So we've chosen our name then found out a friend who's just had her baby has already taken it? what to do?

clairesimpson How many years difference is there in age between big and little Daniel? I presume your nephew lives a fair distance away from you and I think in that case it is absolutely fine for cousins to share a name. I don't think I'd do it if you saw a lot of each other though.

lottie do you see much of your cousin's child and are they a similar age or is there a big age gap?

We chose Tiana 10 years ago for our daughter and Disneys new film Princess Tiana comes out this autumn(angry) Even so would not change ,it really suits her.Not that relevant to the thread, but feels good to vent that!

People in families do sometimes have the same name, fathers and sons.

They are of different generations.

TO have two children of the same generation and only two years apart with the same name in the same family is definitely more unusual.

As the parent of one of them, you may not notice any problems, as one is your SON (a massive part of your life) and one is your husband's nephew (a peripheral part of your life). So, I can believe that it doesn't bother you. You've said it doesn't.

There is though a set of grandparents who have to explain to all their friends and relatives of their own generation, yes we have two grandsons both called Daniel. I'm sure that causes a few raised eyebrows. A few exclamations of surprise. A few questions like 'oh, did they run that past you?'

I think it must be a little embarrassing for them as it spells out fairly clearly that their perspective on the issue meant nothing when you were choosing the name. You didn't give it a thought.

But, I'm guessing it's not CS's own parents who have the two grandchildren called Daniel. Well, that's all right then, pretty far removed from you, not your problem!!

Somebody on a website making you feel uncomfortable about it?! I can only guess that's because I'm making you think. And that's what you didn't do before when you gave these people a 2nd gc called Daniel; think

oh ladies really have you all so little in your life that you have to argue over this the OP is very pregnant and she asked a simple question, she must hate logging on here now,
mrswee close it down call your baby elsie its beautiful it really is.
good luck and enjoy your new arrival to be soon x

When my cousin wanted to call her daughter by the same name as mine, she got her Mum to sit me down and asked if i minded, i said I didnt. When she was small we had big Charlotte and little Charlotte!

Could you keep the name but use a different spelling?

I'm in the situation where my cousin has the same name as me in a fairly small family. I was a teenager when she was born. I think my uncle asked my mum at the time if she was ok with them using the same name, but I don't remember them asking me (or if they did, I probably just said yeah it would be fine without really thinking what it would be like to live with it). The grandparents are fine about it, it really doesn't matter to them whether they have 2 grandchildren of the same name, but to be honest its always bugged me a little bit!

I am referred to as 'Big Preggers' and she is 'Little Preggers' in the family which I am not particularly keen on.

Back to the OP though, if its a friend and I had chosen the name already then I wouldn't change. Friends lose touch, family don't. I am pg with DS2 and have chosen a reasonably popular name for him. We are telling everyone what our name choice is to pre-empt any problems if one of my circle of friends chooses the same. If they do, I'm not changing now, but I wouldn't be too concerned either. Its a reasonably popular name so it's unreasonable for me to expect no other children of the same name!

Just like to say that having people with the same name in the family happens all the time without any problems. We are Greek and grandhcildren are often named after grandparents - therefore same name often used and no-one minds - easy to differentiate between people. Naming a child is such a personal decision - best left to the parents with everyone else butting out.

Hi MaggieLeo

If you can't actually explain why this would be a problem to grandparents it really can't be considered as a mature opinion worth considering. Also this suggests as a grandparent in that situation you would put your needs before your childs.

I like the name Elsa and I have said nothing to upset the OP.

Sorry that my opinion upsets other people, but it still stands. First cousins with the same name shows no consideration to the grandparents.

MiggieLeo

I wouldn't care one little bit whether my children wouldn't to give my grandchildren the same name. Why would I? It is totally their decision and I would respect that.

