I think this name is far too old-fashioned, should I tell my friend?

nothing wrong with the name Eileen, I've heard far worse than that!!

I think you have to choose your words carefully. If it was me, I'd say something like, 'Well it's not a name I'd choose but you know I like simple names (or whatever). It does make me think of old ladies but then old fashioned names are quite fashionable aren't they?' Which gets the message across but doesn't say no you don't like the name - if she goes with it you don't want her holding a grudge. Keep it light hearted.

Haven't read the whole thread (110 posts??!!) but my 'little sister' (she's now 30) is called Eileen. It was my Dad's Mum's name (she died when Dad was 16).

Hmmm, I don't think she loves the name, but she is always had it (obviously). We grew up not seeing it as a big deal, she's 5 years younger than me, so was 'baby Eileen' for a long time.

We do joke about it being an old ladies name. her aswell, but we just laugh about it. My Sister is very cool and can carry it off. She's actually known as 'Ei' by me and her husband and her close friends. My girls know her as 'Aunty Ei' which I think is quite cool actually.

She has had a few occasions where she has for example started a new job and everyone has been suprised when she turned up cos they were expecting a 60 year old!!!!!!

ah, so she's really not too sure about it anyway? In that case I think you can be honest but in a very kind manner...

The OP did say her friend has been asking for opinions about names, and that her reaction was to be non committal, so no need for quite such a pasting really.

pinkx4 go for Margaret. Hope is pretty recent in popularity, but Pearl is more old fashioned than Margaret (Pearl peaked in popularity in 1890, and Margaret in 1910). Plus it has loads of diminutives: Maggie, Madge, Marge, Meg, Megan, Rita, Daisy, Greta, Gretchen, Magee, Marg, Meggie and Peggy. Always nice to have lots of choice with a name I think.

It is just that when people say they love a name like Freda or Winifred, I wonder if they are serious or a wind up!

Sorry sophiesmummie-completely misunderstood! I agree with you.

piscesmoon, I can't believe that the OP is seriously considering telling her good friend that she shouldn't call her daughter a name she loves (Eileen), just because she happens to find it 'old fashioned'.

Friends should be supportive of each other and, unless a name is ridiculous or has seriously negative connotations, we should accept each others' different tastes/styles. Her friend obviously loves the name Eileen - nothing wrong with her loving that name - its her baby, her choice!

I don't know why you say that sophiesmummie-if you read baby name threads you would know that names such as Ivy, Pearl and Elsie (all far worse IMO)are popular.

I had three great-aunts. One of their names has come back with a bang (Ivy), another one I've seen mentioned approvingly on here (Hilda) and Eileen's the other... so I reckon Eileen is probably due for a renaissance following all those baby Alfreds and Rubys.

That's interesting BloodRedTulips. In Dublin would be the younger sister of an Ava or a Clara or a Flora.... I never knew it had all these negative associations.

Agreed it it's a horrible name but they obviously like it and unless they ask for your genuine opnion, I don't think you should say anything.

I really think this is a wind-up, I can't believe the OP is serious!

Frumpsville yes, but none of your business.

According to my dd1,Cobh is full of Stellas. And Millie in Belfast is similar to Stella in Cork! I don't know any Eileens under 50, but I knew a Scottish baby called Eilidh (I think!) pronounced Eil-ee.

My friend told me that my DS's name was "an old man's name". He was 3 at the time so it wasn't like I could change it! But it was a bit hurtful TBH.
Eileen will prob be really popular in about five years.

I really struggle to understand the argument "oh, it's an old-fashioned / granny's etc. name !!!" Old people used to be babies/toddlers/kids too, you know. They did not just appear at the age we know them now. So, it is really stupid to use this sort of argument.

You either like the way a name sounds or you don't. But in this case, whether YOU like the name Eileen or you don't has no significance whatsoever, since it is what YOUR FRIEND likes for her DD.

I agree that it is absolutely none of anyone else's business what they call their dc and it's best not to let people comment on your choice.

[snurk] having grown up in Cork whenever i hear the name Stella i hear it in a complete Cork knacker accent as an insult: 'Wouldya loowk at the state of tha fuckin stella bitch'

my name is completely and utterly unpronouncable to english folk thanks to bloody Corrie and that agony aunt in the red top... even when they hear it said properly they substitute the english version

sorry for my typing. my posts make no sense because I make so many typos. I need a "sense-checker"

Well I'm Irish,,,,,, and Eileen sounds old lady to me, but it doesn't sound ridiculous or unusable... It just surprises me, like Ethel or Enid.

but, I could see it coming back, with Isla as a nn...

I'm from dublin and I think of Michele as being quite dated.. definitely a 42 year old sort of name (nothing wrong with that, mum a beetle fan?). Stella is old lady or young toddler.

Some names are perceived differently though. Clodagh quite elegant in Ireland. Mixed up wiht claddagh rins in England! shudder. Ursula seems quite la-di-da to me. Kind of like Hermione on an adult in the uK.

Eileen is quite popular in Ireland, no?

When my Irish friend called her cat Sheila I was horrified. Sheila? Sheila? That's an old lady name you loon, it's not remotely pretty.

Apparantly, in Ireland lots of names that I think of as classy or pretty are absolute no-nos and very trashy, and conversely, lots of the names that she claims are popular there I consider to be old-fashioned and ugly.

She informed me that Stella is a right old slapper name in Cork, whereas it has lovely classy connotations for me.

Her name is Michelle and that is apparantly a classy name in Cork. She is my friend, so I did not tell her that in England (well, in North London anyway) it suggests a rather different image.

Anyway, her sister is Eileen (early thirties). She is very very glam and works in PR and I want to be her). So there you go, maybe the Irish are on to something.

I think that you can reasonably ask in a neutral way "Do you think it might be a little too old-fashioned?" but leave your comments at that and no more.
I like Eileen a lot, btw, I'd be fully supportive if she were my friend.