So we've chosen our name then found out a friend who's just had her baby has already taken it? what to do?

This happened to us too. My line manager at work had a baby whilst I was about 6 months pregnant with DC1 and used our boy name which was pretty unusual. I had told work colleagues that was our name before he announced his son's arrivual and a few commented on it, asking if we would still use it. I didn't really know what to do as DH was dead set that he wasn't changing it, but thankfully we had a girl.

I think if you are close enough to be seeing each other regularly - every couple of weeks or more - then it might be worth thinking on another name but if not then I don't think it matters at all. DD is now 2.8yo and among our baby friends of the same age there is an Isobel and an Isabella, it is pretty confusing for us and them, but I'm sure by the time they are a bit older they'll be used to it.

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This happened to us, 7 years ago!

We called some good friends who lived 400 miles away, to tell them our ds had been born. His name is Aidan. We chose it for many reasons, we like the meaning, it has links with Iona and Lindisfarne, 2 of our most fave places, etc etc ....

When we called them, she just went quiet.

Then said "that's the name we liked".

I said "cool! 2 Aidans. 400 miles apart, thats lovely!"

She went ahead and called her ds Aidan too.

Since then, due to divorce etc, she has moved a lot closer to us - and the 2 Aidans are friends. They LOVE the fact that they share a name. She is a good enough friend that I think the boys will see each other until they are at least 18.

No-one who is a good friend would really bother about this. So what if they have a friend with the same name. When they go to school, this could well happen anyway (dd1 is Katherine - I didn't know any others till she went to a big city primary for P2 and ended up one of many!!)

I really like it, and I think it's the new Esme.

Your friend will never believe that you had independently chosen the same name! she'll always think you copied her.

If you want to be a little more ahead of the curve, what about Dulcie?! or Greta?

Elsie is becoming very popular. Go on, go for your number two choice.

Have I missed this? - do you know for certain that you're having a girl?

I wouldn't dream of doing it - i have real trouble using a name that is within our social circle and would never knowingly do it, even if we only know them a little, to chat to in the playground!
But, most people (including dh) think i am bonkers to hold this point of view, so you should probably go for it!

This happened to two of my friends who had babies within a month of each other and neither minds that they have a DD with the same name. I'd say go for it.

I only discovered last year that dh has a cousin who's dd has the same name as our dd. I would go for it.

Go with it

You should go for it - your daughters will probably like having the same name as they grow older, and they may be distinguished by their second initial - i.e. Elsie B and Elsie G, by your mutual friends. It's a gorgeous name btw.

SIL did this to me, there was no bad intention on her part and she didnt know but i was upset. Still wish that dd had dn's name sometimes, but obv my sil is around but if she had just been a friend (i unexpoectedly moved when dd was 9 months so have lost touch with friends from that area) i would have def stuck to it

was wasn't a set name

This has happened to me too! Well, sort of! I had a name on my list that I really liked and then found out that a friend has just called her newborn the same name! I have now taken it off the list as it was a set name that we had chosen and dh isn't too disappointed so figure he wasn't as keen as me anyway!

If you really like it and you had your heart set on it, then go for it.

Elsie is my real 'pet hate' of a name! I am very tempted to say find another! However-my first advice stands.

It's up to you what name you choose. It can't be "taken" by a friend; your friend doesn't own the copyright of the name. If you both choose the same one it just means you have similar tastes

I think it's fine. If it were me I'd be feeling a bit disappointed that someone got in before us, but that will wear off soon enough. The two babies will have totally different characters!

Do you have many mutual friends? I could imagine a few comments if you share social circles to a large extent, but other than that, just take it as a compliment that someone loves the name as much as you do

Elsie is very pretty. What about Eliza, Esme or Maisie as similar alternatives?

If not, use Elsie.

Lovely name. You should definitely use it, I'm sure your friend will be fine with it.

Yes, of course you can. But worth mentioning it to your friend, what a coincidence, that's the name we've chosen etc. etc. etc.

Of course you can use it-tell her that you aren't copying, but had set your heart on it.Your baby has it for life-she may only be a friend of the other DC for 5 yrs out of 80+ years.

Depends on the name. Tell us!

Of course you can use the same name.

I would. Your child is yours for life - you may lose touch with your friend. Unless it is really rare - in which case I would have a chat with your friend - and say what a coincidence - we had chosen that name too ....