BTW totally agree with thehappyprince good summary

Hi MaggieLeo

To help mrswee, instead of making unfounded emotional statments it would be more balanced for you to explain what you think is so bad about having the same name in a family is. What terrible problems do you think it will cause grandparents which outweigh you being able to call your own baby a name you love day in and day out? By the way, contrary to your statement, we did sit down with my in laws and discuss this with them and they said they were perfectly happy and it wasn't a problem for them and it hasn't been. If it were your child with this dilemma would you really mind?

Oh for gods sake MaggieLeo, get a grip. Loads of families have the same name crop up, just because it doesn't happen in yours doesn't make it wrong. I agree that Mrswee should close this thread, horrible to see a name you've already chosen panned and lets face it no matter what name you choose there will be people who don't like it.

Claire, I dare say it because it's my opinion and it's common sense, and it seems that unlike you, I'm able to put myself into the Grandparents of the two Daniels shoes better than you are.

If you believe that given a choice (which I'm sure they weren't) the grandparents in question would have said, yes, yes, that's fine, perfect! TWO grandchildren called Daniel, that is FINE.

I think you're totally deluding yourself there. Nobody had the nerve to say to you what they were really thinking.

And MsWee, it is a balanced discussion. some people say it's fine go ahead and do it, and I am saying, that it's not always fine. You can't say it's not balance, look way if you don't agree with all the posts!!
MsWee, your Elsa and hte other Elsa wouldn't have relatives in common though, so it's not like the Daniels situation.

Hi MaggieLeo

For one, you obviously have a problem keeping track of names as my nickname is clairesimpson not jessicasimpson. Secondly, how dare you suggest my choice showed a lack of respect to family members when I discussed this with all those affected and they have never had a problem with it. What is so terrible and inconvenient about having 2 family members with the same name? I have the same name as my sister in law, maybe to save any inconvience my husband and I shouldn't have got married! Thirdly, I don't know why you are being so unecessarily agressive and scathing about other people's personal choices in life. This is supposed to be helping mrswee make a balanced choice with her dilemma. I think you may be right mrswee, its time you stopped looking at this thread and try and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Good Luck with your decision!

My friend had a baby Hilda recently..... we all thought it was a strange choice but now she is here everyone adores her and her name fits her perfectly!!!!! Bugger what anyone else thinks. I am pregnant and hormonal too and feel like taking on the world!!!!!!!!!!!! I love 'older' generation names!!!! In fact i walk through a graveyard on my way out sometimes and often glance at the 'old' names for ideas!!!!!!!!

Fiver, so if YOU had two grandchildren called Daniel, you wouldn't wish that one of them was called Jack??

I think it's a very insular way of looking at it. It may not bother you the mother in the slightest that your child's cousin has the same name, but somebody in that scenario is going to have a son AND a nephew called Daniel, AND somebody else TWO gc with the same name.

That lack of consideration for the wider family is weird.

you use whatever name you like its your baby girl and its so special the name choosing, especially when shes older and she knows mummy and daddy loved the name elsie and it
was as special as she was/and is now

take no notice of some people on here they can be harsh and some have been as well
enjoy the rest of your pregnancy
you both must be so excited by now

Oh by the way, my nan also hated her name.

But if you love it, use it. It's not exactly "out there" in the normality stakes - if you were planning to call your daughter Moon Unit then she might have cause for complaint.

I just can't help getting prejudiced about the old ladies names! My mother has one that is much loved on these babyname threads and has hated it all her life-when she started school at 5 yrs she tried to pretend she was known as Jane but didn't get away with it!

Ignore me-you have the name you like!
My DSs names come up on here as dull and boring-it doesn't worry me at all-I love the 'dull and boring' names. If you and DH love Elsie nothing else matters.

IT's not weird at all Maggie. Loads of families have members with the same name ie. fathers/sons.

I have a brother and a cousin with the same name. There's about 20 years difference in age between them though. No ones cares that they have the same name, least of all my Grandparents.

Indicently I married a man with the same name so now there's 3 peeple with this name in my family. But it's a very popular name.

JessicaSimpson, I think that's really weird. Sorry. You have given one set of grandparents TWO grandsons called Daniel. If my brother called his kids the same names as my kids, MY parents would find it quite odd and hard to keep track of.