Double Barelled Names

I guess if it's just two names it's fine. I always remember a girl who had been through parent divorce, then both parent remarriages and had ended up with four surnames (double barrelled at birth, mum insisted on new DH's name when she married him and Dad didn't think is was 'fair' on his new DP so she got lumped with all four). Her surname had nine syllables all included, and none of them were typical or common names.
Think carefully before you set a precedent!

Both my dh and I adopted double-barrelled name when we married. I liked my surname. I like my new surname even more - it gives us each a connection to the other's culture.

No one thinks it is pretentious as (to Brit ears) the first part sounds so outlandish that it can only be because my husband is from somewhere else.

It will give our (fingers crossed) future dcs a link to both cultures too. When they get married, well, they'll be adults and can do what they like. I'm not precious about it

Ahem actually I have. I know a family where dad was double barrelled so they added mums name on as well. So the children are triple barrelled.

Also the toffs are no advert for this. Annabella Gough-Calthorpe-Anstruther something or other in the copy of Hello I was reading in the hairdressers. Sorry but I think its all ridiculous. You did ask.

Cyteen, the aristos have certainly been multiple barrelling for centuries, but they do end up with ridiculous names - the first Duke of Buckingham and Chandos's family surname was Temple-Nugent-Brydges-Chandos-Grenville.

And don't get me started on the Tollemache-Tollemache family!

As I said before, maybe we should ask the aristocracy who seem to have been double barrelling quite happily for years without things getting too out of hand.

Cyteen - the problem of four names isnt quite yet upon us so Kerala probably hasnt heard of anyone yet. This double-barrelling seems to be a relatively recent thing which has coincided with the declining popularity of marriage. The double barrellers probably arent yet of an age to have their own children. What will they do when they are?

" What will happen when the double-barrellers have children of their own - quadruple barrelling? Why dont people just choose one name and be done with it?"
Like in Spain one of the name get dropped for each name (usually the women's side). Or you can choose only one of the name, if you don't like it.
I think it avoids the tedious task of dealing with hundreds of John Smith.....
When we had DD we weren't married so both names were needed for passeport reasons (you have trouble travelling with a child who has a different name, in many countries) and the registrar didn't even asked she assumed it will be both name as both parents were present.
We come from different counties so when we are in one country I use the name from which it originates making life easier
Plus it makes my dad happy that is name won't be dropped as he only has grand-daughters. I don't mind being called mrs X or Y or X-Y and I don't my DDs will either.

KERALA1, how many people have you actually met with four last names?

I agree with squishbelle where does it end? So your dd double barrell marries someone elses ds double barrell and ends up with little Sarah Smith Brown Green Harvey - crazy.

Think you should listen to llgrub who posted her actual experiences of being double barrelled. Seems to me it makes the parents feel better and is all about them negotiating their relationship but the poor child has to actually live with the consequences.

"But whether or not the relationship works out, the child is still the child of the ex, still carries his DNA -- why not acknowledge this and honour the fact that the child is part you and part someone else, genetically?"

Absolutely martha, these were my sentiments as well. Whatever happens between DP and I in the future, DS will always be his son and I would not wish to withdraw that from him, either in practice or by name. I suppose my colleagues were assuming that, should things sour, my son bearing my ex's surname and not mine would bother me and I'd regret it but legally be unable to change it (apart from by Deed Poll).

Well, that's your experience llareggub but it won't hold true for everyone. I've a few friends with double barrelled names who seem perfectly happy about it.

I had a double-barrelled name and it is incredibly tedious to live with. In fact, despite being a bit of a feminist I gladly took on DH's single surname and dumped the double-bareelled name. Why?

Well, no-one ever filed my records correctly so I had to get used to waiting patiently while receptionists looked under both letters of my surname. So irritating when it happens all the time.

Then there is the colleague or teacher who decide to drop one half of the surname leaving me oblivious to my name being called out. Oh, and the "friends" who snigger at the pretentiousness of the double-barrelling.

Then there is utter uselessness of those little boxes on CRB forms and the like where I used to run out of space for my silly surname and first and middle name.

Parents, don't DO IT to your kids. They won't thank you for it. It really is a pain in the arse.

DS loves having a hyphenated surname, one from me one from DP.
We didn't give him a middle name, after that - it seemed superfluous.

i have a different surname from my children as they have my surname as their middle name and his as a surname.

I have never encountered any problems. no one have ever questioned my relationship to them. how very strange......

schools doctors etc tend to just call you Mrs your kids surname. I would correct them if it bothered me but its no big deal

If it sounds ok then double barrel.

Very common amongst unmarried parents in my neck of the woods.

just a thought, what happens when all names get double barrelled. then next generation will be all quattrod surnames and then next generation after will be.....

But whether or not the relationship works out, the child is still the child of the ex, still carries his DNA -- why not acknowledge this and honour the fact that the child is part you and part someone else, genetically? If you end up with two double barreled names, you can always pick two of them (maybe one from each) and go with that for the children. I know they do something like this in Spain with names, not exactly sure what, but there's a system.

"The combining of surnames is really common at our school - but what happens when one parent alerady has doublebarrelled name (everyone ends up with different name..)"

DP and I faced this. His surname is double-barelled and has been for many generations...although both parts of it are short (xxxx-xxxxx) it would have been ridiculous to stick another hyphen in there, even though my surname is also only six letters long. I gave DS my surname as a middle name, as it's also a forename anyway. I have to say it does bother me a little that, although it does have a mention, my surname is never used - not that I expected otherwise. It does feel strange having a son with a different surname to me.

I work at a register office and everybody I work with - being sort of jobworths - were quite horrified that I gave DS my DP's surname. It actually stressed me out a bit throughout my pregnancy. The registrars are always, always advising unmarried mothers against this - in case anything goes wrong in your relationship because you can never alter the birth certificate, and because there have been instances of mothers being questioned by authorities as to their relationship to their child because there isn't a shared surname. If I was married and then something went wrong in my relationship, we divorced and I went back to my maiden name, DS would have a different surname from mine anyway - so their argument seems a bit redundant.

Ask the upper classes, they presumably do it all the time.

I'd like to know what is going to happen when all these kids with DB names get married to others with DB names. Will their kids have 4 surnames? When will it all end fgs?

The combining of surnames is really common at our school - but what happens when one parent alerady has doublebarrelled name (everyone ends up with different name..)

As long as the last surname used isn't Smith or Brown. Double barrelled Snotface-Smith or Poshtogs-Brown just looks like you thought good old fashioned Smith or Brown was too common. Height of net curtains pretentiousness. If one of your surnames is Smith or Brown put it first!

When my brother and SIL got married they double-barelled their surnames - I think partly because she had a dd from a previous relationship who had SIL's maiden name as her surname so they didn't want the dd to feel left out int the new family arrangement iyswim. They went on to have a ds and he also has the double-barelled name.... And the dd's boyfriend also has a double-barelled name.

All well and good but it was very funny at a recent family wedding when they couldn't find their names on the seating plan - turns out the software couldn't handle all the double-barelled names and ran out of space for their table!