I mentioned previously I was taken off it before the second stage) and I am really hoping I don't need one this time round. It was good to have some rest which the epidural did give me but after a few hours I was so fed up just lying on the bed. I found my left leg acutally hurt from being numb (if that makes sense!) and that was more uncomfortable than the pain I had with the contractions. I also realise I had diamorphine not pethidine! Very nice it was too and I think I will have that again if I find I'm in too much pain. I also really enjoyed the gas and air - I had a mouth piece that I could also chew on which was also very handy. Mmmm, I'm sounding like a bit of a junky here!!
What I really want though is not to be induced. I want to feel my contractions and timing them and wondering whether I should go to hospital yet and so on.
Oh and Bundle I too have had 4 fillings without anathestic as I was told they were very shallow and it all honesty it hurt less, I got over it much quicker then I did when I had a filling with anathestic. Maybe I have a pain fetish (how do you do the smiley with the teeth showing?)

mum2toby, it's odd isn't it? I suppose belly labours are more 'usual' so might be what the midwives themselves have experienced...

I had a backache labour....... OUCH! I screamed for an epidural, but they kept telling me I was doing fine until eventually they told me it was too late for one!!!! I was raging!

bells2, I know a number of women who wish they'd had epidurals after the event, one in particular was told because her labour was 'only' in her back it wasn't really worth it! (ie it was seen as some sort of lower-grade pain)

Glad to know they are a minority group! Frightened the life out of me.

Well well, we seem to be back to the anti-pain relief smugness problem yet again. It's a real shame some women can't accept that what's right for them would be completely wrong for someone else and instead assume that their experience is in someway superior. I personally would definitely have regreted not getting an epidural and I've spoken to lots of women who did miss out for one reason or another and suffered horribly as a result. My point was about being able to choose, rather than having a decision forced on me, which if you think about it is pretty hard to argue with.

Can I just say that I was somebody who asked for an eipdural during each of my labours. Both times, I was quite rightly told that I was too far along to have one and both times I was absolutely delighted with the outcome. I don't know anyone who wishes they had had an epidural after the event.

Aloha, I really share your sentiments about pain! I had a lovely epidural with DD1 but had to fight quite hard to get it (midwife very resistant in a kindly way, kept telling me how well I was doing, etc), then had to wait 2 hours - practically out of my mind by this point - because both anaesthetists were busy with emergencies. As Mears says, this does seem to be the number one reason why women may not get their epidural and this is a BIG worry for me at present, with 3 months to go till birth of number two. If I could be sure of getting an epidural if I need one, I'd be really looking forward to the birth, but as it is I'm full of anxiety. I know the second one is supposed to be easier so I may not need pain relief this time, blah, blah, but as other people have been saying, the key word is control - I want to be able to make my own choice, not have it forced on me.

I agree entirely with your sentiments that it is the woman's choice regarding her need for pain relief. The beliefs on AIMS website are not the majority views of midwives - it is infact a minority group. I have to say that a number of midwives that I work with are very intervenionist and encourage epidurals before trying other things such as massage, birthing ball or pool. They would do well to find out more about non-intervention in the first place. However, I do not believe there are many midwives out there who would deliberately deny a woman an epidural if that was her explicit request unless the birth was imminent or the anaesthetist was unavailable. It is also breaching the midwives rules and code of practice to lie to a woman about her progress. To deny women requested pain relief is opening yourself up to potential litigation.
I do like to read your posts Aloha because you always give me something to think about. What you need is a midwife you can totally trust to ensure your wishes are followed. There are lots of us out there who thrive on helping women achieve the experience they want - with or without epidurals.

aloha - my dentist (somewhere I used to live) once said I didn't need anaesthetic because the filling was so small - AND I BELIEVED HIM! it wasn't too bad, but afterwards I did wonder who it was all about....
control is the right word - whether you opt for all or nothing