This is what I don't understand.

Thinking back to school now, if you don't want your child to be teased at school, make sure they're not fat, make sure they don't have hideously embarrassing clothes, make sure their glasses aren't too disgusting, and make sure they don't have hair like a big wig. The boys who were teased in my school were called John and Crispin.

' "children don't bully or tease because of a name, "

Want to bet? " '

It depends on the DC. As OP says -

'Yes, your child might be a strong, confident person who can carry off their unusual name and love it, but he or she might be quiet, timid and unconfident, and may find it a burden to be called Basingstoke-Montmorency. Again, why risk it.'

That is the one thing that would stop me. You can't look at your hours old baby and know that they are strong enough to handle it. You and DP may be fun loving, confident extroverts but it doesn't mean that you will produce one!
As the quiet, timid child an unusual name would have been an unnecessary burden to me.

Personality will give them individuality and uniqueness.

I never know why people ask for opinions anyway -unless people point out things that they won't have thought of-but very often they totally ignore the advice anyway.

I am convinced that some people post the silliest name they can think of just take bets that someone will say it is lovely! I'm sure that if I asked about Dandelion as a name most people would say 'don't be stupid' but at least a couple would say 'how lovely'!

Seeker - I do not think that individuality and uniqueness comes from a name - that would be ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as saying that every child with an unusual name will be bullied. This is not a fact, it is an opinion, which I might add, many people on this thread have experience to the contrary.

My children's names, though unusual, are also easy to pronounce and spell, no-one does a double-take when they hear them and neither are they a euphemisism for genitalia. They just don't happen to be one of thousands born every year and given the same name.

I (and many others on this thread) happen to have a different opinion to yours, that's all. As I said - I am entitled to mine opinion, you are entitled to yours.

....and my RL name is the most common name (possibly the most common ever) for females. It's always in the most popular names and I really wish I had a 'better' name. I was bullied at school and a total wallflower.

I stuck with DD's name after a good response on here.

It's not very common and I wasn't sure if I only liked it due to bonkers pregnancy hormones. But the MN masses were largely in favour, and I chose to ingore the few who weren't so keen.

Yes - annasophia and mopsyflopsy - I agree with both of you.

I was just reading another thread about popular boys' names and someone asked the poster why they were limiting their choices and wanted to pick a name that thousands of other parents had chosen.

Thousands of other children with the same name. That makes me so sad.

They the poster spoke about, as children mature, and reach their teens, they clone themselves - all looking the same, all liking the same music, the same teen hearthrobs, same haircuts, same everything. Maybe if they hadn't all been given the same name as thousands of other children, they might have stood a chance of retaining a tiny bit of individuality.

And people who give their children unusal names - they're the bizarre ones? I don't think so.

"Yes, your child might be a strong, confident person who can carry off their unusual name and love it, but he or she might be quiet, timid and unconfident, and may find it a burden to be called Basingstoke-Montmorency."

What if your child is a strong, confident person who hates being one of three Jacks in his class, and later in life wishing he had a more individual name than Jack Smith? He might find it a burden to have such a common boring name.

Actually, yes I am happy to run the 'slight risk' of teasing in return for a more individual name . In my opinion, the benefits outweigh the risks.

But, as others have said, we are all free to have our own opinion on this.

And you are welcome to your opinion, as everyone else is to theirs.

But not everyone is being picked on because they are the only 'X' in school. I'll bet (another bet that can't be won one way or the other) you know plenty of other children with unusual/unique names that aren't being picked on in school.

Sometimes people aren't actually asking for opinions - merely listing names they like - asking for more suggestions - but they get the negative comments all the same.

I was just talking to DH about this, about the children at our school who were picked on - there was a Robin, an Anne, an Esther, a Claire - nothing out of the ordinary. I don't know about the bullies the children you know have experience of, but as I said I've always found they go for the physical as it's easier. It takes a little bit of intelligence to pick on a name - and bullies aren't generally that clever or inventive.

A very good friend of mine was involved in a road traffic accident as a very young child, suffering very bad, obvious and permanent injury. It caused the bullies in her secondary school to focus on that and they tried to call her names because of it. Her response was 'It's true, and?' - and the bullies were disarmed. If she'd been less confident and happy in herself, I dare say it could've been a different story. She gave her second son a name that would be considered by some as ripe for bullying. Her opinion was 'if that's the worst he gets at school, she'd be happy with that'.

Bullies only bully because they are able to.

"Why run the risk?" Simple - because I don't want to call my child Grace, Emily, Jack or Matthew (not that there's anything wrong with any of those names, by the way) so they can be distinguished only by the first letter of their last name.

And, seeker, funny you should mention it, but DH and I were actually discussing 'Montmorency' only last night.

Yes - sophiesmummy - that's one thing easy to forget, that people who dislike our name choices, probably haven't used names we like either - and often, the people who do just heavily criticise name choices, offer no suggestions at all - just the negative comment.

I respect other people's right to pick the names they like - and, as my Nan used to say, if I can't say anything nice, I don't say anything at all.

But, crikey, imagine that we all called our children the same, safe names? Well, there'd be no need for this forum for a start.

I agree with Lulu - in my experience, if a child is going to be teased, the teasers will find a reason, be it name, hair colour, nose, whatever.

Also agree with previous posters about the fact that we may hate the choices of those mumsnetters that don't like our choices. We all have different tastes, thats ok!

And finally, wouldn't it be boring if we all named our children Jack and Grace.... the whole point of NAMING something or someone is to uniquely identify it/her/him.

I didn't have the internet when I was pg, but almost everyone I spoke top told me not to give DD that name-Too hard to spell and pronounce, silly and not an English name

I loved it so did call her it. It's Niamh, so not even that unusual, and I still love it, and she's never been bothered by people spelling/pronouncing it wrong. She likes her name.

If she ever hates it, she has Elizabeth as a middle name, which comes with so many variations she has plenty of choice.

"Want to bet?" - how exactly could that be proved one way or another? A bit of a daft bet, surely?

Children bully and tease because they have decided a child smells or they think the other child is weird or they've come from a different school, because of their accent, because they wear school uniform, because of their shoes - because they are deemed physically different in some way.

I speak from experience. And I have a name that could have been picked on but wasn't.

I agree - people should choose what they want - children don't bully or tease because of a name, they bully or tease for other reasons. If children hear that a name is weird, they've heard it from their parents - who should know better.

I've been 'told off' by you, seeker for my name ideas on previous posts, and (in the nicest possible way, I promise) your opinion doesn't bother me all that much, because you are a random stranger I'm never going to meet. But the reason I post my choices/ideas on here is to get my ideas into the open, to get a general consensus with people I consider to be intelligent, educated and open to names other than the really conservative (I mean, I can get that from my DH!). It would upset me/drive me mad to talk to my family and my DH's to hear their opinions, ideas and 'helpful suggestions'. So for me, it's worth the few negative comments - to get some real feedback.

My ds's name has often been described as 'poncy' on mumnset, with the comment that he will be bullied unless he goes to private school .

He is now 8 years old, goes to our local state primary school and has never, ever been teased about his name, it has never come up... in fact, we often get comments about how 'lovely and unusual' his name is.