This is what I don't understand.

Agree seeker

Mind, I texted ds2's unusual name to sister / aprents and received blanket 'no!' repsonses. Did it anwyay PMSL.

Children etase for any reason. And a name is easily one of them. I have a stand-out surname and I know the boys get called names for it; tbh it's amusing to dh and I rather than offensive: ds1 disagrees.

Oh and DS2 likes his name, and people approach me to say they like it (I imagine the ones who don't just shut up). It's worked out POK and as he is almost 10 I am fairly sure by now it was right (he is shares his name withg someone famous but famous in teh sixties rather than now, not a Chipmunk or Akon PMSL)

Ah it's well known on here; he is called Stirling. Like Mr Moss.

I'd say, having gone to an Irish secondary school in the 70s and 80s myself, that that poor girl had some experience of cliques and such.

What I saw of DD1's school was a lot more positive than the image the media often portrays of US high schools. The high school she attended was a big place (over 3,000 students) with its share of problems, but the everyday picking on people, and the expectation that this would probably be a part of a child's school experience from age 4 on, wasn't something I saw.

Well the way it was reported back home was that American high Schools are these terrifying places where teenagers ruthlessly categorise themselves into hierarchies of jocks and princesses and geeks and rich kids and nerds, and along comes this naive Irish girl who doesn't know what she is. She thought she was just a school girl. I know a lot of it is just perception but the way it was reported here made American High Schools sound like jungles.
Magaly
Apologies for the tangent there. But it's just interesting that you feel bullying more of a problem this side of the World. I mean, obviously you would know, having teenagers and living in US!

The suicide of Phoebe Prince in Boston as a result of bullying made national headlines in the US. It was featured on the national news on all the networks, as was the vigil held in her honour. I think it did so because there's more of a sense of that kind of behaviour being unacceptable in the US than there is in Britain.

There tends not to be the kind of routine British teasing or nicknaming or calling attention to physical features (such as red hair) in the US. There's lots of drama in the tween years among girls, but I think that goes on the world over. And yes, "Mean Girls" and the book that inspired it, by Rosalind Wiseman ("Queen Bees and Wannabees") were based on experiences of girls in the teen years in US schools. It's more about cliques and power plays than about the everyday teasing that parents fear so much in Britain, that can make children's lives miserable but that can fly under the radar.

OK, all this "call you kids whatever you want" stuff.

I had no idea what I DID want!

I was bullied/teased/whatever you want to call it because of my stupid rhyming name. Even as an adult people thought it hilarious.

seeker there was no need for you to bring up a thread from a few months ago. Very strange that the way people name their children seems to bother you so much.

Although, she wasn't 'teased' as it was nasty. Teasing is kind of light hearted and not necessarily meant to be horrible. CAN be an ice breaker..

Mathanxiety, what about Phoebe Prince? The Irish girl who went to live in Boston and was teased so badly there was a tragic end to that story. I don't think it could really be said that there's no teasing in the US??

well i know more than 4 people who have been teased. all with very ordinary names

i also know plenty of pepole with unusual names who have never been teased in their lives

seeker, it's unfortunate that you know some peole who have been teased. however, these extreme cases have made you extremely biased against less popular names. and so you're the last person to be giving advice really aren't you

I do wonder sometimes, what type of person comes on a place like this and sets down their own "rules" and then sits back and expects everyone to agree with them, and argues the toss with those who don't. tis a bit odd

Children are not teased because of their names.

They are teased because teasing is tolerated.

They are teased because some other child decides to boost his or her flagging self esteem by picking on another child and gets away with it.

seeker - you're calling me obtuse? That's funny. No, it really is.

Good point mathanxiety, I hadn't really thought about it before, but there was very little teasing and bullying at my school (NZ), but I guess I always thought it was more of a generational thing. I.E. More likely with today's kids / nothing something we oldies did.

Having lived here for a third of my life now, I have noticed that there is a real culture in Britain to take the mick out of people - it seems to be very ingrained into the sense of humour. And it's just expected that you take it, laugh back and be self-deprecating, no matter how harsh the teasing or bullying, otherwise you're no craic, and take yourself way too seriously. I guess it starts in childhood and continues right through adulthood.

In fact, it's no wonder, really, that bullying is quite prevalent. I know bullying and taking the piss are two different things, but it's a fine line and if children see adults behaving this way as normal, they're bound to do the same - and no doubt cross the line, not having the same awareness as adults of what is and isn't acceptable.

Teasing seems to be very much a British pasttime, preoccupation and worry. There seems to be very little interpersonal or intercultural sensitivity or respect going around, compared to the US for instance, where my oldest DD went right through school and never encountered much in the way of teasing or observed others being teased, despite being an academically inclined redhead with an unusual name.

What gives, wrt teasing?

I think there is a line, where unusual overlaps silly or risky. Minnie is an example of that. Tucker which rhymes with hooker and fucker. Lola or Honey which are quite sexualised imo...
I like unusual names, but there are things that should be avoided imo.

Of course there are risks involved in giving your child an unusual name, but I think there are far more risks in settling for a name you don't like as much simply for fear of other people's opinions. The fact that many people that post here continue to love a name despite negative responses from some mumsnetters is a far bigger indicator of their attitude towards it than the fact they sought opinions in the first place. Names are secondary to personality, and of course, people with unusual names can be very shy, but so equally can children with extremely common names. I was relentlessly bullied because I was quiet and academic at school, and I have one of the most common names in the UK. The point is you simply cannot know, whether you choose an unusual name or not, how your child will develop. The risks are ultimately equal for everyone, and we all have doubts and worries, so perhaps you could show some respect for other posters; they are in the same position as you.

I stand corrected, seeker, you didn't say bullied, you said 'teased unmercifully', that's completely different.

And - thank you for re-quoting me, but if you'd read my post, you would understand that I was paraphrasing. But you're right - it does sound judgemental and for that I apologise. It's not nice being on the receiving end of a judgemental generalisation, is it?

I asked about a name (under a different name) and the responses included things I either hadn't thought of or didn't know about. We have actually changed our minds about what to call our baby if it is a girl. In addition asking on here anonymously has been much more useful than asking friends/family who have their own agendas.

So thank you!

Seeker, no one is saying that ALL people with popular names wish they had more unique ones and cannot succeed in life, that would be ridiculous! Some do but others do wish that they had more unique names. And I am speaking from experience.

We are simply responding to your OP: Rather than discouraging people from choosing less common names, we should be supportive and encouraging of their choices, we should show more openness towards less common/usual names. Hopefully our children will grow up to be more accepting towards different cultures and names as well.

I did read actually read your post, but thank you for the condescension.

So, based on the fact that you know 4 children who were bullied for their names (and can you be sure that, in each case, this was the only reason?) in a population of I don't know how many school children, you are happy to be openly judgemental and criticise parents who don't name their children the same as thousands of other parents because you think it's 'bizarre' for them to not want their child to be one of many in the school with the same name?

valiumSingleton and DuelingFanjo are completely right - an unusual name will most likely not even enter into it.

It's just a thought, but if you don't like the list of names that people have offered - don't read it. Better still, don't write a negative comment, rebuke the poster for their choice and offer nothing else.

I just had a nosy at your pics and you're not ugly. The picture of you and your siblings all lined up against the wall in brightly coloured machine-knitted jumpers - I think I have one of those in my own album! Your wedding dress was lovely.

I was bullied and I have a very normal name. I was very poor and people called me madusa to my face because I was so ugly. That and four eyes. Then there were all the jibes about my clothes because I was poor. Often a name is the least of your worries.