Considering having a 3rd

Founnd a childminder who lives close 2 the school & can take/fetch the eldest 2/from school. Minimising the running around was a top priority for me, too.

I'd be really interested to hear from parents wit three children or more who work and how they cope with it. I work and so does my partner although we have flexible and part time working so in reality one of us is at home with the children for three out of five days a week. But it all seems so hard logistically with just two I am not sure how we'd cope with another one. DS has just started school and that seems to have made everything so much more complicated - what with the childcare plus the children are in two different places now rather than one nursery.

Have to say that I have found 3 incredibly hard work, much worse than I thought it would be. I love DS2 so much I wouldn't want to be without him, but then, if I had never been without him, would I miss him? Was it worth a rotten pregnancy, going thru childbirth and a year of sleepless nights again? Hmmm... tough call.

I'm actively ttc no 3 and my kids are 2yrs 2months and 8 months. Listen to your heart, not what everyone else says.

I know loads of people who have had a third when their older two were a similar age to yours. If I'd had the choice that is the sort of age gaps I would have preferred as you can give the baby plenty of attention when the others are at school, they can have their naps in peace, etc. Because of fertility probs between my first and second child mine are 7, 3 and eight months so the baby is always being dragged along when I have to take my 7 year old to swimming lessons, picking up the toddler from preschool, etc so often only has catnaps. I always wanted three (though I waivered a bit after the second) but now I know my family is complete. You have to go with your heart on this and they are only babies for a short while. I must say both our families seemed to be surprised that we went for a third and I think they wondered if it was unplanned! I don't know why but I sometimes feel that people seem to think there is an unwritten rule theses days that you should only have two??

And Skate if I was younger I would definitely go for four so don't think you're mad at all.

I had my third 5 weeks ago and although it's early days yet and broken nights are a killer, I'd say going from 2 to 3 is a lot easier than 1 to 2. For me I think it's because the older two can entertain and play with each other which allows me more time to breastfeed and do for the new baby - when there is only one older child you have to entertain them as well as the baby. I found third pregnancy easier for the same reasons.

and we agonised about having a third and now he is here we wonder what all the fuss was about! Seems like he's been here forever.

hello love
i say go for it at the end of the day its your choice and if you and your partner are ready for one more then thats all that counts i have three children my eldest is nearly five and my youngest is sixteen months and im a single parent and to this day i would have at least one more having my children in my life is what keeps me going so what ever you decide i wish you all the luck im sure what ever you decide it will be the rite one take care

thanks for your thoughts.... acer - why not - how many have you got? why do you say that?

If you want another one, go for it. Mine are dd-10yrs, ds-7yrs and dd 14mths. Dh was 44 when dd2 was born, and although she wasn't planned (I didn't even realise I was pg until I was about 15/16 weeks) he loves her to bits and has bonded with her better than he did with the eldest 2.

Don't do it!!!!!

Agree three is fab, despite the constant tiredness etc - I love it and wouldn't have had it any other way. Definitely not ready for a fourth though. Mine are ds1-6, dd-4 and ds2-9months and still bfx2 a day! Having four kids isn't what puts me off, it's the pregnancy and bf-ing - just don't think I want to put myself through it again - have had a difficult time of it healthwise this year and mostly baby related - just don't think I could really...........

Have one - 3 is fab! Mine are 3.5, 2 and 8 weeks!! See, I'm a headcase! AND, like Nutty, I'm considering another!!

When I was pg with ds3 some people did think I was mad but most of the midwives told me that they actually see more people having 3 and 4 now than just 2.

I was one of 3 and had a great childhood - I loved having 2 siblings and just knew that 2 would not feel 'complete' for me.

Still undecided about a 4th but we'll see....

Hello - thought I might revive this thread as this is close to my heart at the moment. Like gold123 I know all the practical reasons not to have a third but still want one. Only thing is dh is not all that keen - not def no but if I wasn't bothered we wouldn't be discussing it. He's 40 and I think can see an end in sight to nappies etc. We have 2 boys aged 18 mths and 3 - it's not even that I want a girl - 3 boys would be fine. Any thoughts anyone?

It took us a while to get round to No's 3&4 but we didn't have any negative reactions at all - at least, not our face! People seemed very happy for us and we were deluged with presents for them. Lots of people still remember their birthdays, even though they are almost 8 and 17yo.

Hi everyone. I agree with what's already been said. It seems attitudes haven't changed much - I'm the youngest of four and I remember when I was 10 a school friend accused my mum of being 'posh' because she had had four children!! I can only assume that she'd overheard her parents saying what insanity she was to have had four and that she must have had loads of money of something!

good luck gold123 - having three is fun (most of the time ) I had lots of stupid comments during pregnancy, too - particularly as I'm only 27 - when people realised that this wasn't my 1st but my 3rd I could see them think that I must be some kind of breeder! LOL
Having a 3rd doesn't seem to have affected my older ones much at all - they're so used to sharing attention anyway and both are in love with the baby.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

if you really want one, and your husband does, I can't even see the question.

ime lots of people have plenty of negative things - the hard work mainly, but what can be morre wonderful than a wanted and loved child?

my family all had comments to make - what another??? etc, but they're all just as soppy over new baby, and so are his siblings.

good look - will watch out for announcement

Yeah Gold123, if you do decide to go for a 3rd, I would echo what Harman said..be prepared for some strange reactions. More than 2 and most pple think you are 1)mad 2)it was a mistake and NOBODY says congrats. My mum actually tutted and shook her head. Ouch! hurtful stuff.......

Message withdrawn

3 is the new 2 so they say.........

I don't see why anyone who has three is mad! - I'd have 3 myself if I wasn't so ancient and past it (almost 36 and only just got around to having no 2 who is due on 19 April)

Your 4 and 6 year old will probably enjoy having a baby brother or sister....and I think they will cope better with the slight dimunition in parental attention that they will get than younger children would