scared of tearing/episiotomy

Me and my harping on about the pelvic floor:

Pelvic floor exercises are beneficial in minimising perineal trauma, of which perineal tears account for 85% of vaginally delivered women (Premkumar 2005 in RCM Midwives Journal).
Start taking arnica prior to labour and afterwards probably on a 2 hourly basis.

The amount of salt in the bath needed to help wound healing is huge.

Lavender oil is beneficial.

Perineal exercises, commenced around 37 weeks is also proven to reduce perineal trauma

Yes, do listen to what the midwife says - they generally hate doing episitomies and won't do them just at the drop of a hat...

good luck!

Good luck.

Have you had your baby yet Starlover?

I haven't read the whole of this thread, but being cut is also my worst fear of giving birth.

A midwife has told me about something to do to help that I hadn't heard of before. Massaging the perinium can help, but in Switzerland there is this balloon thing that you can get, that you put inside and pump up. each time you use it you pump a bit more nad it stretches the perinium a bit more. You can pump it right upto 10cm. I haven't got one yet but definitley will. I have no idea if you can get somethign like this in UK or if it is really recommended, but the midwife that told me about it said it significantly reduces the risk of tearing or need for cutting.

Anyone seen one or know anything about it? (i think its called an epitom need to check, I couldnt find it on the internet)

Its on my shopping list for this weekend.

would echo everyone elses comments i was terrified of tearing but at the end if someone had offered to cut my leg off with a blunt hacksaw to stop the pain i would have agreed

I had a second degree tear caused by me pushing like mad and DD having her hands by her face. The stitching wasn't the nicest thing (a lovely doctor did it i was high on gas and air) it was no big deal I had to sit sideways for a few hours afterwards took arnica and had lavender baths they healed well.

My tip is for my first poo 3 days later I ate loads of apricots (always give me the runs) so it wasn't too erm straining thing was I was in hospital with DD for jaundice and I just did a big smelly one and the doc came and checked on her

You'll have that precious bubba in your arms soon that'll be all that matters. Best of luck.

Ok, no-one else has said it so perhaps I'm the only gross one but if you tear, wee in the bath for the first few days afterwards! Pouring warm water over the area whilst weeing also helps. But I didn't feel it at all when I was actually giving birth. I tore a little with my first baby and not at all with my bigger second and I wonder if it's because I pushed like MAD to get no 1 out whereas with my second I had an epidural and was quite happy to let her make her own way down until I absolutely had to push! Don't know, just my personal theory!

Starlover, you will go through hell fire for your children once they are born and this includes the indignity and pain of giving birth. Don't worry. Didn't I read somewhere that you are 40 weeks? In only a few days time you will be holding your baby and nothing will ever be the same again. I almost envy you the rich experience you are about to have (but you can keep the physical pain!)

Agree with Decmum - the worst part was the first tentative painful investigation of my bits in the shower afterwards. I even plucked up the courage after a few days to have a good old look with a mirror - wish I hadn't!!

Agree with the sentiments already expressed. I had some tearing with dd although can honestly say that there was no painful feeling of actually tearing which was what I had been worried about (just the 'normal' pain of giving birth). It usually happens right at the end anyway when baby is coming out so the potentially squirm inducing aftermath with the stitching etc is blocked out by the fact that all you can think about is the baby you are holding. They usually give a local when stitching so it doesn't hurt at the time anyway.
As well as all the other tips I would definitely recommend getting a rubber ring to sit on afterwards. I didn't last time and have seen in my NCT mag that you can hire special 'valley cushions' for this purpose.

starlover, I had an episiotomy with DS (he was delivered by forceps) and I can honestly say I didn't feel it happening - I knew it was because they told me but didn't feel it.

And I was really worried about it - the thought of it is horrible but in practice it was OK

Oh yes but I must second the information given below re a hairdryer. With or without stitches or tears, you do feel a bit sore down there afterwards and bleed a lot so you don't want to use a towel to dry yourself. Use a hairdryer: it is so soothing and much more hygienic too. I still use a hairdryer sometimes to dry myself there after a shower!

Don't be worried about it...that's your sane, rational and dignified nature working through the logic but when the time comes that side of your personality will leave you. The whole natural birth experience is overwhelming and your body sort of kicks in to emergency mode. For me the details were lost in the whole contraction thing and the tearing is at the very end and not painful because you're pretty numb by then.
The stitching thing is undignified but by then you have a baby, the panic is over and again you don't feel a thing. The italian doctor that stitched me was the most attractive doctor I've ever seen and that added a little to the loss of dignity but they see it all the time.
The worst part of the experience was in the shower post birth when I could feel the damage below (if you know what I mean). I was totally unprepared for that and was quite shocked...BUT eventually everything went back where it belonged.

Is this your first baby starlover? If it is, believe you me there are all sorts of things you wouldn't opt for in normal life, but when you are giving birth, that all goes out the window. I mean, showing your fanny suddenly doesn't seem all that important, crying like a baby in front of complete strangers is nothing, and having your privates cut or ripped (except it isn't your privates, hopefully, but the skin around them) is a wonderful way of getting a baby out who has hitherto refused to make an appearance.

I tore and didn't feel it happen. They wanted to do an episiotomy but I'd already decided I didn't want one so just risked the tear (2nd degree). I was stitched up under local so didn't feel that either. Agree with all the strategies here for helping the healing afterwards. I took arnica, bellis perenis, hypericum and calendula for a few days after. I also bathed the wound with calendula tincture (20 drops in a jug of water). Take a jug to hospital with you - I found splashing water onto myself as I did a wee helped the first time. The tear healed within a couple of weeks. I was actually more upset about the temporary incontinence than I was about the tear - work those pelvic floor muscles! Good luck

Doing your first poo after childbirth is the worst moment, but that applies to when you have not been cut or torn as much as when you have. Have fun!

What exactly is it you are worrying about? the pain at the time, the pain later, or something else?

Of the pain at the time, I would say, it is no worse than what you are going to go through anyway. I had an episiotomy with my first child and was given a local jab and felt nothing in so far as the cutting and stitching was concerned. That is not a lie to make you feel better. TBH< I was so desperate to get the baby out, I couldn't have cared less.
Afterwards was bad for a few days but there are things you can do to feel better: sit on rubber rings, put ice packs on, Arnica, pain killers etc and if I remember rightly, the discomfort is only for a week or so.
I had a tiny tear with Nos 2 and 4 but refused stitches for both and was not reall aware of any discomfort there. No 3 was smaller than her brothers and gave me no grief at all. That's girls for you!

Try not to worry. You will spend more time worrying than it will take to go through the pain - I know because I worried about labour for 9 months each time and it doesn't take that long!

My hospital also had a no-episiotomy policy - I was the first episiotomy that the midwife had attended in 6 months apparently - but I had one because it was to get the baby OUT fast because she was 'sticking' in the birth canal and I'd been in labour for 400 years by then.